Reflected in your tears original
by Loren-Mac
Summary: All 159 pages in full how they were originally. This is the script style version. But it's the whole story rather than just the first bit! :-)


The characters that are in the episodes not the characters that are necessarily still in it and a few of which leave during the episodes. Not in any way connected with BBC or with Holby, Thank you. I have no rights over the characters which may or may not be changed at the BBC's will.  
  
Scripts copy write of Loren Macdonald. 2003.  
  
When the road ends- Amanda's funeral.  
  
Chrissie and Owen are standing at the funeral their eyes shining with fresh tears.  
  
Chrissie: Goodbye my child  
  
Owen: Forever with us our little angel.  
  
Owen looks down on the grieving Chrissie and pulls her close to him.  
  
Tricia: Ohh, Chrissie Darling, its going to be ok.  
  
Chrissie Nods and buries her head in Owens now quite damp shirt. At the back of this congregation of people stands Ed a single tear rolls down his cheek and he hurries off to not be caught by Owen. Diane is standing near Chrissie and Owen.  
  
Ric: Are you sure you're ok to stay.  
  
Diane: My friend has just lost her baby, I'm not leaving.  
  
Diane is looking rather rough and tired though and Ric doesn't look like she's fooling him  
  
Ric: look just come back to my house after ok?  
  
Diane: I'm gonna be ok, just leave me alone.  
  
Ric: Please, it's the least I can do.  
  
Diane: I'm so busy  
  
Ric: You know as well as I do that we have no surgery until this afternoon.  
  
Diane sighs and looks at Ric and nods gently. The camera pans over to Chrissie and Owen. Chrissie has a few silent tears escaping from her wide eyes and Owen has her pulled close.  
  
Owen: We're going back to the house now, which of you are coming back? Kath: I need to get back to work, (puts her arm onto Chrissies shoulder) I'm so sorry, Chrissie, but it was a beautiful service.  
  
She smiles warmly at them and walks off.  
  
Ric: Diane and I have some paper work to sort out; it was a wonderful service Owen. Sorry we have to leave.  
  
Diane puts on a half-hearted smile at Owen and Chrissie and Ric leads her out towards his car.  
  
Chrissie and Owen go lead out talking between them to the car but not before Chrissie laying flowers at the grave  
  
Chrissie: Goodbye my darling Amanda.  
  
Chrissies eyes are laden with dried tears and Owen wipes her face gently with his hand. She backs off slightly and just walks quickly towards the car.  
  
Back at Ric's house, they come through the door; Diane is almost in tears as she sits down on the sofa smoothing out the cloth.  
  
Ric: Do you want a cup of tea or something  
  
He puts on the kettle despite no reply from the living room.  
  
He then walks out and sits on the chair opposite Diane.  
  
Ric: Diane I've known you for long enough now and I know your not quite right, its not the termination is it?  
  
Diane: I'm fine ok; it was just like a termination again. There I was killing off my baby and all Chrissie wanted was hers not to die.  
  
Diane starts to cry again and tries to hide her face. Ric gets up and sits next to her and puts his arm round her. She buries her teary eyes in his shirt.  
  
Ric: It's all right Diane, I told you not to go back to work. Why didn't you listen to me?  
  
Diane: It's not about work, maybe we should go back.  
  
Ric: I'm not going just yet, not till I know that you're ok.  
  
Diane: I'm fine, I was just being stupid.  
  
Ric: No Diane, I want you to take as much time off as you want, A week at the least.  
  
Diane: I would rather be at work, it keeps me busy, and it helps keep your mind off things. We are short of staff as it is.  
  
Ric sighs and lets Diane pull away from him.  
  
Diane: I'm just going to use your bathroom.  
  
Ric: Yeah sure, it's just down the hall....  
  
At Owens house....  
  
Tricia: Are you ok darling.  
  
Tricia is rubbing Chrissies shoulder and smiling gently at her.  
  
Chrissie: I'll be ok all right?  
  
She pulls away from her mother and goes to serve some food. Tricia walks off to go find Owen.  
  
Tricia: Can I borrow you a minute please.  
  
Owen: Sure, I'll be right back, sorry.  
  
Tricia Pulls Owen off to the side of the wall and talks in a near whisper  
  
Tricia: You really need to be with her at the moment, she's not being herself.  
  
Owen: She's just lost a baby what do you expect?  
  
Tricia: I know, I'm just looking out for her, just keep with her and look after her ok?  
  
Owen nods and goes to look for Chrissie in the kitchen.  
  
Owen: When are you considering going back?  
  
Chrissie: Next week, I'd be bored sitting around all day.  
  
Owen: Is that really wise Chrissie. Take another week off; I'll stay with you if you like.  
  
Chrissie: I don't know... I'll think about it, but right now I just want to be alone.  
  
Chrissie pushes herself past guests and shuts herself in the bedroom where she sits on the bed and cries some more, away from all the staring faces. She places her hand softly on her stomach and clutches it hard, wincing in pain.  
  
Diane and Ric are sitting on the couch together, well more of her lying on the couch resting her head in his lap. Ric is stroking her hair away from her face; he has still loved her ever since they parted all those years back...  
  
At Owens...  
  
Owen: Has any body seen Chrissie?  
  
Tricia: I haven't, I'm getting worried.  
  
Owen: I'll go and look in the bedroom.  
  
Owen opens the door to the bedroom to find Chrissie collapsed on the floor. Owen Rushes over and pulls her head up, A good time to be accompanied by surgeons.  
  
Owen: Some help in here please!  
  
He rushes out into the living room and spots Tom Campbell-Gore talking to Tricia.  
  
Owen: Tom, help she's collapsed! Tom follows Owen into the bedroom and they both check her over.  
  
Owen: I think it's probably her blood not clotting again.  
  
Tom: Probably an internal bleed then, Owen quick go get my car.  
  
Tom throws Owen his keys; Owen then gets up and stares at Chrissie  
  
Tom: Owen... GO!!!  
  
Owen: Oh, right, yeah.  
  
Owen hurries over to the door, grabs the car and drives it up close to the door. A few seconds later Tom comes rushing out with Chrissie in his arms and places her into the back seat and then jumps into the passenger seat and they drive off with Tricia in hot pursuit.  
  
At Ric's house....  
  
Diane and Ric are kissing on the couch and Diane suddenly pulls away.  
  
Diane: No Ric, lets not go down that path again, it's not right.  
  
Ric jumps up rather embarrassed and goes into the kitchen and starts busying himself with the kettle.  
  
Diane: I'm sorry, I'd best go.  
  
Ric: No wait, stay. I'll take you up to the hospital if you're determined to work today. The shift starts in an hour, so there's no point in going home.  
  
Diane begins to look quite uncomfortable and grabs her bag.  
  
Diane: Please let me go.  
  
Ric: I'll come with you; we might as well go now.  
  
Diane's face is extremely pale and her whole face looks tired.  
  
Ric: Are you all right Diane, you look rather pale.  
  
Diane: Yeah, I'm fine.  
  
Ric: You really don't look it. Just sit down; maybe work was a bad idea.  
  
Diane stands, and smiles at him.  
  
Diane: Lets just go ok, you don't need to look after me, I'm ok on my own.  
  
Ric reluctantly opens the door and lets Diane out and follows her up the path towards his car....  
  
At Holby.  
  
Chrissie is being wheeled down the corridor toward surgery.  
  
Mubbs: We have to work fast; it looks like a tear in her womb so she may have to have a hysterectomy.  
  
Owens face turns white and his grip loosens on Chrissies hand.  
  
Owen: please try and avoid a hysterectomy if you can please Mubbs.  
  
Mubbs seems shocked that Owen has asked something of him.  
  
Mubbs: I didn't think you were talking to me.  
  
Owen: Not now please Mubbs.  
  
Mubbs: We have another Consultant Obstetrician on the way, but until then, Owen can you do this?  
  
He looks steadily towards Owen whose face looks in deep concentration.  
  
Owen: Yeah, sure, I'll be fine.  
  
Mubbs and Owen are scrubbing up and do not say a word to each other. They walk over to the Table and Owen almost looses his head as he strokes her hair aside.  
  
Owen: Lets make the incision, scalpel please.  
  
Owen carefully cuts around the lower stomach a small amount of blood spurts up at him  
  
Mubbs: if we can stop the bleed and patch up the womb, all should be ok.  
  
Owen stitches up the bleed with Sutra stitches and sighs with relief when they hold and the bleeding stops.  
  
Owen: Good work guys! Can I leave you to close?  
  
Mubbs: Sure.  
  
Owen throws his mask on the floor and leaves theatre where he then goes in search of Tricia who is sitting in the relative's room. As he walks into the room she jumps up from the chair and waits anxiously for his feedback.  
  
Owen: She's going to be fine, almost had to have a hysterectomy but we managed to stop the bleed.  
  
Tricia: Ohh, thank you so much Owen.  
  
She smiles warmly at him and then hugs him tightly her eyes brimming with fresh tears of joy.  
  
Ric and Diane arrive at Holby.  
  
Sandy: Ric, Diane. Chrissie has had to have an emergency operation up in maternity seems she wont be back for another couple of weeks.  
  
Ric: That's all we need right now.  
  
Diane: We'll manage, like we always do.  
  
Ric: Like we always DID.  
  
Diane smiles and walks off with some clipboards in her hand towards the wards where she busies herself with patients.  
  
Ric then follows after her. A man of about 30 is sitting up in his bed his face is pale, his face is smiling but his eyes do not follow the smile.  
  
Diane: Adam this is Ric Griffin the Consultant that's going to be doing your operation. If you would please talk him through it, Ric.  
  
Ric: Hello Adam, You have a small lump on your lower right lung, for now we are just going to take a biopsy to see whether it is malignant or not. And depending on the outcome, later tonight we will be removing it.  
  
Adam: And then what?  
  
Ric: Right now, I really can't say.  
  
Adam nods.  
  
Diane: Have you not got any family you would want here for you?  
  
Adam: My parents died in a house fire when I was sixteen, I have no children or any living relatives. My girlfriend and I recently split, so no, I haven't.  
  
Diane: I'm sorry.  
  
Adam: Don't be, it was so long ago now.  
  
Ric: We have you scheduled in for your op in ten minutes so, any questions you need answered before we go ahead.  
  
Adam: No.  
  
Ric and Diane head off for theatre while Sandy gets Adam prepped for surgery.  
  
Chrissies eyes begin to slowly open and Owen is still by her side stroking her hand, Tricia is standing at the back of the room smiling.  
  
Owen: You scared us quite a bit then.  
  
Chrissie: What happened? Last thing I remember was having an awful stomach ache.  
  
Owen: You almost had to have a hysterectomy, your womb was badly torn and you were loosing allot of blood.  
  
Tricia: But your ok now, that's all that matters.  
  
Chrissie: mum!  
  
Tricia: Are you ok Darling, do you want anything.  
  
Chrissie: (her usual stern tone when talking to her mum) No, I'm fine THANKYOU! Tricia: I'm going to get some water, just in case.  
  
Chrissie sighs and then looks up to Owen and smiles at him with a look of adoration.  
  
Diane and Ric are walking out of surgery and Diane is looking much better.  
  
Ric: I'm glad to see you're a little happier.  
  
Diane: Times like these make you realise what you really have.  
  
It's the end of their shift it's dark outside and they head for the pub across the road.  
  
Diane: I'll have a white wine please.  
  
Ric: Nothing for me please, I'm driving.  
  
Back in the Hospital with Chrissie and Owen.  
  
Chrissie: Go home and get some rest, I'll be fine.  
  
Owen: I'm not leaving you again.  
  
Chrissie: Please, just go.  
  
Owen: I'll wait until you fall asleep.  
  
He sits stroking her hair and she is laying in the bed smiling as she slowly drifts of to sleep. The camera zooms out to a full view of the room, from the top and you see Tricia staring through the window at the pair of them with a look of satisfaction. Chrissie's eyes close shut and Owen leans forwards and kisses her on the forehead and then stands up to leave. Out side he bumps into Tricia.  
  
Owen: I didn't realise you were still here.  
  
Tricia: (sighs) yeah. I couldn't leave her.  
  
Owen: Neither could I.  
  
Tricia: You really love her don't you?  
  
Tears brim in Owens eyes.  
  
Owen: (nods and whispers) yeah.  
  
You can see Diane lying in bed, asleep the camera zooms out slightly to show Ric laying next to her, in his bedroom. The Holby theme tune starts and the camera slowly zooms out from the sleeping Surgeons.  
  
When the road Ends (part 2)  
  
Diane is coming out of Ric's bathroom all dressed and is grabbing up her things. Ric is sitting up in bed.  
  
Diane: I'm sorry, I used your shower, you don't mind do you.  
  
Ric: Of course not, Wait and I'll get ready and we can go to work together,  
  
Diane: No, I need to go home and change my clothes and get ready properly. Just let me go.  
  
Ric smiles and Diane hurriedly escapes the bedroom dropping a few items from her bag.  
  
In Chrissies ward room.  
  
Chrissies eyes flutter open and slowly adjust to the sun beaming through the curtains. Owen is sitting at the foot of her bed staring at her and smiling broadly.  
  
Chrissie: Owen! How long have you been here?  
  
Owen: Not long, I wanted to see you before work.  
  
Chrissie: You're terrible!  
  
Owen: How are you feeling?  
  
Chrissie: Better, I just want to get back to work, how it used to be and get back into the normal routine.  
  
Owen: You know that won't be for a while.  
  
Chrissie turns over in bed and her face has a slight look of boredom on it.  
  
Chrissie: Just get off to work, before you get us both in trouble!  
  
Owen stands up and walks over to Chrissie and kisses her tenderly on the cheek and walks over to the door without turning around.  
  
Diane Arrives in work a bit late she looks a lot better, her makeup is well done and she looks refreshed.  
  
Ric: You left these at mine. (He hands her a few items of clothing)  
  
Diane snatches them quickly and tries to conceal the fact that she was with him.  
  
Diane: (quite sternly) Thanks.  
  
Sandy is standing at behind the desk, her face lights up with enjoyment of this little situation. Diane shoots a look towards Sandy and busies herself with the clipboards and goes to see some more patients.  
  
Diane: I would rather you didn't mention last night to anyone.  
  
Ric: Sure.  
  
He smiles at her and follows Sandy over to the patients.  
  
In Chrissie's room..  
  
Tricia: Are you sure you want to go to Owens; you know there is always a place at mine.  
  
Chrissie: Yes, I'm sure!  
  
Tricia smoothes out the bedcovers and looks at Chrissie.  
  
Tricia: I remember when you were younger; you came in hospital because you had broken your arm.  
  
Chrissie: Mum!  
  
Tricia: No, And all you wanted to do is leave this place, but now you can't get enough of it.  
  
Tricia smiles and stands up.  
  
Tricia: I had best be off to work.  
  
Chrissie Nods and turns over to face the opposite wall, the camera shows a vase of roses in her view. Tricia leaves the room and goes off to find Owen instead of going to work.  
  
Sandy: Yes I'm sure it happened Kath, Diane and Ric.  
  
Kath: I really don't think that it is any of our business.  
  
Sandy: But they were making it really obvious.  
  
Ric comes up behind Kath and Sandy.  
  
Ric: Good morning ladies.  
  
Sandy: Oh, good morning Mr. Griffin  
  
Kath: I am going to see Mr Readbourogh.  
  
Ric: Good idea.  
  
Sandy: I have so much to be catching up on.  
  
Ric does his usual, Ric look and pulls Sandy back.  
  
Ric: I know what you saw but I would rather that my business was not spread around the hospital please Sandy.  
  
Sandy nods and walks away looking rather amused for someone that had just been shouted at.  
  
Diane is getting ready for surgery, doing a lung transplant on Mr Readbourogh.  
  
Diane: Good morning Mr Readbourogh, you are our Transplant patient are you not?  
  
Mr Readbourogh: Sure am. Might I say that hospitals have never been so good.  
  
Diane: We try.  
  
Mr Readbourogh: And the staff... Well, let's just say I don't think I'm going to go in a hurry.  
  
Diane: Mr Readbourogh, can we just get on with your health. Any problems?  
  
Mr Readbourogh: Nope.  
  
Diane looks up at his heart monitor, it starts racing violently.  
  
Mr Readbourogh: That's what girls like you can do to a man!  
  
Diane shudders and walks down to Ric.  
  
Diane: Can you please see to Mr Readbourogh, I would rather not.  
  
She walks off without a question and bumps into Kath.  
  
Kath: Sorry Diane.  
  
Diane: Its ok, I had other things on my mind.  
  
Kath: Has it anything to do with sandy?  
  
Diane: No, just a patient, I wouldn't worry about it.  
  
Ric and Diane are scrubbing up for Surgery.  
  
Ric: This one is a real live wire.  
  
Diane: More of a creep.  
  
They enter Surgery without another word. While doing the transplant Ric's eyes keep looking over to Diane and looking away again..  
  
In Maternity. (Owens's office)  
  
Mubbs: You were the father!  
  
Owen: What?  
  
Mubbs: I looked at the results.  
  
Owen: you had no right to go behind my back like that. GET OUT!  
  
Mubbs quickly leaves the room shortly followed by a very angry Owen.  
  
After the surgery.  
  
Mr Readbourogh: I always like to wake to a pretty face.  
  
Diane Smiles and looks towards a few of the young man's friends, Alex his friend starts to walk over to Diane.  
  
Alex: I wish I could be in Hospital with people like you.  
  
Diane starts to back away from him, a look of terror on her face.  
  
Alex: don't be afraid I'm not going to hurt you.  
  
Diane: RIC!!!  
  
Ric comes rushing into the ward and runs over to Diane.  
  
Alex: You know you want to, she was asking for it!  
  
Ric doesn't think twice he pulls back his fist and slams a hard one into Alex's face. Forever love  
  
Diane lay her head back in the car, the pain was too much for her to move. Ric's hand gripped onto hers as he dialled 999 from outside the car. He bent forward, his face anxious and prickled with tears.  
  
Ric: On Abberwood Road, Diane Lloyd, She's a Registrar at the hospital yes. Me, Ric Griffin. URGENT!!  
  
Ric stroked Diane's hand gently, Diane's face was white with pain but she kept conscious and just kept talking.  
  
Diane: *gasp* If I don't make it, I never stopped loving you. *Gulps* (Diane hesitates between most words with the difficulty to breath and she closes her eyes a lot.) I... never wanted... to kill Steve's baby... I just... thought that it was... was... best.  
  
Diane closes her eyes and breaths in deep. Ric stokes her forehead.  
  
Ric: Its going to be ok, Diane, there going to come and they are going to save you.  
  
Tears stream silently down Ric's face as he battles to keep Diane alive. He looks down wards at the pole that is wedged into Diane's side.  
  
Ric: Diane?  
  
Diane moves her head and slowly begins to lift it.  
  
Diane: I'm awake.... Don't let me go Ric... don't......  
  
Ric: DIANE!!!!!!!!  
  
Sounds of an ambulance slowly get louder as it pulls up with a fire engine at the crash.  
  
Diane slowly opens her eyes slipping in and out of consciousness.  
  
Ric: Get me some tweezers, sutures and a saw and I can do this.  
  
Fire man: We have to get her out of the car first sir.  
  
Ric: look if we don't get her out she will bleed to death.  
  
The tears constantly stream down his cheeks. His face looks soft unlike its usual look.  
  
Diane's face looks scared.  
  
Diane: Ric, don't leave me.  
  
Tears of pain fall down her cheeks and Ric rushes over and grabs her hand again.  
  
Ric: I'm not going anywhere.  
  
Diane sighs and the Fireman begin to take the roof off of the car. Ric tightens his grip on her hand and smiles into her blue eyes. She looks into his huge trusting brown eyes and knows that he would never let harm come by her. After all he still loved her as well.  
  
On Keller Ward..  
  
Sandy: Has anyone seen Ric or Diane?  
  
Kath: Haven't you heard? Ric went looking for Diane an hour ago, Diane got into a car crash and has part of a pole sticking through her stomach, and they are on their way to Holby.  
  
Sandy: God, how did that happen?  
  
Kath: I don't know, but I would suggest you just get on with your work.  
  
Back at the scene of the crash.  
  
Diane: It hurts Ric... Really bad.  
  
Ric: Can I give her a pain killer or something.  
  
One of the paramedics passes Ric a needle and he places it into her arm.  
  
Ric: That might do it, morphine.  
  
Diane smiles weakly at Ric.  
  
Diane: One good thing has come of it... You finally got me to.. To. stay of. work for a.. Bit.  
  
Diane is finding it more and more difficult to breathe as the pole is crushing her lungs. Ric raises his hand to her lips and whispers for her not to talk.  
  
Ric: You're going to live to be an old lady Diane, and one day you're going to be a brilliant consultant and show everyone what you're really made of. You can't die on me Diane, do you hear me?  
  
The Fire department have cut away the car and the pole has been cut so that it doest stick out of Diane so much any more.  
  
Ric: We are just going to get into the ambulance now, you just have to make it to the hospital, you can do this Diane, you're a fighter!  
  
Diane's face is still white with pain but across it is a slight look of determination to fight for her life. She nods silently and Ric lifts her onto the stretcher and follows it onto the ambulance.  
  
Tom Campbell-gore is getting ready for Diane's surgery with Ed on his side again.  
  
Tom: It always hurts when it's someone close.  
  
Ed: Especially someone like Diane.  
  
Ed and Tom finally meet up with the trolley that holds Diane and wheel it down.  
  
Tom: No doubt you know the procedure Miss Lloyd.  
  
Diane nods and grips Ric's hand once more; Tom looks from Diane to Ric and then snaps back to his job again.  
  
Ed: We need to hurry this one Tom, that pole is going to pierce something important soon.  
  
The camera switches To Ric, his hand is outstretched as Diane goes into surgery, he sits on the seat, another tear rolls down his wet cheeks and he pulls his hands over his eyes.  
  
Ric: Why Diane?  
  
Kath comes through the doors and spots Ric sitting alone in the corridor.  
  
Kath: I thought you could use some company.  
  
Ric pulls his hands away from his face to reveal that he had been crying.  
  
Kath: She's going to be fine, Tom's a great consultant!  
  
Ric: She told me she loved me.  
  
Kath: Diane?  
  
Ric nods and Kath puts her arm around him.  
  
Ric: While we were in the car, what if she never makes it, will she know I feel the same?  
  
Kath: Of course she will Ric, she knows that you always loved her... What happened?  
  
Ric: I don't know, I just spotted her car and pulled up and there she was, with a pole through her side, calling for help.  
  
A single tear rolls down Kath's face and a look of understanding fills her eyes.  
  
Kath: I'm sure they would let you in there if you wanted to go.  
  
Ric: I couldn't, I would be too tempted to help, I'm best out here. Tom would not like me in there anyways.  
  
Jess comes flying down the corridor.  
  
Jess: Dad! What's happened?  
  
Ric: It's Diane. She...  
  
Jess: She what?  
  
Kath: she was involved in a car accident; she's in theatre at the moment.  
  
Jess: Why didn't any one tell me?  
  
Ric: Just get back to work!  
  
Jess: If you don't let me into your life, how am I meant to help?  
  
Ric: I don't know, Jess.  
  
Kath: I will leave you two alone; I had best go and help Sandy.  
  
The doors to Theatre open and you here Tom and Ed talking and the beeping  
  
of the heart monitor. Tom and Ed come out.  
  
Tom: We managed to remove the pole and save her life.  
  
Ric stands up so suddenly he almost knocked over Jess.  
  
Ric: Thank you so much Tom, Ed.  
  
Ed: It was all thanks to Tom.  
  
Ric smiles as Diane is wheeled out of theatre and onto the ward.  
  
Tom: Ric, do you know what, happened?  
  
Ric: I just found her there, I'm not sure what happened, you will have to  
  
ask her.  
  
Tom, Ed and Ric go off towards Keller ward.  
  
Diane's eyes flicker open.  
  
Diane: Ric?  
  
Ric: Yes Diane, I'm here.  
  
Diane: It hurts.  
  
Ed: It's going to.  
  
Tom: But what we want to know is what exactly happened?  
  
Diane looks up, surprised to see them there.  
  
Diane: I don't remember, I was driving to work and this driver was cutting  
  
me up and after that I remember talking to Ric and that's it. It goes black  
  
after that.  
  
Ric: Maybe she will remember more later on.  
  
Tom leaves the room in a hurry. Ed then turns to Diane.  
  
Ed: Get better soon, I had best get back!  
  
Ed follows Tom out of the room and catches up with him.  
  
Ed: Do you think she remembers anything?  
  
Tom: Maybe she does and doesn't want any one to know.  
  
Ed: Do you think it was Ric then?  
  
Tom: I don't think so.  
  
Back in Diane's room.  
  
Diane: Ric, I'm glad it was you there.  
  
Ric: I'm just happy I found you.  
  
Diane reaches down and touches her side her hand raises and blood appears  
  
on it.  
  
Diane: RIC!!  
  
Diane's Heart monitor starts to flat line. Ric jumps onto the bed and  
  
starts to do CPR. He presses the button on the side of the bed and the  
  
alarms go off.  
  
Ric: Can we get the crash trolley in here! Someone get Ed and TOM!!  
  
Ric keeps on pumping hard on her heart and bagging her mouth.  
  
Ric: Come on Diane, don't die on me!  
  
One of the crash team: Charging at 30, stand clear!  
  
The sounds of the crash machine.  
  
Tom comes rushing into the room closely followed by Ed.  
  
Tom: How long now?  
  
One of the crash team: About half an hour.  
  
Tom: Ok, everyone, stop.  
  
Ric: No!  
  
Ric jumps back onto the table and starts to do CPR again.  
  
Tom: Let her go, its over.  
  
Tears stream down Ric's face, he falls over Diane's body crying  
  
uncontrollably.  
  
Tom: Come on Ric.  
  
He pulls Ric's arm and gets him down, Ric looks up into Toms eyes.  
  
Ric: I'm taking the day off, notify the SHO and get in another consultant.  
  
Tom: Time of Death 12:14  
  
All the tone in Ric's voice has gone; he walks out of the room but not  
  
before shooting one last look at Diane lying on the bed her eyes closed  
  
peacefully.  
  
Ric is sitting by the window in his office. There is rain spattered all over the window and running down on it. The camera zooms out to reveal Ric sitting behind it, tears rolling down his soft face from his trusty brown eyes.  
  
Jess walks in behind him he does not turn.  
  
Jess: Dad, I just heard what happened.  
  
Ric looks through the window still.  
  
Jess: Dad, if there is anything I can do.  
  
Kath comes through the door.  
  
Kath: sorry if I am interrupting something.  
  
Jess: No, maybe you can get more out of him than I can.  
  
Jess looks sympathetically at Ric, shrugs at Kath then leaves the room.  
  
Kath: Ric, I'm so sorry, I just.Don't know what to say.  
  
Ric: You don't have to say anything.  
  
Kath: I know how you feel; it does get easier, I promise.  
  
Ric turns to look at her; they both have tears streaming down their faces. Kath gets up and goes over to him, putting her arm around him.  
  
Kath: Are you going to be ok?  
  
Ric: Someone needs to phone her relatives.  
  
Kath: Ok, I will.  
  
Kath leaves the room and shuts the door silently behind her. Ric opens his hand and looks at the engagement ring in his hand. He closes his hand and pulls it up to his heart. He bends over and cries into his clenched fist.  
  
On Keller ward.  
  
Kath: He's not coping well.  
  
Sandy: He needs some one with him.  
  
Kath: He wanted me to phone her relatives for him.  
  
Sandy: You go, I'll phone them. He needs you.  
  
Ed: I'll tell Tom where you have gone.  
  
Kath enters the office to find Ric crying in his hand.  
  
Kath: I'm beginning to think that there is something you're not telling me.  
  
Ric opens his hand and the engagement ring falls to the floor. Kath leans over and picks it up.  
  
Kath: Ric, keep it.  
  
She places the ring into his hand and closes his fingers around it.  
  
Tears start to fall onto his clenched fist once more.  
  
Kath: Oh Ric, you really loved her didn't you.  
  
Ric: More than you know.  
  
Kath places her hand onto his fist and rubs it gently, Ric is a real mess.  
  
On Keller Ward,  
  
Sandy: Have you seen him?  
  
Ed: Yeah, he's not good at all, he's in pieces.  
  
Sandy: Not at all like Ric is it?  
  
Ed: No.  
  
Sandy: I just don't understand it.  
  
Ed: They were Ex-lovers.  
  
Sandy: Wow, I didn't know, poor Ric.  
  
Chrissie walks over and stands next to Sandy.  
  
Chrissie: Sandy are you going to do any work today or are you just going to stand around and chat for the rest of the day?  
  
Sandy: Chrissie, Diane died.  
  
The smile fades from Chrissies face and tears well in her eyes.  
  
Chrissie: How, when?  
  
Ed: She was in a car accident, and then err, the operation went well but there was a complication after. And she died.  
  
Chrissie: Oh my god, how is Ric?  
  
Ed: Not good.  
  
Sandy: That's what we were just talking about.  
  
Back in Ric's office.  
  
The door opens and in walks Diane's mum, Lauren, walks in, her eyes puffy and her make up ruined.  
  
Lauren: Ric,  
  
Ric: Mrs Lloyd, I did all I could.  
  
Kath: He really did.  
  
Lauren: I know you did, Ric.  
  
Lauren sat down in an empty chair her tears running black from her mascara.  
  
Ric: I don't want anything to do with the funeral; I will pay for it but. I'm not good with arrangements.  
  
Lauren: Thank you Ric.  
  
Kath: You have plenty of time to think about all of this.  
  
Lauren: I just don't believe it's really happened.  
  
She falls into Kath's arms crying hard. Kath leads her out leaving Ric alone in the office once more. He buries his head in his arms. He looks up briefly to look at the time. He grabs a tissue and wipes his nose and eyes. He then gets up and goes looking for Alex.  
  
The Holby theme tune starts as Ric bumps into Alex in the hall.  
  
Part 2  
  
Alex: You're in rather a hurry Ric.  
  
Ric: You don't know do you?  
  
Alex: (in his usual laughing and talking thing) Know what?  
  
Ric: You had best sit down, I know you were close.  
  
Alex looks up at Ric and sits down staring at Ric with a look of wondering in his eyes.  
  
Ric: Alex, Diane died this morning.  
  
Alex breaks down in tears.  
  
Alex: No!!!  
  
Ric: She was involved in a car accident and Tom operated on her, all went well until she had a bleed and died.  
  
Alex flung himself backwards on the chair and cried and screamed.  
  
Alex: No!!!!  
  
On Keller ward again..  
  
Kath: It's not the same around here without her smiling face saying good morning to you and walking around with Ric.  
  
Sandy: Do you reckon he's going to carry on working here?  
  
Kath: I really don't know Sandy, he could do.  
  
Chrissie: He wasn't really in the state for it yesterday was he?  
  
Kath: No, does any one know if he even went home?  
  
Ed: I just saw him, he's with Alex.  
  
Chrissie: Oh no, I forgot about Alex, he must be devastated.  
  
Kath: No one as bad as Ric.  
  
Kath smiled and runs her hand down Chrissies Arm and picked up a clipboard and went off to see some patients. Tom came through the swing doors looking slightly puffy eyed. Tom: That's the spirit, to carry on working and getting back to normal.  
  
Ed: It's hardly normal though Tom.  
  
Tom nods and goes into his office shortly followed by Ed.  
  
In the corridor with Alex and Ric.  
  
Ric: I'm going to have to get off home, my shift is over.  
  
Alex: I'm going home as well; I'm definitely not staying around here.  
  
Ric: Have you got your car?  
  
Alex: Yes, why?  
  
Tears carry on being produced in Alex's eyes, he brushes them back and stands tall.  
  
Ric: It's just; my car is at the accident.  
  
Alex: It was you that hit her?  
  
Alex's fist clenches up and his eyes become angry the tears begin to roll down his cheeks again.  
  
Ric: No! I found her; I had wondered why she wasn't at work and.  
  
Ric looks down at Alex's hand and backs off, Alex unclenches his fist and looks up into Ric's eyes. Seeing the truth he nods.  
  
Alex: I'll drive you home.  
  
Back on Keller ward.  
  
Sandy: Is Alex coming in today at all?  
  
Ed: He was in earlier, but he isn't coming back in, he has to prepare for the funeral this afternoon.  
  
Sandy: It's a shame I can't go  
  
Tom: Some people have to be here, we can't just shut down the whole of a hospital ward because one of our staff is..  
  
Tom begins to choke, tears that had built up in his eyes begin to fall, he always had a soft spot for Diane, now she was gone. Tom clears his throat.  
  
Tom: Dead.  
  
With that he walks off and shuts himself in the office again.  
  
Ed: I thought he was taking it well.  
  
Sandy: Obviously not.  
  
Chrissie walks over obviously annoyed.  
  
Chrissie: I know what has happened is terrible but we really must carry on working, it isn't good to be standing around chatting when we have patients to see.  
  
Sandy, Ed and Chrissie all split up and go off to do other things, Ed goes into Tom Campbell-Gores Office to find him crying.  
  
Tom: Don't you ever knock?  
  
Ed: Sorry.  
  
At Alex's Apartment.. (There is a sad song playing through all of this)  
  
Alex is sitting on the bed, a picture of Diane in his hand, tears spill from his eyes freely and splash all over the picture. He places it onto the side.  
  
At Ric's.  
  
Ric is getting out a black suit and smoothing it out onto his bed. He looks over to where Diane would often sleep and he stares silently at the empty bed.  
  
Alex's.  
  
Alex is putting on a black suit and straightening his tie, he looks into the mirror and sees Diane wearing a mans shirt laughing behind him in the mirror. He turns around and when he sees that she is not there he sits down on the chair nearby and cries.  
  
Ric's.  
  
Ric is looking at a picture of Diane and him at a party last year, he runs his hand over her and a tear splashes onto the glass frame.  
  
Keller ward, toms office. Tom is sitting at his desk going through old files his face a question and his eyes filled with un-cried tears.  
  
In the ward.  
  
Chrissie is sitting behind the desk thinking with silent tears rolling down her cheeks, she wipes her eyes and gets up and walks away the doors slamming behind her.  
  
The funeral.  
  
Vicar: Lauren, Diane's mother, would like to say a few words shortly followed by Ric.  
  
Lauren: Diane was always a curious child, as she grew up we always knew she would make us very proud.  
  
The camera shows Ric looking towards the floor with Jess squeezing his hand.  
  
Lauren: She lived a wonderful life as a surgeon and nothing ever got in her way.  
  
The camera then moves onto Alex, Kath has her arm around him and he is crying into his tissue. Small tears are escaping Kaths eyes.  
  
Lauren: She had some hurdles but she always made it over.  
  
The camera shows Tom Campbell-Gore performing surgery in Holby, crying and then throwing his mask on the floor and leaving surgery.  
  
Lauren: She was always a star here on earth, and she will carry on being a star now, remaining in our hearts and minds forever.  
  
The camera then shows Chrissie sitting in the café over a cup of coffee with Sandy, they are both crying silently with everything carrying on around them.  
  
Lauren suddenly bursts out into tears and runs down to her seat Ric places his arm around her and then walks up to the front.  
  
Ric: I have worked with Diane for many years and yes we had some hard times, but she was a brilliant Surgeon.  
  
Tears roll down his face and he tries to cover them up by pulling the paper infront of his face.  
  
Ric: All I know is that anyone that met her fell in love with her instantly.  
  
The camera moves onto Alex again who nods as Ric speaks.  
  
Ric: She was a wonderful person, full of energy and that could always relate to your problems and help you out.  
  
The camera shows Kath whose tears start to fall more often underneath her black hat.  
  
Ric: Goodbye Diane, the love of my life. I'm lost without you.  
  
The camera quickly shows Alex again who suddenly looks agitated.  
  
Alex: I would like to say a few words please.  
  
Alex goes up to the front the tears have stopped for the time being.  
  
Alex: Diane touched so many people's hearts and many will find it hard to go on.  
  
Tears start to fall down his now red cheeks as he finishes his speech.  
  
Alex: She will be greatly missed by everyone in Holby, she was such an amazing woman that had been through so much and still found time to help others.  
  
Alex steps down and goes back to his seat next to Kath, who instantly pulls him closer, they cry in each others arms. The whole of the Church is filled with sorrow and loneliness and the curtains close on the Body..  
  
An hour later in Ric's house.  
  
Ric and Jess go in and Jess goes into the spare room,  
  
Jess: Dad, are you ok? It's been such a bad few weeks.  
  
Ric: Yeah, I'm fine; I just need to be alone.  
  
Ric goes into his room and lays on the bed crying into his pillow, his hand feeling the emptiness beside him. Diane didn't often sleep there but he noticed her gone when she wasn't, and even more so now.  
  
Alex is laying on the floor of his apartment a bottle of pills laying open on the next to him, some of them scattered on the floor.  
  
The Holby theme tune as it circles out on Alex.  
  
Part 3.  
  
In Ric's.  
  
Ric lifted his head off the pillow, the sun was beaming through the curtains and he rolled over, he sees the empty space beside him and the tears brim in his eyes again. He sits up and looks over at the picture of Diane beside his bed a single tear rolls down his cheek and he gets up and crosses the room towards the room.  
  
Jess: Dad, is that you?  
  
Jess appears from the other bedroom looking tired and puffy eyed.  
  
Ric: Yeah.  
  
Jess: You're not going to work are you?  
  
Jess Grabs Ric's arm tightly and smiles.  
  
Ric: Just let me go, I need to get some things done.  
  
Ric loosens himself from her grip and goes into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.  
  
In Keller.  
  
Chrissie: Alex Adams, are you sure?  
  
Kath: I knew I should have stayed with him, is he all right?  
  
Chrissie: If laying in hospital fighting for your life is counted as all right.  
  
Sandy: Wow, I didn't know she meant so much to him.  
  
Chrissie: I think it was more than just her, they found pills for Parkinson's next to him, so not only does he risk loosing his life, but his job.  
  
Ric is sitting in his office.  
  
Tears are streaming down his face as he writes this, but he sees it as his only option;  
  
This is my Resignation, I feel that I cannot go on in this hospital any more, too many bad memories. I have been offered a job at the Hadlington and I have agreed to take it. I will be leaving next month. Ric Griffin.  
  
He picked up the note and folded it into his pocket. He placed his head into his arms once more and Cried.  
  
In Alex's ward.  
  
Tom: I thought we had lost you then.  
  
Alex's eyes flicker open in the light of the room.  
  
Alex: I'm sorry Tom.  
  
Tom: No need Mr. Adams.  
  
Alex: She meant a lot to me.  
  
Tom: She meant a lot to us all.  
  
Tom stares at Alex.  
  
Alex: That is not what you have come to talk about is it?  
  
Tom: Indeed not Mr. Adams.  
  
Alex: I have Parkinson's Tom.  
  
Alex looks down, tears streaming down his face as he smooths the sheets on his bed.  
  
Tom: It would be a shame if we lost you to that.  
  
Back in Ric's office.  
  
Kath: Ric are you ok?  
  
Ric: Not really, I cant stop thinking about Diane.  
  
The tears carried on spilling down onto his unwashed shirt.  
  
Kath: Ric, she's gone, but there is no reason to forget her.  
  
Ric: No, I know. Look, Kath, I'm handing in my resignation.  
  
Kath: You cant leave ok? She wouldn't want you to!  
  
Tears begin to fall gently down Kath's cheeks.  
  
Ric: What is there left here for me?  
  
Kath: Everything, you don't want to block out everything to do with Diane.  
  
Ric passes Kath his engagement ring.  
  
Kath: No, Ric.  
  
Ric: I want you to have it.  
  
Ric places the ring in her hand and closes her hand like she had for him. He then kissed her hand and walked off towards the swinging doors..  
  
Alex's Ward room.  
  
Alex sits up in bed and stares at the wall. He looks through the window towards the rain splashing down on the glass. He sighs and gets himself out of bed.  
  
Keller Ward.  
  
Ric walks out into the ward, everyone can tell he has been crying and many people look at him quickly. He goes up the stairs silently looking out the windows as he passes.  
  
On the roof.  
  
Ric walks across to the top of the roof and stares over the top, tears splashing down his face along with the rain. He turns to see Alex on the other side at the edge. Ric goes running over but its too late. Alex turns around.  
  
Alex: I love you DIANE!!!  
  
He plummets to the ground..  
  
The rain pours silently down on Alex laying on the ground the camera moving silently around him  
  
On the roof.  
  
Ric runs down the stairs almost falling down them, tears still falling down his face but there is a look of determination in his eyes.  
  
He arrives on Keller ward wet and tired Sandy turns her head as he slips into the ward.  
  
Ric: Alex has jumped! No questions! Chrissie come with me, Sandy find Ed and Tom and tell him to meet us in the car park quickly.  
  
Chrissie follows Ric quickly, the look of sorrow on her face, all anyone needs right now is another fatality.  
  
As they are running down the stairs.  
  
Chrissie: What was he doing on the roof?  
  
Ric: I don't know, I really should have been at home. I went up there to clear my head and he jumped.  
  
Chrissie: Was it the Parkinson's?  
  
Ric: I don't think so.  
  
Ric suddenly stops for a second and another tear tumbles down his face, Chrissie puts her arm around him and one onto her stomach, breathing heavily because of a stitch.  
  
Ric: He said he loved her... Let's get moving, we can't wait around here.  
  
Ric grabs Chrissie and goes flying down the stairs once more, you hear Tom coming down the stairs just behind them but Ric or Chrissie don't stop.  
  
Ric: Is that you tom?  
  
Tom: Rather Mr. Griffin, now that I am here you are allowed to go.  
  
Ric: I'm not leaving until I know that he's ok, he did this for Diane, not even I'm that crazy.  
  
Tom: Certainly Mr Griffin but it would be best that Chrissie would get back to the ward.  
  
Chrissie: I'm staying with Ric, Sandy can cope, Kath is with her.  
  
They reach the bottom of the stairs all out of breath and tired they stagger into the rain and head for Alex's body. There is a large pool of blood behind his head where his head cracked as it hit the ground, Alex is pale and lifeless. Ric jumps over to him and listens for breathing and then sticks a stethoscope to his chest.  
  
Ric: Still breathing but it is rather slow and his heart is weak, wont hold up for much longer.  
  
Tom: Thank you Mr. Griffin but I think I can take over from here.  
  
Tom rolls Alex over onto his front and surveys the damage.  
  
Tom: A rather large amount of blood lost but a few stitches will solve it, Chrissie, if you are here make yourself useful. Go into the box that I brought and find me some Sutures, and fast!  
  
Ric grabs Alex's arm and takes his blood pressure.  
  
Ric: he's tachycardic; we need to get him open soon!  
  
Tom: Lets sort out this head wound first, all in good time Mr. Griffin.  
  
Tom begins to stitch up Alex's head wound and then hoists Alex upwards.  
  
Tom: We will need to get him into Holby before we can do anything, we cant be sure of what has happened to him.  
  
Ric: We don't have enough time Tom, he'll bleed to death. Its most probably a broken bone or two, I'm assuming damage to the kidneys could have occurred as he fell quite hard onto his back.  
  
Tom: Of course Mr. Griffin, maybe a spinal injury?  
  
Tom lays Alex onto his back.  
  
Ric: Chrissie, do you want to stay?  
  
Chrissie: Sure, yeah, good experience and plus, I can give you whatever you need from his box.  
  
Tom: Ok Chrissie, I need a scalpel to open up.  
  
Chrissie hands Tom a scalpel.  
  
Ric: How are we going to scrub up, this is hardly hygienic.  
  
Tom: We cant, I have some clean gloves and that is best we can do, as you said yourself Mr. Griffin we cannot chance moving him.  
  
Ric nods and takes the gloves from Tom, his eyes are still lined with tears, the rain has stopped meaning that the tears have become more noticeable.  
  
Tom: Are you ready for this?  
  
Ric: Ready as ever, he jumped off for Diane, and we can't loose another of our treasured staff.  
  
Tears well in Ric and Chrissie's eyes, they both quickly wipe them away, Ric places on his gloves and nods towards Tom who then puts on his own.  
  
Tom: Let's open then, Chrissie would you kindly move that way a bit, your blocking out my light.  
  
Back on Keller.  
  
Sandy and Kath are doing their ward rounds, checking peoples boards and checking that they are ok.  
  
Kath: Yes, sorry sir, your operation is postponed, there has been an emergency.  
  
Kath turns to Sandy.  
  
Sandy: I can't believe Alex did it, he had all his life to live for.  
  
Kath: People deal with anger and grief in many ways Sandy.  
  
Sandy: He's mad to have done it though.  
  
Kath pulls one of the boards up to her chest and folds her arms around it she begins to walk away.  
  
Kath: Who are we to judge what he has done?  
  
Sandy smiles and goes up to one of the patients.  
  
Sandy: Are you ok Mrs. Parker?  
  
Mrs. Parker: No, why was my operation put off?  
  
Sandy: There was an emergency.  
  
Sandy leans closer to the woman.  
  
Sandy: One of the consultants was dealing with loosing a friend; he jumped off the roof.  
  
Mrs. Parker: The surgeons here are hardly reliable then are they? I am glad this surgeon was not operating on me then.  
  
Sandy smiles and checks her blood pressure..  
  
In the Car Park.  
  
Ric is closing up the operation tears still slowly cascading down his cheeks, Chrissie turns and smiles at him tenderly.  
  
Tom: Good work Mr. Griffin, we made a good team.  
  
Ric: Yeah, we did, I am glad we managed to save at least one of our staff.  
  
Ric gets up from kneeling on the floor and walks away throwing his gloves onto the car park floor. Chrissie goes to stand and Tom holds out his arm.  
  
Tom: Leave him Mrs Davis, he needs some time alone, he has not yet recovered from loosing Diane. Maybe now Alex has.  
  
In Maternity.  
  
Owen and Mubbs are walking down the corridor together.  
  
Owen: Chrissie is out in the Car park, Alex jumped off the roof.  
  
Mubbs: I would never love a woman that much.  
  
He smirks at Owen.  
  
Owen: You will never know true love will you Mubbs.  
  
They turn a corner in the corridor and go into Owens office.  
  
Mubbs: Ahh. You never know!  
  
Owen laughs at Mubbs who gives a rather offended look.  
  
Mubbs: I might have my eyes set on someone!  
  
Owen: Not Rosie by any chance?  
  
Mubbs smiles gingerly and leaves the office closing the door behind him, Owen laughs and runs his hands over his head.  
  
Owen sighs and picks up the phone..  
  
In Keller ward..  
  
Chrissie and Tom are wheeling Alex through the corridor.  
  
Tom: It's a shame that Ed isn't here; he would have enjoyed the operation.  
  
Chrissie: Where was Ed anyways?  
  
Tom: I'm not sure, he seems to have disappeared.  
  
Chrissie: No doubt off with some woman.  
  
Tom: I don't think so, not during working hours.  
  
Chrissie and Tom push Alex next to a bed, Tom pulls down the sides of the trolley.  
  
Tom: One two three and lift.  
  
Chrissie and Tom lift Alex onto the bed and Chrissie walks off with the trolley.  
  
Ed walks out of the pub, it is getting dark but his shift is not yet over, he enters Holby and goes up to Keller ward where he bumps into Tom.  
  
Tom: Ahh, Mr. Keating, so nice of you to finally join us.  
  
Ed: Sorry, Tom.  
  
Tom: Do I smell alcohol on your breath?  
  
Ed: I just had one Tom, I swear, I went to clear my head for a bit.  
  
Tom: You are now under the influence, I cannot allow you to work Mr. Keating, please go home and come back tomorrow with a positive attitude to work. Take a cab home, I cannot allow you to drive.  
  
Ed: It seriously was only one!  
  
Tom: And you will be working with me for a while, Alex is not in a condition to work, that will be all Mr. Keating.  
  
Ed looks at Tom weirdly and walks off down the Corridor, Chrissie goes up to Tom.  
  
Chrissie: what was all that about?  
  
Tom: Ed seems to have picked up a bad habit; he was at the bar across the street.  
  
Chrissie: Oh no, so you sent him home?  
  
Tom: Of course I did, do you want to go for a drink after work? Strictly no alcohol for me but, I'm sure you wouldn't mind a drink or two?  
  
Chrissie: I'm meant to be meeting Owen after work, but he doesn't end his shift till eight, so sure.  
  
Tom smiles and walks off, he turns around towards Chrissie  
  
Tom: Meet you over there at the end of our shift then.  
  
Chrissie: Meet back in your office.  
  
Tom nods and goes through the swinging doors.  
  
Ric is sitting in his office the curtains closed, his head is resting in his arms and he is twiddling his resignation note in his hands. He looks at a picture of Diane and him her kissing him on the cheek, he closes his hand and screws up the piece of paper. He then throws it into the bin and goes out through the door, its dark outside, time to go home.  
  
In Keller ward.  
  
Chrissie is finishing up her shift and puts some papers into a folder. She picks up her coat and bag and goes into Tom's office.  
  
Tom: I knew you were going to be here some time soon.  
  
Tom gets close to Chrissie; all the blinds are down in the room apart from the window in the door.  
  
He grabs her close and begins to kiss her, Chrissie pushes away.  
  
Chrissie: No Tom!  
  
He pushes papers off the desk and forces her onto the table where he begins to kiss her once again and unbuttons her first few buttons on her uniform.  
  
Outside the office Sandy is looking through the window on the door, she sees Chrissie with her hands on Toms shoulders and thinks that they are kissing.  
  
In the office..  
  
Chrissie pushes Tom away and jumps up off the desk buttoning her dress up again.  
  
Chrissie: I said no Tom!  
  
Tears roll down her cheeks. She sees sandy at the door and runs out, pushing sandy out of the way as she runs down the corridor, tears falling constantly.  
  
Sandy's eyes widen, staring at Tom, lipstick smeared across his mouth, she turns and runs down the corridor towards maternity.  
  
In Keller ward, Alex's ward..  
  
Alex's eyes slowly begin to open.  
  
Ric: Why did you do that Alex?  
  
Alex looks around the room to find Ric sitting at the far corner of the room.  
  
Alex: Ric, look, I loved her, and I know she loved you but I didn't think I could go on. I understand if you're mad but I also realise that you saved my life. Thank you.  
  
Ric: You have no reason to thank me Alex. And yes, Diane was a remacable woman and she would never have wanted you to end your life like that. I could have just left you as many a man might have done; I know you tried to steal Diane off me a couple of months back. But she saw you as a good friend, I did it for her.  
  
Alex: But I still have you to thank Ric.  
  
Ric: Thank Diane.  
  
Tears fall down the two men's cheeks and they sit silently crying over the loss of Diane, Ric then gets up and crosses the room and goes through the door silently and spots Tom across the ward, the lipstick now gone.  
  
Ric: He's awake, but go easy on him; he's had a hard life.  
  
Tom: I know it's not easy on you Ric, I know what he did to Jess.  
  
Ric nods and walks out of the Ward.  
  
In Maternity.  
  
Rosie and Mubbs are laying on Owens desk kissing passionately. Mubbs slowly un-does Rosie's top and throws her back wards further on the desk, leaning over her.  
  
Owen is standing at the desk in maternity sorting some files when Sandy bursts in, red in the face.  
  
Sandy: Owen, I just saw Chrissie and Tom in Tom's office. And lets just say they were doing more than just talking.  
  
Owen: How could she do this again! Owens face turns angry as he charges out of the ward and towards Keller where he finds Chrissie standing by the wall crying.  
  
Chrissie: Owen!  
  
Owen: Just tell me it's not true!  
  
Chrissie looks up into Owens's eyes and meets them exactly; she sees the anger in his face.  
  
Chrissie: He tried it on me Owen, he forced me onto the desk and.  
  
Owen: I don't believe you Chrissie, how can I when you have betrayed me so many times in the past.  
  
Chrissie: It's true I swear!  
  
Owen: go home and get your things, I'm sure your mum will have you back!  
  
Chrissie: Owen, PLEASE, NO!!!  
  
Tears trickle down Chrissies face and she slides down the wall hurt and deceit is in her eyes as she cries for her only love.  
  
Owen charges into maternity tears of anger escaping his eyes. As he reaches his office Rosie slips out looking rather embarrassed to see him. He opens the door and finds Mubbs, in his trousers slipping on his shirt and buttoning it up.  
  
Owen: Just get out of my site.  
  
Mubbs: Sorry Owen, I, we, I'm sorry!  
  
Mubbs rushes out of the office quickly and closes the door firmly behind him, not bothering to ask about the tears running down Owens face.  
  
Owen puts his head in his hands and breaths deeply; he suddenly reaches a decision and runs to the car park.  
  
There he meets Tom by his car as he expected, he pulls his arm back and punches him hard in the nose, sending Tom crashing into his car, blood pouring from his nose.  
  
The Holby theme tune starts as Tom feels his nose and begins to rise up slightly.  
  
Part 4  
  
Tom lifts his face up and stares into Owens angry eyes.  
  
Tom: I'm sorry Owen, I, I don't know what came onto me, she looked so beautiful and...  
  
Owen: I respected you Tom, I thought at least you would have some sense.  
  
Tom: Nothing happened, she pushed me off.  
  
Owen looks at Tom and rushes off to find Chrissie, after jumping into his car.  
  
At Owen's house.  
  
Owen meets chrissie on the stairs where he bares it off so she cannot get past.  
  
Owen: I'm sorry Chrissie!  
  
Tears stream down his cheeks and a look of sorrow and shame mixed together appear on his face.  
  
Chrissie: No Owen, you can't trust me!  
  
Owen: I'm sorry! Don't leave, I didn't know what happened I just, I didn't know what to think.  
  
Chrissie: Anyone could have told you that Sandy wouldn't tell you the truth!  
  
Owen: How did you know it was her?  
  
Chrissie: She saw it, I thought she knew what happened, he grabbed me, Owen, I thought she was going to get help!  
  
Owen: Chrissie, I'm so sorry.  
  
Chrissie breaks down in tears and falls into Owen's arms where he put his arms around her and pulled her closer.  
  
Chrissie: I wouldn't make the mistake of an affair again, Owen, I thought you would know that!  
  
In Keller Ward..  
  
Sandy is sitting at the desk and Kath walks past and notices her crying.  
  
Kath: We have had enough tears round here to last a lifetime, Whats wrong Sandy?  
  
Sandy: I saw Chrissie and Tom together in the office, I told Owen and I am afraid he might have hurt her.  
  
Kath looks sympathetically at Sandy and takes her hand.  
  
Kath: I'm sure he didn't, Owen is that kind of guy, do you know what happened?  
  
Sandy: I'm not sure if Chrissie wanted it or not, I keep thinking over it.  
  
Kath: Come and have a drink, you look like you need it.  
  
Kath places her arm around Sandy and leads her off towards the doors but just at that moment she bumps into Ric.  
  
Kath: Sandy you go ahead, I'll be there in a minute.  
  
Sandy goes off through the doors and Kath takes Ric's arm.  
  
Kath: how are things going?  
  
Ric: Not well, I'm not resigning though, I just realised what a difference you can make to people, Alex had made a big mistake.  
  
Kath: Look me and Sandy were just going for a drink, I think you should come along. You know, for a bit of a drink and maybe a relax.  
  
Ric nods and Kath leads him out.  
  
In the bar.  
  
Tom is sitting at the bar alone when Anita comes in.  
  
Anita: I hope your not thinking of drinking.  
  
Tom lifts his glass.  
  
Tom: Purely coke.  
  
Anita: What happened to your nose.  
  
Tom: Just an angry patient.  
  
He pulls his hand over his cut nose and looks down at his glass, tapping his fingers on it.  
  
Anita: I can tell when people are telling the truth or not and you, Tom, are not.  
  
Tom: It was a colleague of mine; his wife had tried something with me.  
  
Anita sighs she can tell he is not telling the truth still, she gets up and leaves the room without another word.  
  
At Owens.  
  
Owen: It's ok Chrissie.  
  
He pushes her hair out of her face as she has her face rested in his lap the tears gluing her hair to her wet face.  
  
Chrissie: How can I go back to work?  
  
Owen: It'll be fine, he won't try anything again, I promise.  
  
Chrissie: I wish Diane was still here, she was brilliant with this kind of stuff.  
  
Another batch of tears begin to fall down Chrissies face and onto Owens trousers.  
  
Owen: Ohh, Chrissie!  
  
He wipes her eyes with his finger, gently catching the tears and stroking her forehead smiling gently into her wide eyes.  
  
In the bar.  
  
Kath, Ric and Sandy are sitting drinking wine at a table.  
  
Ric: This drink is for Diane, she always loved sitting with the people she cared about and having fun.  
  
Kath and Sandy raise their glasses with Ric.  
  
Kath, Sandy: Diane.  
  
Ric: Diane!  
  
The three sip gently from their glasses sadness filling them all, Diane will never be forgotten in Holby.  
  
The next morning in Chrissie and Owens room.  
  
Owen is lying in bed looking out of the window, you hear Chrissie being Sick into the toilet in the bathroom.  
  
Owen: Chrissie! Are you ok?  
  
Chrissie: No, not really, I have been sick all morning.  
  
Owen: When we get to work I can get someone to check you over, you don't look well at all.  
  
Chrissie: I'm sure its nothing, I'll probably be better later.  
  
She appears from the bathroom her face quite pale and her hair pulled back untidily.  
  
Owen: I'm going to get you checked over anyway, I'll drop you off with Lisa, she will surely check you over.  
  
At Ric's.  
  
Ric is taking a shower and listening to the radio a sad song comes on and he stops obviously thinking of Diane. The moment soon passes and he gets out of the shower and ties the towel around his waist feeling his head.  
  
In Holby.  
  
Lisa sits Chrissie on the bed and Owen walks off to work.  
  
Chrissie: Honestly, Lisa, its nothing, I was just a little sick this morning.  
  
Lisa: He just cares about you, a urine sample might clear things up for us.  
  
Lisa hands Chrissie a cup with a smile.  
  
Lisa: I will leave you to it.  
  
On Keller Ward.  
  
Kath: Have you seen Tom, Sandy?  
  
Sandy: Ah yes, now I remember, Tom said to tell you that he was taking the day off. Something to do with Owen...  
  
Kath: Oh no, we are so short of staff it's unbelievable, what does he think he's playing at?  
  
Sandy: Mr Dericharty is coming in to replace Tom today; he was called last night so he should be here soon.  
  
Kath: good, at least there can be some operations done today! Back with Lisa and Chrissie.  
  
Lisa: The results are in, Chrissie, your pregnant.  
  
Chrissie looks puzzled and tears spring into her eyes, but are not enough to fall.  
  
Chrissie: What? Its only been about 4 months since Amanda died.. Why so soon?  
  
Lisa sits down on the bed next to Chrissie.  
  
Lisa: I know, it's going to be hard, what are you going to do?  
  
Chrissie: I dunno, I guess I'm going to have to speak to Owen.  
  
Lisa: Sure.  
  
She smiles at Chrissie and gets up off the bed, rubs Chrissie's arm and walks off to see some other patients.  
  
Chrissie gets up off the bed and walks off to maternity, her legs shaky from the shock of it all. She smiles at Jess as she walks past.  
  
Chrissie: Is Ric in today?  
  
Jess: Yeah, I think so.  
  
Chrissie nods and walks off silently.  
  
In Maternity.  
  
Rosie's husband is standing in the doorway with Mubbs And Rosie standing inside next to Owen.  
  
(husband): Rosie, how could you?  
  
Rosie: I'm sorry!  
  
Tears are falling down Rosie's face as she stares up at Her husband begging him to take her back.  
  
Mubbs: It was an accident, We, well, I came on to her.  
  
(husband): Don't speak to me Either of you, I hope your happy with your new man Rosie.  
  
Rosie: No, Wait!!  
  
He walks out of the office after shooting a sharp look towards Mubbs, he is closely followed by Owen though.  
  
Owen: Wait.  
  
He turns around and stares into Owen's eyes.  
  
(husband): Yes? I am a very busy man.  
  
Owen: My wife was unfaithful to me once, but I took her back, it can often be a mistake, listen to her, because some don't get the chance to get them back. What about your children?  
  
(husband): How could she do that to me? I have worked hard for our family and this is how she repays me. It was obvious she liked him.  
  
Owen: Mubbs gets everyone, he is a very persuading guy! Just give her a chance, talk to her, I will get Mubbs out of there.  
  
Chrissie comes running down the corridor, tears streaming down her face.  
  
Owen: Wait a minute.  
  
Owen puts his arm around Chrissie and takes her aside.  
  
Owen: What happened, did he try it on you again?  
  
Chrissie: No.  
  
Chrissie sniffs between most words, or gulps.  
  
Chrissie: I. Just found out.. that I'm. Oh Owen, I'm pregnant! I don't know what to do, I'm afraid of forgetting Amanda.  
  
Owen: you will never forget Amanda, you have a while to think, take the day off, go home, relax and think.  
  
Chrissie nods, Owen bends forward and kisses her and she walks off down the corridor, He turns around to find Rosie's husband gone.  
  
At Owen's.  
  
Chrissie enters the house tired and upset, she enters the kitchen to find Tom standing in the kitchen making a cup of tea.  
  
Tom: I knew you would be home some time soon. I just want to apologise. Chrissie: Get out!  
  
She pushes him into the counter hard and kicks him in the groin.  
  
Tom: Just give me a chance, Chrissie.  
  
Chrissie: NO!! Get out or I'm calling the police.  
  
Tom grabs Chrissie on the arms and begins to bring her down to the floor, he has had a drink and his face looks gaunt and unreal for Tom.  
  
The door slams and Owen runs into the Kitchen to find Tom and Chrissie.  
  
Owen: Get off her!  
  
Owen Grabs Tom and throws him outside, he locks the door behind him and rushes over to Chrissie and helps her up.  
  
Owen: Chrissie, are you all right, did he hurt you?  
  
Chrissie: Yeah I'm fine; you got here just in time.  
  
Owen: What about the baby?  
  
Chrissie: I'm sure everything will be fine.  
  
She falls into his arms and remains crying in his arms shaking from terror. The camera Circles them and the Holby theme tune starts once more.  
  
Part 5  
  
Chrissie rolls over in bed her arm hitting Owen hard on the face. Owens eyes open wide and he turns to look at Chrissie.  
  
Owen: What's wrong Chrissie?  
  
Chrissie: I think the baby is coming!  
  
Owen stares into her big blue eyes and sees the truth in them. He sits up and pushes the covers aside.  
  
Owen: What are we waiting for then?  
  
Chrissie: I don't think I can do this; it's like loosing Amanda all over again.  
  
Owen puts his arm around Chrissies shoulder and pulls her close.  
  
Owen: I'm going to be with you all the way, just get up and dressed and we will get you into maternity.  
  
Chrissie nods and pulls herself to her feet, Owen smiling all the way.  
  
At the hospital.  
  
Chrissie and Owen are walking into maternity when they spot Mubbs.  
  
Mubbs: We have been expecting you Chrissie.  
  
Chrissie: (sarcastically) so glad to see you!  
  
Mubbs smiles and helps Chrissie onto the bed.  
  
Mubbs: How frequent are the contractions?  
  
Chrissie: Pretty damn frequent!  
  
Owen: Calm down Chrissie, its going to be ok.  
  
Chrissie holds her hand to her stomach and begins to sigh with pain and tears spring to her eyes.  
  
Owen: What's the matter?  
  
Chrissie: I'm sure it's fine, it just really hurts.  
  
Mubbs: Lay back, I would rather just check.  
  
Owen: What is it?  
  
Blood is lying on the sheets underneath Chrissie who begins now to panic.  
  
Mubbs: We need to get her in for a C-section now! Page theatre for me, Owen, just wait here one minute.  
  
Chrissie is taken off towards surgery.  
  
Mubbs: I'm worried about her, if anything goes wrong, promise to take over?  
  
Owen nods and Mubbs leads him off towards surgery.  
  
Chrissie is laying on the table as Mubbs slowly opens her stomach with a scalpel blood begins to run slightly down her stomach.  
  
Mubbs pulls out a baby and hands it over to a woman who begins to try and get the baby to breath.  
  
There is a long beeping sound as Chrissies heart monitor begins to flat line.  
  
Mubbs: There is a huge bleed here, I can't see where it's coming from, there's too much blood.  
  
Owen stands awe struck by Chrissie's hand.  
  
Mubbs: Owen!  
  
Owen stays immobile as he watches the baby being revived.  
  
Mubbs: Owen, HELP!  
  
Owen looks up and rushes over to where Mubbs is, letting Chrissies hand fall lifelessly down at the side.  
  
Owen: There is blood everywhere, how much has been lost?  
  
Mubbs: Over 4 pints, there is nothing we can do any more Owen.  
  
Owen grabs the side of the trolley as he falls to the floor; the baby begins to cry loudly in the background..  
  
On Keller ward.  
  
Sandy: Chrissie has had her baby!  
  
Kath: Does any one know what it is?  
  
Sandy: There has been no news.  
  
Kath: I'm just happy that she has finally got what she wants.  
  
Sandy: Maybe then she might lighten up a little.  
  
Kath smiles at Sandy who then picks up some paper work as Kath begins to talk to a relative of a patient.  
  
Back in maternity.  
  
Owen is sitting against a wall in the corridor tears streaming down his face, Mubbs comes up beside him and places his hand on his shoulder.  
  
Owen: I. I. just stood there. and.. And didn't do anything!  
  
Mubbs: You tried your best Owen, you really did!  
  
Owen looks down at the floor the tears steadily crashing to the floor.  
  
Mubbs: Do you want to see him?  
  
Mubbs gestures towards SCBU but Owen shakes his head solemnly.  
  
Owen: Not now Mubbs... Maybe later but I want to see Chrissie first.  
  
Mubbs nods and leads Owen into a private room; Chrissie is lying on the bed her eyes shut peacefully her arms laying beside her and the sun beaming down on her from the window above.  
  
Mubbs: I will leave you alone.  
  
He leaves Owen alone in the room, Owen walks up to Chrissie and strokes the hair from her face tears streaming down his face. He lifts her hand and places it in his, stoking it softly.  
  
Owen: Chrissie, I'm. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for being a terrible husband... I'm sorry for not being there for you. I. I want to say that I love you. I will forever and for always.. (Shuts his eyes) We have a baby boy. He's beautiful, just like you.  
  
He stands, places her hand back onto the bed and walks out of the room the swinging doors slamming behind him.  
  
On Keller ward.  
  
Kath comes down the ward her eyes lined with glistening tears as she walks over to Sandy who is sitting doing some paper work.  
  
Kath: Sandy, Chrissie, she. She, well. She died there were. complications with the birth...  
  
Sandy turns to Kath a look of terror on her face.  
  
Sandy: I. I never meant. what I said earlier. about. her not nagging me. Every one is dying. First Diane, we got over that slowly and now.. Chrissie. I was always so. horrible to her.  
  
Kath places her arm tenderly on Sandy's shoulder.  
  
Kath: You weren't to know, Sandy, it's been said now, but I know that. that you really did care about her.  
  
Sandy sniffs and places her head into her hand, a part of her brown hair falling downwards covering her face. A tear splashes onto the paper work that she had been doing.  
  
Kath: Oh, Sandy!  
  
Kath kneels down and puts her arms around Sandy, they cry into each others arms, patients walk by slowly staring at them.  
  
At Owens.  
  
Owen sits on the couch, the TV is on in front of him but his mind is elsewhere. He looks down at the tiny baby in his arms and pulls him closer.  
  
Owen: You look like her.  
  
Tears rumble down his face ending at his collar, the moment is then spoilt by the door bell ringing. Owen looks up and places his son in the cot beside the TV and goes over to the door.  
  
Outside in the rain stands Tricia the tears falling, her face a mirage of wet.  
  
Tricia: She's really gone, Owen!  
  
Owen nods and pulls Tricia in from the cold. He places her onto the couch and goes into the kitchen.  
  
He comes out with a cup of tea and places it on the coffee table.  
  
Owen: I'm sorry Tricia; I just didn't react quickly enough. I didn't mean for it to happen.  
  
Tricia pulls her cup forwards on the table concentrating on the swirling of the white on top.  
  
Tricia: It wasn't your fault Owen.  
  
Tricia looks at the cradle and closes her eyes the last few tears streaming down her face as she faces her head downwards at her legs.  
  
Owen: I knew what she wanted to call him.  
  
She looks up and towards the cradle a small ray of hope shining through her tears.  
  
Tricia & Owen: Daniel.  
  
They look towards each other.  
  
Owen: She told you?  
  
Tricia: She always knew what she wanted them to be called, even as a young child. She was always very headstrong.  
  
Tricia places her hands down on the sofa and lifts herself up. She walks silently over to the cradle and places her arm on the side and looks lovingly down onto Daniel. She gulps and closes her eyes and then continues to look at the new born boy.  
  
Tricia: Hello Daniel. My one and only grandson.  
  
The tears still spill from her eyes at the thought of the only grandson she will ever have. She places her arms into the Cradle and raises out a sleeping Daniel. She walks over to Owen and sits next to him on the couch. They both stare into his sleeping face.  
  
Tricia: She reminds me of Chrissie.  
  
Owen nods and takes his small hand around his finger.  
  
Owen: He is gorgeous, just like her.  
  
Tricia looks into his face and then looks back at the baby, pulling his small head up a little.  
  
Tricia: He reminds me of you, Owen, I see his face in you.  
  
Owen looks down upon the baby and smiles the tears beginning to slow in their fall.  
  
Tricia: I didn't want to bring this up. but I wanted to ask you about the funeral.  
  
Tricia sniffs as a tear escapes her tired eyes; Owen looks at her and nods silently.  
  
Owen: I'll get it arranged for next week. She wanted a small affair; we didn't talk about it much. I always assumed she would live forever.  
  
Tricia nods and walks over to the cradle placing the sleeping Daniel Softly back into his cradle her eyes brimming with joy and sorrow all at once.  
  
In Keller Ward.  
  
Ed comes down the corridor the life has left him as he enters the ward, it is quiet and only Sandy sits at the desk, tears still silently falling from her eyes. She looks up at the sound of footsteps and sees Ed who stands behind her chair.  
  
Sandy: I was just thinking.  
  
Ed: It's the quiet time when you think of people the most.  
  
Sandy looks up into his eyes and senses the pain and hurt inside him.  
  
Ed: I loved her once, but that was so long ago now, it's hard to recall the exact feeling.  
  
Sandy smiles and stands up beside him.  
  
Sandy: She would be glad to know that so many people cared about her.  
  
Sandy raises her hand to her eyes and runs out of the ward, crying all the way. Ed sighs and sits down in her empty chair and spots Chrissie's nurses badge. He picks it up and runs his fingers along it, its dark but you can just see all that it holds. He pulls it close to him and runs his thumb down her picture the tears that were held back begin to gush out at once. He cries quite loudly in the empty ward, all those that are there are fast asleep.  
  
On maternity.  
  
Lisa had stopped by to see how things were; she had heard the news and was devastated. She is in one of the delivery rooms with Mubbs who has his arm around her.  
  
Lisa: I just don't believe it, she was a close friend of mine. I just pushed her away over something stupid.  
  
Mubbs: Hey, don't blame yourself, she knew how much you cared about her, it was obvious that you wanted to talk to her.  
  
Lisa closes her eyes briefly allowing a single tear escape her eyes. Mubbs pulls her closer but Lisa pulls away.  
  
Lisa: I. I... I don't know what to... do.  
  
Mubbs: Her funeral is going to be soon, I'm sure you will be invited.  
  
Lisa nods, closing her eyes once more, she suddenly looks up.  
  
Lisa: What about the baby?  
  
Mubbs: He's with Owen; I think Tricia is there too.  
  
Lisa: oh. at least he is with his dad.  
  
Mubbs smiles and squeezes Lisa's arm before turning away and through the doors leaving Lisa to cry into a tissue.  
  
The camera zooms out and the Holby theme tune starts.  
  
Part 6.Chrissie's funeral.  
  
Owen looks down at the grave as it is lowered into the ground.  
  
Owen: Amen.  
  
Tears flow feely down his face as he throws some dirt onto the grave; Tricia runs her hand down his arm and throws in a single red rose.  
  
Owen looks up at the sky, the sun is bright and the day would have been nice if it was not such a gloomy occasion. He walks off towards his car, not able to look back any further.  
  
Tricia comes up behind him and places her hand on his shoulder.  
  
Tricia: It's ok Owen.  
  
Tom Campbell- Gore's car drives up on the road outside and he gets cautiously out of his car and walks to the back of the congregation. Owen looses his temper and runs over to him. Tricia knows what happens and follows him.  
  
Tricia: He's not worth it Owen, leave him!  
  
Owen catches up with Tom and looks fiercely into his eyes.  
  
Owen: Your right, he's not worth it.  
  
He looks down on him, his eyes filled with rage.  
  
Owen: How do you have the nerve to turn up here?  
  
Ed places his arm out and looks between Tom and Owen.  
  
Ed: What's going on.  
  
Owen looks around at his friends, relatives and colleagues and finally at Tricia, she has fell silent, a look of worry on her face.  
  
Owen: Do you know what HE did to her? He attacked her! So why does he have rights to be at this funeral! I look down and pity men as pathetic as him.  
  
Kath places her hand on Owens shoulder as a sign of understanding but Owen shrugs it off and heads back to his car, the tears still falling from his eyes..  
  
At the Wake. (Lost without you, Delta Goodrem is playing)  
  
Tricia stands in the corner tears silently falling from her face; she pulls a tissue to her eyes and wipes them away.  
  
Alex sits on the sofa looking down into his hands rubbing them together; he suddenly stands and walks into the bathroom.  
  
Owen twiddles Chrissie's clothes in his hands while standing above Daniels Cradle a tear drops down onto the material and Owen pulls it to his face and breathes in the smell.  
  
Tom sits in his car, running his hands through his hair silently; he never meant to hurt her. He lifts the keys out of the ignition and watches the birds flying around ahead.  
  
Tom: I'm sorry Chrissie.  
  
(music stops)  
  
Today ("Today is always here, tomorrow, never.")  
  
Sandy is sitting at a table alone and it zooms in past her to see Nic standing at the back of the restaurant. A ring is in his hand and he looks down on it and smiles.  
  
Waiter: Will you be wanting a table on your own sir.  
  
Nic: I have company over there.  
  
Nic breathes in deeply and walks over to the awaiting Sandy who turns towards him as he sits down.  
  
Sandy: I thought you weren't coming!  
  
Nic: I'm sorry Sandy, I had to sort some things out with Lisa about you moving out.  
  
Sandy: What? She's kicking me out again!  
  
Sandy suddenly looks alarmed she leans slightly forward her hair staying neatly in place all but two strands at the front of her head. Nic places his hand on hers and smiles into her face his eyes gleaming with anticipation.  
  
Nic: No Sandy, this is kind of hard for me but.  
  
Nic slides off his chair, Sandy's eyes follow him as he stands and slowly bends onto one knee, her eyes suddenly widen and tears of joy spring up.  
  
Nic: Sandy, will you marry me?  
  
Sandy looks into his beautifully blue eyes as he produces a gorgeous diamond ring, Sandy, lost for words, nods delicately and he slips the ring onto her finger.  
  
Nic: I love you Sandy, you will move in with me wont you?  
  
Sandy: I don't know what to say!  
  
Nic: Just say you will.  
  
Sandy: I will.  
  
Sandy takes his hand and the newly engaged couple pull together and kiss passionately beside the table..  
  
Keller Ward..  
  
Sandy is standing next to Kath, she has her hand over the ring and as Kath brushes past she sees the diamond and pulls Sandy's hand aside.  
  
Kath: Wow, Sandy! Why didn't you tell us?  
  
Sandy: I didn't want to make a fuss.  
  
Kath: Oh, Sandy, I'm so happy for you.  
  
Kath smiles and squeezes Sandy's hand delicately and Sandy looks down towards the floor.  
  
Kath: What's wrong Sandy? I thought you would be over the moon!  
  
Sandy shuffles slightly in her shoes and then looks up to meet Kath's kind eyes.  
  
Sandy: I'm Pregnant Kath, and I don't know what to tell him.  
  
Kath: Doesn't that make things easier.  
  
Sandy: No, Kath, it makes things so much worse.  
  
Ric strolls over to the talking women and places his hand upon Sandy's shoulder.  
  
Ric: I'm sure you would love to stand around and chat ladies but Mr Halferim needs his bedpan changed and I would rather it got done before he has to go for surgery.  
  
Sandy nods at her cue and strolls off towards the ward. She stops at an old man lying in bed and smiles and puts her hand out to take his bed pan.  
  
Mr Halferim: Is someone getting married, Nurse?  
  
Sandy smiles and looks towards her hand then she nods and turns around to put the bed pan on the side.  
  
Mr Halferim: What a lucky man, if only I was 30 odd years younger.  
  
Sandy: Was that a proposal Mr Halferim?  
  
Mr Halferim: Please, call me Barry.  
  
She smiles and replaces the pan.  
  
Sandy: Ok then, Barry, I will see you later!  
  
She walks off and stands by the desk going through some files, Kath places her hand on Sandy's shoulder who turns towards Kath and nods.  
  
Sandy: I'll tell him tonight, when I move into his, we are having a special Dinner.  
  
Kath: Just make sure to bring it up, Sandy, you know what keeping secrets can do!  
  
Sandy looks down at the floor and Kath strokes her shoulder gently and then walks off towards the swinging doors.  
  
At Nic's new apartment.  
  
Sandy is walking around the large studio flat; it is beautifully furnished with modern, blue and white furniture, with a small amount of silver in there too.  
  
Sandy: Its beautiful Nic, but how can we afford this?  
  
Nic walks over behind Sandy and places his arms around her holding her hands that are hanging by her side and pulling them close to her chest.  
  
Nic: We can afford it, if we try really hard, I can do some extra work if I have to.  
  
Sandy smiles and pulls his hand over to the couch and places him onto the couch, she leans over him and he pulls her close kissing her.  
  
Ric is standing with Kath in the corridor in Keller ward, it is dark and they are just leaving and she holds him back.  
  
Kath: Ric, wait.  
  
Ric turns and stares at her.  
  
Kath: Sandy's in a bit of trouble, I'm not sure that she's going to do the right thing.  
  
Ric nods and looks into Kath's eyes awaiting the rest of what she is about to say.  
  
Kath: She's pregnant, and I don't think she's going to tell Nic, I think she's going to terminate.  
  
Ric: There is no stopping someone when there mind is set, Kath, you should know that.  
  
Kath: But you have been through all this before, with.  
  
Kath looks towards the floor, everyone still missed Diane even if she was not much spoken of, and if she did, it hurt too much to ever say more than a few words.  
  
Ric: Diane.. Look, I will talk to her,  
  
Kath smiles and goes to walk out of the doors, Ric holds out his arm and bars her leaving.  
  
Ric: Kath, I can't promise you anything.  
  
Kath nods and Ric removes his arm and Kath slips past him and out through the doors but not before taking one last glimpse of Ric who was still standing in the corridor.  
  
Sandy rolls over in bed and places her hand onto Nic's shoulder.  
  
Sandy: Nic, I wanted to tell you earlier, I'm.  
  
She looks into Nic's face and realises that he is sleeping soundly beside her, she leans forward and places her arm around him and puts her head into his bare back.  
  
On Keller ward.  
  
Ric approaches Sandy carefully as she is walking up to maternity and places a hand on her shoulder, she jumps and turns quickly to see Ric behind her.  
  
Sandy: Ric, I was just.. err.. I was.  
  
Ric raises an eyebrow at Sandy who looks down to the floor tears brimming in her large brown eyes. He places his hand under her chin and lifts in gently to look him in the eye.  
  
Ric: Kath told me Sandy, I just wanted to see if you were going to do something you might regret.  
  
Sandy: Ric, it's not Nic's, how can I marry him knowing that I had been unfaithful and was carrying someone else's child?  
  
Ric: Terminations. They aren't always the best way to go Sandy, I would think that you might have learnt that with all that has gone on within the last year.  
  
Sandy: I haven't decided what I'm doing yet, ok?  
  
Ric nods and pats Sandy on the arm uncomfortable at the situation. Sandy walks off towards maternity, not having had a change in heart.  
  
She walks over to Mubbs and waits by his side.  
  
Mubbs: I'm busy, Sandy, what is it?  
  
Sandy: I need to talk to you  
  
Mubbs looks over to Owen who he had been previously talking to.  
  
Owen: Go on then, but I need to talk to you after Mubbs.  
  
Mubbs takes Sandy into a private room and sets her down. He smiles at Sandy and sits onto the bed next to her.  
  
Mubbs: What's up? You haven't come to see me to flash that off have you.  
  
He laughs and gestures towards Sandy's hand.  
  
Sandy: Mubbs, I'm pregnant and... I'm thinking of having an abortion.  
  
Mubbs: Does Nic know?  
  
Sandy shakes her head violently tears streaming down her face she takes her hand to her knee and holds it there.  
  
Sandy: He mustn't know!  
  
Mubbs: Maybe you should take some time to think this over; we need to give you a scan first anyways.  
  
Sandy lays back onto the bed and Mubbs gets up.  
  
Mubbs: If you could just lift up your top for me..  
  
In Keller..  
  
Kath spots Ric coming out of surgery and grabs his arm and pulls him aside.  
  
Ric: Kath, I have to go and see some relatives.  
  
Kath: I just need to know about Sandy.  
  
Ric: I'm guessing she hasn't told him, she wants a termination, and there is nothing we can do to change her mind. She has to make that decision herself, which is what you have to learn Kath.  
  
Kath's hand drops down Ric's arm as he walks off towards the relative's room.  
  
In AAU.  
  
Lisa: So, Nic how is your new apartment then?  
  
Nic: Its nice thanks, Lisa.  
  
Jess: You know, you're not married yet.  
  
Jess walks up to Nic and grabs his collar pulling herself close to him swinging around battering her huge brown eyes. Nic pulls himself from Jess's grip and smiles at her.  
  
Nic: But I AM engaged.  
  
Lisa: Yeah, Jess, leave the man alone, there are plenty more cute guys in Holby left for us.  
  
Lisa and Jess start giggling and Nic walks off to see some patients while Lisa and Jess carry on talking wildly laughing their heads off.  
  
Sandy walks out of maternity and goes off towards Keller ward, she walks through the doors and Kath and Ric spot her immediately, Ric ties up some loose ends with a patient and walks over, closely followed by Kath.  
  
Kath: Sandy, what happened?  
  
Ric: Are you ok?  
  
Sandy shrugs them off, walks away and goes over to some patients to keep herself busy.  
  
Kath: I'm worried about her.  
  
Ric: Me too. but Kath, just leave her to make her own decision, because you can't have her blaming you if she makes the wrong one.  
  
Kath nods and walks off towards Mr Halferim.  
  
Mr Halferim: What happened to that nurse that was here yesterday?  
  
Kath: She's busy at the moment, so I'm afraid, you're stuck with me.  
  
Mr Halferim: Don't be, as long as I get service with a smile.  
  
Kath laughs and wraps the blood pressure thing around his arm and checks it.  
  
Kath: It's slightly high, so take it easy please Mr Halferim.  
  
He nods and Kath walks off..  
  
In AAU.  
  
Lisa: Are you coming for a drink after work, Nic, you know, to celebrate your engagement?  
  
Jess: Come on, Nic, only one?  
  
Nic smiles and looks down at his watch.  
  
Nic: She's not off until 11, so I guess so, just a quick one.  
  
Lisa: It will have to be more than that, its celebration Nic!  
  
Sandy sits alone in a chair in the hallway of Keller ward, in the background is Tomorrow by Avril Lavigne. (Up until the end of the chorus)  
  
She looks down at her stomach and runs her hand along it, catching the glint from the diamond in the dark room. Tears flow from her eyes, she plays with the ring on her finger she looks up at the clock that shows it as 10:30 her eyes search over the dark ward and she allows herself to fall back further in the chair and sob silently over her heart-wrenching decision. She places her hand to her mouth; the fingers are laced as she cries into them. To keep a baby that proves her unfaithfulness to Nic or to abort a part of herself. She couldn't help but wonder how different she could feel about things in the future and how she could change her mind so easily.  
  
She gets up and crosses the ward as the clock strikes 11 the doors swinging silently shut behind her..  
  
Holby theme tune.  
  
A month later, the wedding.  
  
Sandy rolls over in bed her hair sticking up all over the place and her hand pulls the quilts closer around her. Kath comes into the room as Sandy begins to open her eyes to the light room.  
  
Kath: Morning sleepy head.  
  
Sandy sits up dragging the covers closer around her body so as not to show anything she looks around and then over to the wedding dress hanging on the wardrobe.  
  
Kath: How are you feeling?  
  
Sandy: I'm fine, I'm just tired.  
  
Kath: That party was rather wild last night, but you can't complain about a hang over can you, you didn't touch a drop.  
  
Sandy: And we both know why.  
  
Kath smiles lightly at Sandy and takes some makeup from her bag and places it onto the side heating up some curling tongs in the process.  
  
Kath: I will leave you to get yourself dressed while I make breakfast, then I will do your makeup and hair.  
  
Sandy Nods and Kath leaves the room closing the door firmly behind her. Sandy looks up at the pictures on the wall of Nic and his family and she looks suddenly sad. She begins to lift herself up from bed..  
  
Ric stands above Nic who is sleeping in a very uncomfortable position on the sofa in Ric's house. He shakes Nic slightly until he begins to stir from a deep sleep. Nic raises a hand to his head and a glass comes into focus before him some Alka-Seltzer being thrown into it.  
  
Ric: That should cure last night before your wedding, I told you to be careful.  
  
Nic: I don't know why I went so mad with the drink, those dancers sure were persuasive.  
  
Ric: they were if they managed to get you to let them stay, it's your own stag night and all you can do is sit in the corner.  
  
Nic: And you have been any better at any of yours.  
  
Ric: Yes, maybe you shouldn't take my advice.  
  
Nic: Maybe not.  
  
The two men laugh and Nic sits up and takes the glass from the table and knocks it back quickly and afterwards winces at the taste. Ric pats Nic on the back causing him to splutter as he goes to get Nic's suit from the bedroom.  
  
Sandy walks out of the bedroom her hair curled and put up beautifully and neatly her white dress flowing gracefully down by her sides, her make up is done perfectly and she smiles at Lisa and Jess who are waiting in the living room of Nic and Sandy's flat.  
  
Sandy: I'm just going to go into the gardens for a walk, I need to think.  
  
Kath looks towards her anxiously but being able to say nothing, she allows Sandy to pass them all and go out into the gardens of the flats.  
  
Ric and Nic turn up at the church a small gathering of people has already developed, many of them colleagues of the couple. They step out of the car and make their way up to the church. Standing at the entrance looking nervous is Kath who is biting her lip.  
  
Nic: Were you not meant to be with Sandy?  
  
Kath: She went out for a walk; we think she will be getting a taxi up here.  
  
Ric gives a furtive glance towards Kath who closes her eyes for a few seconds in reply.  
  
Nic: We can wait for her.  
  
Sandy walks across the park, the place of her first date with Nic. She stands looking around her and sits onto a Bench her dress spreading out around her. She places her head into her hands and silent tears roll down her nervous cheeks.  
  
Back at the Church Nic stands at the alter checking his watch the Vicar looks slowly across the congregation and then bends close to Nic,  
  
Vicar: I'm sorry Mr Yorke but we will have to make this some other time, I have a christening soon.  
  
Nic: Wait, I know where she could be.  
  
Nic rushes down the aisle and out into the road where he jumps into Ric's car, Ric jumping in soon after him and throwing him the keys.  
  
Ric: She's pregnant, Nic, that could be her reason.  
  
Nic: She's what?  
  
They pull up at the park.  
  
Nic: Wait here!  
  
Ric nods and Nic jumps out of the car and rushes off into the green park. He spots Sandy straight away sitting on a bench.  
  
Nic: Sandy!  
  
He lifts her head slowly and sees the tears in her eyes and pulls her close to him.  
  
Nic: Hey, hey, hey, Sandy, its ok! I know about you being pregnant, and I know you must be scared. But it's going to make things better.  
  
Sandy sniffs and pulls her head away from his hand and looks into his understanding face its big blue eyes filled with pure shining love.  
  
Nic: I'm going to stand by you, no matter what.  
  
Sandy: It's just.  
  
Nic: Shhhh.  
  
He raises his finger to her lips and raises her by her hand.  
  
Nic: Are we going to get married or what?  
  
Sandy smiles and takes his hand; they walk across the park hand in hand towards the car.  
  
Vicar: Do you Sandy Harper take thee Nicholas Yorke... To have and to hold.. Till death do us part?  
  
Sandy: I do.  
  
Vicar: And do you Nicholas Yorke take thee Sandy Harper. In sickness and in health... For richer for poorer..Till death do us part?  
  
Nic: No.  
  
The Whole of the church stares in bewilderment at Nic no one more than Ric, who had seen the way they were together.  
  
Nic: I take her as more than that, I take her as a person to respect and to love, to enjoy the rest of my life with, to grow old with and to have my children with.  
  
Nic and Sandy walk out of the Church the confetti falling all over them thrown by Ric, Kath, Lisa, Jess and Owen, people clap all around and Sandy bends closer to Nic to whisper in his ear.  
  
Sandy: Did you really mean what you said?  
  
Nic: Every word of it and so much more.  
  
Sandy smiles and takes his hand once more squeezing it tightly, this is the happiest day of her life and sure, she doesn't know what tomorrow is going to bring, or how the baby is going to turn out. But at that moment, all that was in her head was the love she had for Nic and the sudden calmness in her, what once was, an aching heart.  
  
Holby theme tune that zooms out from the couple as they walk off towards a large "just married" limo.  
  
Eight and a half months later and Sandy is standing in Keller finishing some paper work off rubbing her "bump" affectionately.  
  
Kath: Sandy, it's your last day today isn't it?  
  
Sandy: Yeah, and then I'll be a mother.  
  
Kath: Is that what you want.  
  
Sandy: (nodding silently) yeah.  
  
Sandy takes the paper and slowly stacks it up when Alex comes up behind her; she whips around and catches his eyes. She slowly turns back around and pretends to be busy once more, rubbing her stomach as an impulse.  
  
Alex: No playing games, Sandy, the baby is mine isn't it?  
  
Sandy: Yes, but does it make much difference.  
  
Alex: Of course it does, why didn't you have it terminated?  
  
Sandy: (slightly raising her voice from the hushed conversation) Alex, this baby is mine! I wasn't going to get rid of. ouch!  
  
Sandy raises a hand to her stomach and winces in the pain, leaning forward slightly; Alex has a sudden look of concern over his harsh eyes and takes Sandy's arm that was pushing onto the desk to stay up. With her arm he leads her over to a chair and sits her down gently.  
  
Alex: What is it?  
  
Sandy: I think the babies coming!  
  
Kath rushes over and puts an arm around Sandy's shoulder, lifts her gently to her feet and takes her over to the swinging doors towards maternity, Alex following close behind with her bag and coat. Tom suddenly pops up behind them.  
  
Tom: And where do you think you are going Miss Shaughnessy, Mr Adams?  
  
Kath: I was taking her to maternity, she's having a baby.  
  
Tom: I'm very well aware of that, Miss Shaughnessy, but wouldn't it be best if maybe just one of you went, I am short of staff as it is with Sandy leaving today.  
  
Alex: I don't have theatre until late this afternoon.  
  
Tom: And I believe you, Kath, have work to be done, go along now.  
  
Kath squeezes Sandy's spare hand that is not still clutching her stomach and Alex puts his arm around her and leads her off leaving Kath in the entrance staring after them.  
  
Kath: I so hope that just one birth will go right for once.  
  
Tom: If you would kindly go and look at Mr. Davis please Kath, he needs his obs before surgery, and at this rate, It looks as if he will never get them.  
  
Kath nods and walks off towards a man sitting in his bed who raises his arms up and then down when she gets there, showing that he had been waiting. Kath leans forwards and takes his BP while the camera carries on zooming out.  
  
The curtain is closed around a bed in Keller, then a curtain is opened again, but this is the one in maternity, Owen's head pops through.  
  
Owen: How are we doing Sandy?  
  
Sandy: Not so. ouch!  
  
Mubbs: She's fully dilated, now Sandy listen to me, you're going to have to push!  
  
Sandy: Where's Nic?  
  
Alex looks down on Sandy and squeezes her hand.  
  
Alex: He will be here.  
  
He looks around the room, this is the last place he wanted to be, Sandy Yorke having his baby with him in the room. He said he wanted nothing to do with it, and he had meant it.  
  
Mubbs: Ok Sandy, now push.  
  
Sandy pushes squeezing Alex's hand tighter, he watches transfixed at the birth of his own, the idea scared him. But he had to face the fact, the baby was his.  
  
Mubbs: Ok Sandy, stop pushing.  
  
Sandy: Where is Nic!!  
  
Nic's face appears at the window, at that very cue, staring at his wife giving birth, he rushes in and Alex removes his hand and goes to stand by the back of the room. Nic takes her hand for the final push.  
  
Mubbs: Ok nearly there sandy, your going to have to push just one more time.  
  
Sandy screams as she pushes finally and Mubbs takes a crying baby over to a very exhausted Sandy and a proud Nic. Alex stands at the back of the room looking down at the baby that is cradled in Sandy's arms and his eyes well with tears. "you did it Alex, you're a father" That's all that ran through his head as he watched another man cooing at his baby.  
  
Sandy looks from the baby to Nic, knowing that maybe things would be ok, Alex wasn't interested, maybe it was best that way.  
  
Alex: I had best get back to Keller, hey might be needing me.  
  
Alex smiles and nods towards Sandy and the baby and rushes from the room.  
  
Sandy: She's beautiful!  
  
Nic: She sure is, just like you.  
  
Sandy smiles and pulls the baby closer to her, she suddenly remembers something and places one hand onto his knee.  
  
Sandy: There was something I wanted to ask you earlier, I wanted to know that if she was a girl, if we could name her after Chrissie or Diane?  
  
Nic smiles and places a hand on Sandy's shoulder and leans over, kissing her gently on her forehead.  
  
Nic: Sandy, you can call her whatever you want, I know they both meant a lot to you.  
  
Sandy: Chrissie Diane Yorke, hello.  
  
She strokes Chrissies face gently and Nic smiles at them, brimming with joy. For once his life was finally complete, a wife to love, a beautiful daughter to hold and he was sure that soon he would finally become a nurse.  
  
On Keller ward Alex comes through the ward and gets caught by a waiting Ric and Kath who both smile as he enters.  
  
Alex: Mother and baby are fine; they had a girl, 6 pounds 5 ounces.  
  
Kath: Oh, I'm so happy for her, Ric can you tell Tom I went up there; I will take it off my lunch break.  
  
Ric nods and smiles as Kath walks off towards maternity once more to go and see Sandy.  
  
In maternity Nic has gone for a coffee downstairs when Kath arrives in the ward and sees Sandy sitting alone cradling a sleeping Chrissie.  
  
Kath: What are you going to call her?  
  
Sandy looks up and smiles at Kath, placing the baby into the bed beside her.  
  
Sandy: We have decided on Chrissie Diane.  
  
Kath: That's a lovely thing to do, Sandy; I know they both would have loved it.  
  
Kath sits down on the chair at Sandy's bedside and stares at the sleeping baby, but the moment is spoilt by Alex coming through the door.  
  
Sandy: Kath, can you leave us a minute.  
  
Kath: Sure, I'll be outside.  
  
Alex walks over and takes Kath's place by the bedside as Kath walks out into the hall wondering what is going on.  
  
Alex: Can I hold her?  
  
Alex bends forwards over Chrissie but Sandy holds out her arm to stop Alex from getting her out.  
  
Sandy: You didn't want anything to do with her, its best like that!  
  
Alex: Sandy, she's mine, you can't stop me!  
  
Sandy: But we can't be sure of that!  
  
Alex: I thought you knew who the father was.  
  
Sandy: Alex, it was a one night stand, I'm not sure I just know it might be yours.  
  
Alex: So you can't stop me from seeing her.  
  
Sandy: Alex.  
  
Nic walks into the room, stands at the foot of the bed and places his coffee on the table at the end of the bed.  
  
Alex: The baby isn't yours, Nic, its mine!  
  
Sandy: You can't be sure of that! Nic, it was a one night stand, I'm sorry. We had a fight, but I'm not sure.  
  
Nic sits down at the end of her bed and looks from Sandy to Alex and then back again, Sandy is crying, she has shuffled to the edge of the bed and won't look at Alex.  
  
Nic: There is only one way to sort this out, if its his, we are through.  
  
Sandy: no, Nic!  
  
He gets up from the bed and walks out of the doors towards Owen.  
  
Nic: Owen, I need a paternity test.  
  
Owen: Not another man is there?  
  
Nic: Alex.  
  
Owen: Oh my god, umm. sure we have some of your baby's blood, what was the name again?  
  
Nic: Chrissie Diane Yorke.  
  
Owen smiles, his eyes brimming with tears as he pulls up the blood records.  
  
Owen: Ok just pull up your shirt for us.  
  
Nic rolls up his sleeve and Owen takes the blood and puts it in a bag next to Chrissie's.  
  
Owen: The results should be in, in about half an hour at the least.  
  
Nic: Thank you.  
  
He walks off back to the ward, where he finds Kath still standing outside, Alex has left from inside now.  
  
Nic: You can go in, she needs to be with someone right now, and I can't do it at the moment.  
  
He walks off towards the roof, the place that, since his first day, has been the place he went to think, to clear his head of anything that was bothering him.  
  
He goes up the stairs and arrives on the roof slightly breathless and stands by the side, leaning on it, breathing deeply.  
  
He remembers the very first time he spent with Sandy, how he had only wanted to see her at that party and how her smile had made his insides light up inside. All he had ever wanted was a family, why should it matter whether he was the true father or not, Sandy was his wife. Wasn't that all that really counted at the end of the day? He remembers his proposal, the day when she had made him the happiest man alive by saying yes with that same smile that made him want to jump for joy.  
  
The day that she had told him she was pregnant; the shock that rocked his body but all the while that smile kept him on inside wanting to join them together. When he had walked out of that church his whole life lay ahead of him. Who knew the dangers of what lay ahead? All he cared about was being with Sandy and making a life with her. So if that's really all he wanted, why would he leave her over the baby if his heart sung every time he saw her?  
  
He had reached his conclusion, he walked down the stairs back towards maternity where he entered Sandy's ward to find Owen waiting for him already.  
  
Owen: I came to tell you that you are Chrissie's father, congratulations.  
  
Nic's eyes brim with warm tears of joy and he rushes over to Sandy, placing an arm around her and pulling her close to him.  
  
Nic: I will never leave you again, I'm sorry for what you said.  
  
Sandy: Nic, your Chrissie's father, we have what we finally wanted, a family of our own and you have the job you want just around the next corner.  
  
Nic smiles down onto his new born daughter who is stirring in the bed, he places his hand and rubs her gentle face tears still flowing down, what once was, a distressed face.  
  
Sandy couldn't help but notice that once, she had been crazy about Alex, all she wanted was him. Finally Alex had wanted the baby that she birthed, she had slept with Alex and it was not what she wanted at all. She found it strange how things change when you finally find the one. The one that you would do anything for and the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with, she hadn't had much luck with men at all, but finally she felt her luck was beginning to change.  
  
To die on your lips  
  
Ric is sitting on a bed in Ric's office awaiting the results of a test he had been previously asked to undergo. Kath stands by his side gripping his hand and stroking the back of it her eyes showing fear but the face was calm and the tears were held back.  
  
Tom: Ric, its cancer, I think we may have caught it early enough though.  
  
Ric throws his head into his hands; Kath places her arm on his shoulder not breaking down in front of him. She had to be strong, for his sake.  
  
Kath: Is it operable?  
  
Tom: Yeah, sure, we can book you in for this afternoon Ric.  
  
Ric stands and heads towards the door in pure shock of what happened, he can't let himself go once more, not in front of Kath, she had been his shoulder to cry on too many times. He knew she had battled with Cancer before with Terry, which sure did make things harder for him, since they had just recently come out as being a couple.  
  
He sat down in his office thinking things over, how could he ever tell Jess? He runs his hands backwards over his head the tears falling down his face. Kath comes through the door silently and sits in front of him taking his hand.  
  
Kath: No matter what, Ric, I'm here for you, I'm not leaving you!  
  
Ric looks up, his tear drenched eyes filled with a look of defeat as he smiles half-heartedly at Kath.  
  
Ric: Kath, I'm not going to have the operation, it's only going to give me a few extra days, weeks, and it's not worth it.  
  
Kath: But you have to Ric, what about Jess?  
  
Ric: Jess will be fine, Kath, but I want to do this alone, you have suffered all of this before and I don't want to put you through this all again.  
  
Kath: Don't worry about me, I want to be with you, it's nothing to do with going through it again. I'm doing this because I love you Ric.  
  
Ric looks down towards the floor and a silent tear escapes Kath's eye she brushes it away quickly but her eyes remain scared and insecure and welling with tears of loneliness in the cruel world.  
  
Ric: Did he say how long I've got?  
  
Kath looks down at the floor and then slowly raises her head to meet his eyes, speaking the truth only.  
  
Kath: A few weeks at most.  
  
The tears begin to fall from her eyes, she cannot control them any more they race to her chin and fade away. He takes his finger and lifts one descendant tear and gazes up into her eyes.  
  
Ric: To be a tear, to be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks and Die on your lips.  
  
Kath smiles and wipes the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand she felt she just had to be strong for Ric. But she just felt like crying all the time.  
  
Kath: I had best get back to work, but just think about it ok?  
  
Ric: I've told you before, my decision has been made, and no one can change it, not even you.  
  
Kath slips out of her room and slides down the wall outside, she places her crying head into her hands which rest on her legs as she cries deeply and loudly in the open corridor. She remembers everything she had ever done with Ric, how there relationship had gradually grown when Diane had died, and now Ric was going to join her.  
  
Sandy walks over to Kath and kneels down beside her, putting her arm around her shoulder and pulling her in tightly.  
  
Sandy: What's wrong, Kath?  
  
Kath: It's Ric, he's got.. Cancer...  
  
Sandy: Oh, Kath, this always happens to the best of people.  
  
Tears well in Sandy's eyes as she comforts a devastated Kath, who is falling apart once more but this time she didn't have Ric to look strong for.  
  
On Maternity..  
  
Owen is sitting in his office, holding a picture of Chrissie in his hands, his tears splash over the frame as he stares into her bold blue eyes.  
  
Owen: Happy birthday Chrissie.  
  
He looks over to the picture of Daniel and smiles, he looks so much like Chrissie, it is hard to believe, a beautiful baby boy.  
  
He sits back in his chair and lifts some papers up to busy himself, it's the only way to stop his heart from aching over the loss of his beloved wife and daughter Amanda.  
  
AAU.  
  
Nic: Jess, Your wanted in Keller ward, I just got the message, and Kath sounded very serious on the phone.  
  
Lisa: Maybe she's gone and killed off your dad for money.  
  
Lisa still held a grudge against Kath even if she had told Danny that she would forgive her, it was all words said so long ago. Jess smiles and bounces off towards the swinging doors.  
  
On Keller ward.  
  
Jess comes through the doors smiling, she sees Kath standing by the desk her eyes lined with tears she stops suddenly knowing that something is up. She rushes over and stands by Kath's side.  
  
Jess: Kath, what's happened?  
  
Kath: Come with me, Jess.  
  
She takes Jess's arm, the tears still making a steady incline down her face as she leads her into Ric's office. Ric still has his head placed in his hands, but on the entrance of the most important people in his life he looks up and faced them all the character has left his face, like an empty shell just waiting to be discarded.  
  
Ric: You had best sit down, Jess.  
  
Jess looks from Kath to Ric and sits down slowly not taking her eyes off either of them, they had begun to worry her seeing the tears that had once fallen, they could no longer cry.  
  
Ric: Jess, I've got cancer.  
  
Jess's eyes widen and the tears immediately begin to fall as she cries out for her dying father.  
  
Jess: No!  
  
Ric: I've decided not to have surgery, just to make the most of the little time I have left, with those I care about most.  
  
Kath looks from father to daughter as Jess jumps up and rushes over and cries into his shirt, she shakes all over from shock and grief.  
  
Jess: How. How...  
  
Ric: Long, about 3 weeks, enough to spend the time with those that I have always ignored.  
  
Jess: There must be something they can do, to give you more time?  
  
Kath: There's an operation.  
  
Ric suddenly becomes frustrated; no one is listening to what he wants.  
  
Ric: But that's only going to give me a few more weeks, there is no point, Kath. You should know its just more grief and hassle! Its just more time waiting around for me to die.  
  
(In the background plays Seasons in the sun- Westlife)  
  
Jess looks upwards into her fathers eyes, knowing at that point that he really did love her, even if he was rather harsh at times. She bends forward and kisses him gently on the cheek, he pulls her closer to him and smiles. Kath stands over them, watching them close at last; at least now they know that they love one another. The tears still splash down their faces as they embrace breathing in each others smell and sensing the love that they have and the bond that they share.  
  
Ric: I have always loved you Jess.  
  
Jess raises her finger to her father's lips and he wipes the tears from her face, she puts her head into his shoulder and they cry together once more. (the music stops)  
  
In AAU.  
  
Lisa: Jess has been ages! What has happened to her, does she forget she has a job to do?  
  
Nic: Like I said Lisa, Kath sounded really serious, I think its something to do with Ric.  
  
Lisa: If I was Jess I would never have let that woman near my father, not after what she had done.  
  
Nic: I heard what happened to your father, but you can't be angry at Kath, there is no proof that she did anything, cant you just let go?  
  
Lisa stares into Nic's big trusty blue eyes and then looks upwards at the clock, she turns around and walks off towards the doors off to find Jess.  
  
On Keller ward.  
  
Lisa comes through the doors and walks over to the desk where she sees Sandy standing alone, there are tears tumbling down her cheeks which she has not noticed. She is sorting through some paper work but she isn't really concentrating on anything all she can do is worry about the fate that lies ahead for Ric. Death.  
  
Lisa: Sandy, what's wrong?  
  
Sandy looks up and wipes the tears from her eyes, totally embarrassed by what had happened.  
  
Sandy: It's Ric; he's been diagnosed with terminal cancer.  
  
Lisa looks down towards the floor her vision blurred by the tears that prickle her eyes, what she had said was true, she always thought a lot of Ric.  
  
Lisa: Oh no! How is Jess? Where is she?  
  
Sandy puts her hair back into place and leads Lisa over to Ric's office where she knocks gently on the door. Sandy pushes the door open to reveal Ric sitting at his desk with Kath behind him stroking his head tears falling silently from her eyes and Jess kneeling beside her father, her head in his lap where he strokes her hair away from her head.  
  
Lisa: I'm sorry if I'm interrupting something, I just wanted to see if Jess was ok.  
  
Jess stands and goes over to Lisa, standing by her side.  
  
Jess: I had best be back to work dad.  
  
Ric: I love you Jess.  
  
Jess nods and half-smiles at her father and slips out of the office holding in the tears that so wish to break free from the entrapment of her eyes. She leans forward into Lisa's arms and breaks down completely, Lisa strokes Jess's hair silently the moment trapping all their hearts, making time freeze in that moment of pain and sorrow.  
  
Lisa: I don't know what to say Jess.  
  
Jess: Don't say anything; I need to be strong, for dad's sake.  
  
Jess stands back; her face determined but inside still a mess, her heart torn apart, she was loosing her father to Cancer. She stands tall and wipes her eyes of the tears but they continue their journey down her face no matter how much she tried to stop them.  
  
Lisa: I will let you go home, if you want to.  
  
Jess: I think its best if I just stay busy, maybe it will put my mind off things.  
  
Lisa looks unsure, she knows that this will help for now, but it's harder later, when you think over how you could have spent the time thinking of them or with them. She didn't want Jess to make the mistakes she did with her father. She smiles at Jess and squeezes her arm comfortingly and leads her off towards AAU..  
  
In Keller ward.  
  
Ric is laying on one of the beds in a private room; they gave him the room for privacy out of his office. Kath lays next to him nestled into his shirt, sniffing every so often as the tears steadily flow from her eyes into the pillow. Ric is stroking her hair from her face as it sticks from the tears.  
  
Ric: And I'm going to take you both out to dinner at the top of the Eiffel Tower, we are going to go out to parks and watch the scenery, I promise you Kath, I'm not giving up that easy.  
  
Kath: Then have the operation!  
  
Ric: No, Kath, I will fight in here,  
  
He places his hand onto his heart.  
  
Ric: Not in there.  
  
He points over to theatre, Kath buries her head further into his shirt the tears becoming more often. He moves his arm to reveal her face, turns and leans closer to her and whispers into her ear softly.  
  
Ric: I'm never going to leave you, even when I go, your beautiful Kath, I will be waiting for you along with Terry and everyone else that has ever loved you.  
  
Kath nods silently and he leans closer and kisses her gently and then slowly lifts himself off the bed taking her hand and lifting her after him. They leave the ward his arm around her shoulder he breaths in deeply as they walk outside into the cold night.  
  
Ric: It's a beautiful night.  
  
He takes her hand and stares lovingly into her eyes and pulls her close and kisses her passionately in the middle of the empty car park. Holby theme tune begins as the camera zooms out revealing the whole hospital, Ric and Kath still visible in the car park of solitude.  
  
Part 2. (Through the opening scene Perfect Day by Lou Reed plays over the actions)  
  
Ric is standing in a field with Kath and Jess; they walk around picking flowers, laughing and joking. Jess and Ric sit on the bench while Kath is gone picking flowers alone. Jess and Ric sit laughing tickling and hugging each other, making up for lost time.  
  
Kath sits alone kneeling in a field of flowers twiddling one between her fingers tears streaming down her face she places her head into her hands once again and cries into them her body shaking with emotion. Ric comes up behind her and places a hand onto her shoulder; she turns up into his laughing face and places her hand onto his which is on her shoulder. He pulls her up into his arms and swings her around in his arms talking softly into her ear. Jess walks over and the three of them sit lay down in the grass talking and laughing without a care in the world, this is exactly the way that he had wanted it to be, a happy departure where he spends the last of it with his beloved family.  
  
In Maternity Owen sits alone in his office, his mind is still fixed on Chrissie, he smiles at the picture and sits back in his chair. He has to at some time to remember the happy times not the sad.  
  
In AAU.  
  
Nic and Sandy stand at the entrance, Sandy has baby Chrissie Cradled in her arms, it's her day off and she has come to see Nic.  
  
Nic: I can't believe what's happened to Ric, it always happens to the best people.  
  
Sandy: That's what you always say.  
  
Nic: It's what my mother always told me, and now I believe she is right, it just makes you think that maybe one day Chrissie might have to go through all of this.  
  
Sandy: She won't have to.  
  
Sandy rubs her hand down Nic's arm who grabs her hand and holds it in his stroking her palm gently.  
  
Nic: I love you Sandy.  
  
Sandy: I love you too Nic, but promise me, if that ever happened to me, you will just carry on in life, and bring Chrissie up properly.  
  
Nic: Don't talk like that, it won't happen to you Sandy, and if it does I will be by your side ever step of the way.  
  
Sandy places Chrissie into the pram and falls into Nic's warm embrace gripping tight to his shirt, never wanting to leave him, to spoil the moment.  
  
In the field Ric, Jess and Kath sit up against a fence, Ric with his arm around both Jess and Kath.  
  
Ric: I want to be cremated.  
  
Kath raises her finger to his lips and lets her hand drop slowly; she looks into his eyes and smiles weakly.  
  
Kath: Let's not talk about that, don't worry about the future, and just be with us here, now.  
  
Jess: Kath's right, forget about all of that, hey, do you remember when I was younger that song you used to sing to me?  
  
Kath: Ric, you sing?  
  
Ric laughs and looks at his daughter smiling, remembering all the times when Jess was a tiny girl.  
  
Ric: It hurt when I had to leave you and your mother Jess.  
  
He turns and squeezes Kath close to him and lifts his hand to play with her hair affectionately. She smiles and kisses him on the cheek and then smiles at Jess on the other side of Ric who smiles back at her.  
  
Ric: The two most important people in my life, together with me at last.  
  
Jess: I love you dad.  
  
Kath: I love you Ric.  
  
Ric smiles and pulls them both closer making them fall over and they begin to laugh and wrestle with Ric playfully. This would be one day that they would never forget for as long as they lived and nothing could erase it from their memory.  
  
On AAU.  
  
Lisa: I wonder if Jess is ok, she was taking it really badly yesterday.  
  
Sandy: Ahh yes, that's what Ric told me, she was going out with him and Kath today, I'm sorry I forgot, he knew I was coming in to see Nic so he told me to tell you.  
  
Lisa: No problem, I didn't expect to see her in anyways.  
  
She walks off to an empty room where she sits at the table running her hands through her hair. It brings back all the memories from her own father's death; she was hoping that this would never come to her again.  
  
In Maternity Owen is sitting at his Desk once more smiling, remembering a time with Chrissie, tears of joy are still rolling down his cheeks when Mubbs walks into his office.  
  
Mubbs: Are you ok Owen? It's not about Ric is it?  
  
Owen: Ric, Ohh no... I was just thinking of.  
  
Mubbs: Chrissie.  
  
Owen nods and Mubbs sits in the chair on the other side of the desk and picks up the picture of Chrissie.  
  
Mubbs: It's at these times when you think of people that you have lost the most.  
  
Owen: And realise how lucky you really are.  
  
Mubbs smiles and places the photo back onto the desk tears brimming in his eyes, he wiped it away quickly, he never wanted to show the real Mubbs, Mubarass Hussein. Mubarass was the true him, and sometimes that side would slip out and his caring side would show. But he would try anything to cover it up.  
  
Mubbs: I had best be going.  
  
Mubbs turns to go out of the door and places his hand on the handle.  
  
Owen: It was her birthday last week.  
  
Mubbs: I know.  
  
He pushes down on the handle and walks out, the door shutting behind him with no sound. He stops outside the office door and wipes his eyes for any remaining tears; Rosie would never shut up if she saw him cry.  
  
Ric crosses the graveyard; a bunch of Lilies in his hand, Kath stands close behind him holding his spare hand.  
  
Ric: She always did love lilies.  
  
Kath nods as they reach the grave of Diane Lloyd, Ric kneels down and places the flowers onto the ground in front of the stone.  
  
Ric: We will meet again soon.  
  
A tear falls down his and Kath's face almost simultaneously and he gets up and takes Kath's hand once more.  
  
Ric: Kath, it hurts.  
  
He clutches his stomach, the place of the cancer, she nods and takes his arm around her and leads him back towards the car.  
  
Owen is tying of some loose ends with a patient as he spots Tricia coming down the hall, with baby Daniel in her arms. He smiles and walks over to them. Owen sees that Tricia has been crying and he runs his hand down her suit sleeve.  
  
Owen: You thought of her as well?  
  
Tricia: Every moment of my life.  
  
Owen places his hand in the middle of her back and steers her out of the hospital silent tears still falling down his cheeks, he still hadn't got over the death.  
  
In AAU.  
  
Lisa is standing putting things in her bag when Jess comes in the door behind her and sits onto the bed in the room.  
  
Lisa: How are you, jess, you look terrible.  
  
Jess: I feel terrible; I just don't know what I can do.  
  
Lisa: the best thing you can do right now is be with him, every step of the way.  
  
Jess: Its nearing the end now, he may not show it, but I could see it in his eyes at times. He's going to give up fighting soon. And I don't think I can stand there by his side and just let him die and not be able to help him.  
  
Lisa goes over to Jess and sits onto the bed next to her placing her arm around her, this situation had brought them closer together even if it was not very significant at the time.  
  
Lisa: He needs you with him, who could replace his daughter by his side? I know its hard Jess, but you have to be with him, or you will end up regretting it for the rest of your life.  
  
Jess nods and tears spill from her eyes, her dad had not gone yet, how would she be when he truly was gone. It didn't bare thinking about.  
  
Lisa: Come here!  
  
Lisa pulls Jess close to her and they cry together into each others arms, they share a feeling inside them that they had never shown any one before. And for that moment there is deep understanding between them.  
  
Ric is lying in bed next to Kath who is stroking his face with the back of her hand, he had been earlier administered with Dia-morphine but it had not helped the pain much.  
  
Kath: Its ok, Ric, everything is going to be ok.  
  
A sound of deep reassurance is in her voice, but deep inside her heart she is trying to tell herself this, you can see it in her eyes.  
  
Sandy lies awake in bed looking at the ceiling, Nic turns over and sees her awake.  
  
Nic: Sandy? Why are you still awake?  
  
Sandy: All I can think of is Ric, in pain and dying slowly, and here we are just laying here when so much is going on around us.  
  
Nic: I'm sure he's fine Sandy, he knew how much you admired him, and I know you will never forget him, but its time to sleep.  
  
Sandy: Its when I see someone suffering in pain, it makes me think of how Ben died, in that car, with everyone just carrying on their lives, like nothing was going on.  
  
Nic: the whole world can't just stop when something happens, don't beat yourself up about it, you weren't to know, it's in the past now, just look for the future.  
  
Sandy rolls over onto her side so that she has her back to Nic; silent tears fall down her cheeks and glisten in the dark from the moonlight pouring through the window from the full moon outside.  
  
Tom opens the door to the ward, Ric is lying on the bed clutching his stomach with one hand and Kath is gripping the other, tears rolling down her face.  
  
Tom: The most we can do is just ease the pain, make it peaceful for him.  
  
Kath looks up her face red from the crying.  
  
Kath: Can someone please phone Jess and Lisa.  
  
Tom looks towards Ed who is standing at the back of the room his eyes lined with tears; he had gone almost unnoticed by everyone until this point.  
  
Ed: Will do.  
  
He walks out onto the ward, the tears plummeting down his face, he had always respected Ric, and he was a brilliant Consultant.  
  
Sandy rubs her eyes as the phone rings, her face lifts slightly off the pillow to see that it is only 2am. She heaves herself out of bed and goes over to answer the phone.  
  
Ric looks out into the night sky; Kath still grips his hand tightly and on the other side of the room stands a very tearful Lisa and Jess. Lisa has her hand on Jess's shoulder as she stares down at her dying father. The doors swing open and Sandy and Nic enter the room and stand by the back. Sandy slowly walks forward and kneels on the floor beside Ric's bed.  
  
Sandy: Ric, I have enjoyed working with you all these years, I'm going to miss you so much.  
  
Ric looks towards her and smiles, the pain is no longer bothering him, but the pain inside his heart begins to grow seeing everyone he cares for most so upset. Sandy stands up and joins Nic at the back of the room who nods towards Ric and takes Sandy into his arms where she lays her head into his shoulder and cries.  
  
Ric: Look after her well Nic.  
  
Ric looks up towards Jess and takes her hand in his and looks into her eyes, that simple look making her smile.  
  
Jess: I love you dad, and I know I was always asking for things but.  
  
She breaks down into tears once more and Lisa squeezes her shoulder once again the tears silently falling down her cheeks. She would have broken down, fallen apart, she had never been close to Ric, but even she knew that he was a remarkable man. She only kept it together for the sake of Jess. Ric sees this and nods at Lisa a look of sorrow spread over her face once again but she fights back the tears.  
  
Tom looks towards the people in the room and clears his throat.  
  
Tom: I think it would be best to leave Kath and Ric alone for a bit, when it's the end Jess, you will be allowed back in, to say your last bit, I promise.  
  
Lisa sees this as her cue and steers Jess out into the corridor shortly followed by Nic, Sandy and Ed. Tom stays inside by the back, watching over Ric at his very last few moments.  
  
Ric: Kath.. I.  
  
Kath raises her finger to his lips and smiles through the tears cascading down her face. She bends forwards and kisses him tenderly on the lips.  
  
Kath: To be a tear.  
  
Jess comes into the room as Ric grabs Kath's hand once more, he then takes Jess's and smiles at the two of them, the tears falling down his cheeks.  
  
Ric: I. love... you... Both. I'll always... be.. Be.  
  
(The song un-break my heart by Toni Braxton plays in the background of all of this  
  
The heart monitor stops and Tom goes over and switches it off. Kath and Jess look at each other the tears falling ever more rapidly.  
  
Outside in the corridor Nic is holding a crying Sandy in his arms a few silent tears fall down his cheeks, they all heard the heart monitor fail. Lisa falls into Ed's arms and they cry together her burying her head into his shirt.  
  
Kath sits alone in the relative's room, the tears falling down her face she looks out into the moonlit night sky.  
  
Kath: My tear, to die on my lips.  
  
She collapses onto the surrounding chairs, the tears spilling from her eyes; she takes a picture of Ric out of her purse and holds it close to her as she curls up onto the chairs. She shuts her eyes, more tears escaping the fortress of her lids as she breathes in the smell from Ric's jacket that lies on the chair in front of her. She looks out of the window once again the tears still falling down her cheeks in a never ending line. Her heart aches as she stares at the picture that she grips in her shaking hands. She sits up and breathes in deeply and stands by the window looking out onto the whole of Holby. She sees the car park where she and Ric had kissed at midnight a week ago, it seemed so far away. She drops down to the floor and sits huddled against the wall in floods of unbroken tears.  
  
The Holby theme tune starts once more as it shows Jess kissing her fathers forehead goodnight back in the ward...  
  
Part 3.  
  
Kath kneels in the field that she, Ric and Jess had spent their last day together in, the tears carry on plummeting down her cheeks, the pain unbearable. She leans over into her hands and sobs gently into them in the open air of the field, alone and able to show her emotions. Kath feels a hand upon her shoulder once more; she places her hand onto her shoulder and turns around to see no one behind her. Falling back into her crouching crying position once more she calls his name the tears cascading down her face more heavily.  
  
Sandy stands alone in Ric's office, she lifts the picture of Ric and Diane that Ric had cried over on the death of Diane.  
  
Sandy: Together for always.  
  
She smiles lightly through the tears and places the photograph back onto the side. Nic places his hand around her waist and she falls into his arms and sobs endlessly, Ric meant so much to her, a brilliant consultant and friend.  
  
Kath lifts her hand to her eyes and lifts away the tears in her most beautiful black dress for the funeral. Despite trying to wipe them away, the tears continue to fall. She looks towards a picture of Danny and feels more empty and lonely than she ever had, the look showing in her tear stained eyes.  
  
Lisa stands in the mirror beside Jess, them both dressed for the funeral, Lisa has her arm still around Jess.  
  
Lisa: Are you sure you're ready?  
  
Jess: I'll never be ready.  
  
Lisa nods and leads Jess over to the car; they both manage to keep the tears aside on the account of one another.  
  
Kath arrives at the funeral and stands at the front gripping onto the pews to stop her from collapsing in tears once again. Lisa places her hand on Kath's shoulder and seats herself beside her with Jess at her side.  
  
***  
  
Vicar: And now Kath would like to say a few words.  
  
Kath stands, shaking with grief and walks over to the alter, her voice wobbles as the tears escape her eyes once again refusing to stop.  
  
Kath: Ric was a great man, without him many would not be alive.  
  
Sandy looks down on her baby and strokes her head, the tears splashing onto Chrissie's face. Thanks to Ric and Kath she hadn't terminated her baby.  
  
Kath: He was devoted to his job and everyone that knew him respected him and saw him for the caring man he really. really. was.  
  
The tears and pain becomes too overwhelming and Kath walks down the steps back towards her Seat.  
  
Kath: I'm Sorry Jess, I couldn't carry on.  
  
Lisa squeezes Kath's hand and raises, walking over to the alter, she had to get through this, as no one else could  
  
Lisa: He was a brilliant father and stood by his children no matter what.  
  
Jess looks up and the tears fill her eyes, Kath squeezes her hand delicately and looks towards the floor, she can't even look at Jess, she feels it her fault.  
  
Lisa: People had their ups and downs with him but all in all he got on with everyone that he met and people respected him dearly.  
  
Alex sits at the back and a single tear rolls down his cheek he wipes it away quickly as Ed turns to face him.  
  
Lisa: He has now gone to join Diane where he will wait for us all, he will be much loved and greatly missed.  
  
Kath stands and walks towards Lisa's side at the Alter.  
  
Kath: There were a few more things I wanted to say, two poems I would like to read.  
  
A thousand words couldn't bring you back,  
  
I know because I've tried.  
  
Neither could a thousand tears,  
  
I know because I've cried.  
  
You left behind a broken heart and very few memories, too.  
  
But I never wanted memories, I only wanted you.  
  
Tears fall down her cheeks as she reads the poem, she stands strong determined to finish it, just for Ric.  
  
Kath: Ric recited this to me just after he found out he had cancer,  
  
I would love to be a tear.  
  
For to be born in your eyes,  
  
To live upon your cheeks,  
  
And die upon your lips  
  
Is the only heaven  
  
I could ever dream of.  
  
The tears escape and she just breaks down, she falls onto the alter in uncontrollable tears, the words tearing at her heart. Lisa grips Kath's shoulders and leads her back to her seat where the curtains close around the coffin and it slowly descends down below. Lisa lets her guard down for just a second the tears flow silently from her eyes, the pain stabbing endlessly into her heart like a spear of sorrow. Hello's, Goodbyes and new beginnings.  
  
Tash breathes in deeply as she looks up at Holby, it's been over a year now, but she just had to come back, she had respected Ric. The tears begin to spring in her eyes just thinking about it, she hesitates a second. Then breathes in once more and pushes the doors open onto Keller ward.  
  
(Must have been love by Roxette plays in the background) Kath sits in her bedroom, alone and secluded, she grips Ric's jacket and cries deeply into it. Her heart hasn't stopped weeping from being torn apart from the loss of her one love. She wipes away the tears silently and lies back onto the bed folding her arms around a framed photo of Ric. The tears continually spill silently down her face, and being caught gently in her pillow. She sighs and looks up at the ceiling; Ric had meant so much to her, how could she ever get over him? She raises her shaking hand and wipes away the tears once more, sitting up, determined to carry on with her life. After all, isn't that what Ric would have wanted? But even as the thoughts crossed her mind, the whole reality hit her once more, the grief hitting her like a cold lonely arrow.  
  
Tash crosses the hallway the tears flowing from her eyes; she hadn't realised yet and hadn't yet stopped them. She looks around at the familiar walls, floor and some of the familiar people and smiles weakly. Home at last. Ed comes rushing down the corridor and stops in front of the grieving Tash, a smile spreading softly over his face.  
  
Ed: Can I help you?  
  
Tash: Not unless you can bring Ric back.  
  
A look of deepened sorrow spreads slowly over his face as he looks into Trash's wide eyes, understanding showing deeply in them  
  
Ed: You must be Tash; I have heard great things about you.  
  
Tash: I didn't come here to take his place.  
  
Ed: At the moment, it doesn't look like you have much choice, I have a meeting to go to or I would have made sure you were ok with the new registrar.  
  
Tash nods and folds her arms neatly in front of her, looking around once more; Ed quickly hurries off in order to reach the meeting in time.  
  
Kath kneels beside Ric's grave, the tears slowly descending her eyes, tears un-cried that were destined to escape.  
  
Kath: Ric, there are so many things I wanted to say, things I could have never told you before. You meant so much to me all throughout the years we worked together; I never intended it to end like this,  
  
The tears fall ever more rapidly, Kath's voice begins to shake in emotion and pain, these were things she never wanted to say, not like this, it had been weeks since his death, why couldn't she just let go.  
  
Kath: You helped me through so much in my life, in your one time of need all I could do is watch from the sidelines, unhelpful and useless. How could you have loved me, when I had murdered Terry? You knew I did it, I'm glad you didn't ask the same of me. I love you Ric, you know I do, did, forever will.  
  
She stands silently, placing a rose delicately onto the ground in front of the fresh grave. Her legs shake from crying, weak and tired, but she stands strong pushing herself forward showing that she could be strong, if only for him. The emotion no longer shows in her face, a mask of confusion, pain and sorrow but the will to go on.  
  
Ed sits down at the table, the Hospital committee all around him, all but Tom, the reason to call this meeting.  
  
Jan: Ed, nice of you to finally join us, Mr Davis was just filling us in on what happened with Mr. Campbell-Gore regarding a Sister Williams.  
  
Ed: Sorry Jan, Owen please carry on.  
  
Owen: I was just finishing, Ed, but I sure that you have heard of what happened.  
  
Ed: I am aware of it, yes.  
  
Jan: And this is a serious case, Ed, Owen has put forward an assault case on Mr Campbell-Gore. I'm afraid we have to suspend him  
  
Ed: You have no proof!  
  
Jan: I'm sorry, Mr Keating, but honestly, what choice do I have? You know the way things work. And what with all that's happened lately, I can't much take things lightly.  
  
Ed: Who's going to tell him?  
  
Owen: That would be best left to you Ed.  
  
Ed: You put him in this mess, its nothing to do with me.  
  
Ed stands up pushing the chair across the room storming out of the room in protest to Tom's suspension.  
  
Kath walks slowly across the ward busying herself with patients, she had lost her glow, that smile that brought her dull face to life. Kath is bent over a patient checking their bloods when she feels a familiar hand on her shoulder, turning around quickly to see Tash standing strong by her side.  
  
Kath: Tash!  
  
Tash: It's been a long time Kath.  
  
Kath: It sure has, what happened with Mel?  
  
Tash: The inevitable, she died, just as Ric, it was nearly a year ago now.  
  
Kath: I'm so sorry.  
  
Tash raises a hand a places it onto Kath's shoulder rubbing it gently, smiling at her familiar face, Kath was almost unrecognisable now, without that sparkle in her eyes. Tash could see beyond the exterior, straight into the insecure, mourning person inside waiting to break free.  
  
Tash: Don't worry about me, how are you coping.  
  
Kath brushes her hair out of her face to prevent the tears from falling once more, she couldn't break down again. Who knew if she could ever stop if she did?  
  
Kath: I'm doing ok.  
  
Tash: You can't lie to me Kath.  
  
Kath: Honestly Tash, I'm fine!  
  
Kath brushes past Tash rather rudely the tears burning her eyes slowly, tears of anger and pain, broken heartedness and remorse. She holds them back once more, she couldn't do it, and she had to hold it together for the sake of herself and for Ric. How could she live her life in fear of breaking down in tears over a guy that she had only just got so close to, in an intimate way? They had of course been close for long before that, but that she wished not to think of, it was all in the past now, the future was ahead of her. Just waiting for her to wake up and live it.  
  
Tom stands in his office placing photos, documents and memories into his briefcase, he was sure this was the end, his final day at Holby.  
  
Tom: It's been fun.  
  
Ed looks up into Tom's eyes seeing hurt and guilt, it was true, he had really done all of that to Chrissie. How could he have? She was so young, what had Tom been thinking of, the thoughts rushed through his head like thunder, what could he tell Jan? He knew the truth and it wasn't what he had wanted to have heard.  
  
Ed: Goodbye Tom.  
  
Tom: I give you the choice now, Ed, before things get too messy, you can stay here or come with me, choose.  
  
Ed: I'm staying here, how can I believe you, trust you, after what you did to Chrissie?  
  
Tom looks up into Ed's free spirited face and nods gently, a look of hurt spreading across his tired eyes.  
  
Tom: Very well Mr Keating, it's been a pleasure working with you.  
  
He places out his hand, gesturing for a shake; Ed's eyes look down onto his hand, his face showing utter disgust. He turns towards the door and shuts it firmly behind him; he had always thought Tom was a brilliant guy. His judge of character was obviously very bad.  
  
Kath crossed the ward, her head held high, and the pain cutting endlessly in her heart. She smiles gently, a mask in front of everyone.  
  
Ed: Kath, just go home, you're not ready yet.  
  
She nods silently, the tears beginning to escape once more, couldn't she be strong for him or would this pain never end? She picks up her bags and walks out of the ward, a mountain of strength all but the tears flowing gently down her sodden cheeks.  
  
In AAU, Jess stands at the desk looking up at the clock, a single tear escapes her eyes rolling silently down her cheek and dying on her chin. She lifts her hand and gently wipes away the tear, she was strong, she knew it. Lisa stands behind her looking deeply sorry for Jess, she knew she wasn't coping, it was all an act.  
  
Kath stands in the toilets in front of the mirror wiping away the tears with a tissue, the tears had stopped, for now. One of the cubicle doors opens and the new Ward sister Sarah Jenkin appears and stands by Kath.  
  
Sarah: What's wrong?  
  
Kath looks up into her eyes and smiles, its always good to see fresh blood around here, someone that can go on, without the problems of loosing Ric, Diane, or for that matter, anyone.  
  
Kath: You are the new ward sister aren't you?  
  
Sarah: Yes, but I can tell that your upset, what is it?  
  
Kath: The old Consultant, Ric, he was my boyfriend and we had worked together many years.  
  
The tears begin to escape once again, just talking about him pained her heart too much, too much for her to handle much more.  
  
Sarah: It's ok, I know he was a brilliant man, he worked with me once, a really fantastic guy.  
  
Kath nods silently, the tears flowing down her face in a steady line of sorrow and hurt, did everyone in the whole world know Ric?  
  
Kath: Yeah.  
  
Sarah places her arm gently around Kath's shoulder and places some tissues into her trembling hands. She knew work here at Holby was going to be difficult, but at least it was others troubles instead of that with Steve. She shuddered slightly just thinking of him but the moment soon passed as she comforted a teary Kath.  
  
Sarah: What are you doing here anyway?  
  
Kath: I thought it would... make things e. easier.  
  
Sarah shakes her head and rubs Kath's arm gently. She leads Kath slowly out of the toilets and onto the ward where she takes her coat, nods towards Ed and leads Kath out of the ward slowly.  
  
In AAU, Jess stands with a patient, she is still distracted with her father, she can hardly even think.  
  
Lisa: Jess, if you're going to stay here I advise you watch what you're doing, one of these days someone's going to get hurt.  
  
Jess looks up and begins taking the mans blood pressure, with no effort, like a robot just doing as it is commanded. She smiles lightly at the patient who takes her arm before she walks off.  
  
Patient: Nurse, whatever it is, you're probably best at home.  
  
Jess loosens herself from his grip and walks off with the clipboard pressed against her chest. Lisa comes slowly behind her and turns her around with her hand.  
  
Lisa: Jess.  
  
Jess: I need to get back to normal sometime!  
  
Lisa: But I just don't think that.  
  
Jess: Sooner better than later, right?  
  
Lisa: Jess, you can't lie to me, I know your still in pain, I've been through it. I understand how you feel.  
  
Jess: No Lisa! You don't know at all!  
  
She pushes herself past Lisa and goes off to talk to some relatives of the patient she had previously seen.  
  
Jess: Mr and Mrs Ferander right?  
  
They nod and Jess leads them over to the patient..  
  
Kath and Sarah sit at the table in Kath's house drinking a cup of tea each, Sarah is holding Kath's hand gently and smiling, she knew Kath could make it through.  
  
Sarah: You say he had a daughter here?  
  
Kath: Yes, Jess, she's an amazing girl, taking it so well.  
  
Sarah: Its best to grieve than keep it all in, because when you finally let it go, its too late, too much has happened and not much can help you.  
  
Kath looks up slowly and pours into Sarah's wide eyes that had begun to brim with silent tears, she knew that there was a hidden meaning in their somewhere, but she felt it best not to question it. Sarah had been so good to her.  
  
Tom stands in the car park and gently bends himself down to sit in his car, he looks up to Holby, the tears brimming in his eyes, it had been a good time there. He takes one final glance up to the Hospital before pulling out and driving out onto the road outside, never looking back. He had finally faced the facts; it was the end of him there, time to move on.  
  
Tash stands in surgery next to the new Registrar, James; they work silently every so often one asking another for something. They had not yet become acquainted and James was nervous at working for Tash. This was his first job as a surgeon; he just hoped he wouldn't mess it up.  
  
Tash closes up finally after a tiring day and takes of her surgical gloves, throwing them into the bin. Adam slowly comes up behind her; she sighs and places her head into her hands, pushing back her hair.  
  
Adam: We haven't really got to know each other, I was wondering if you want to go for a drink after work?  
  
Tash looks up at him and smiles gently, she knew he didn't fancy her, which made things easier, she didn't need a guy after her when what she wanted was women.  
  
Tash: Sure.  
  
He smiled gladly and grabbed his coat and sped off to get changed. Tash leading slowly behind him, it was a fresh start, and all she needed was to have a drink and relax.  
  
Kath sits at the table alone, she places an empty wine glass onto the table and smiles weakly, she had needed that time with Sarah. Sarah comes through the bathroom door smiling and takes her coat.  
  
Sarah: Mr Keating isn't going to like me gone for too long, so I had best be off Kath, it's been really nice talking to you. We should do it again some time, Cheer up yeah.  
  
She lifts Kath's head up and then walks out of the room her coat folded over her arm, a slight smile on her face; her first day and she had met a fantastic woman, if only everyone was as nice as her.  
  
Tash sits at the bar alone, turning things over in her mind, it's the times of loneliness you think of those you have lost the most, Mel and Ric.  
  
Adam: So, you have worked here before?  
  
Tash: A few years back, I went off as my girlfriend had cancer.  
  
Adam: I'm sorry to hear that.  
  
He looked up and around the bar, surgeons and nurses stood around, all laughing and joking all but one, Sarah. He stands up and walks over to her and smiles deeply at her.  
  
Adam: You are the new Ward sister right?  
  
Sarah nods and he holds out his hand to take hers, smiling all the while.  
  
Adam: I'm Adam Richards, and you might be?  
  
Sarah: Sarah Jenkin.  
  
Adam: Come and join us for a drink, Tash won't mind.  
  
Sarah stands up and goes over to the table and seats herself opposite Tash, the three of the order drinks and sit back talking quietly, none of them mentioning the past, just what lies ahead for them, the past wasn't always a good thing to bring up. Kath sits at the table still, draining a glass of wine, the tears silently and gently rolling down her face, they had become more infrequent, but they still fell. She looks up at the clock and places her head in her hands, she then stands up, tired of the loneliness, grabs her coat and leaves the house.  
  
Ed stands in the ward, looking out of the windows over the car park, tears springing in his tired eyes. Would he have been better going with Tom, he saw no future ahead of him here, just a meaningless life, going about the same things everyday. Even if he was a surgeon, doing the most extraordinarily different operations daily, they all seemed the same to him at that very point.  
  
Kath arrives in the bar and goes to sit by Tash, Sarah and Adam who all smile at her encouragingly, Sarah squeezes her arm as she sits down and her warm smile puts them all in good spirits.  
  
Kath: I'm assuming you are the new Registrar for Tash here?  
  
Adam: No one but.  
  
Tash smiles and nods lifting up her glass and sipping lightly out of it,  
  
Tash: Another round of drinks? Kath?  
  
Kath: I'll have a white wine please.  
  
Sarah: Bailies for me.  
  
Adam: Same again.  
  
Tash gets up and walks over to the bar; Sarah turns to Kath and rubs her arm softly a large scar showing from under her top. She covers it quickly hoping that Kath hadn't seen it, but she had. She stands quickly and leaves the bar; she hadn't wanted them to know, not like this anyways. Kath stands just as suddenly and goes after her, Sarah had helped her, it was only right to find out what was wrong.  
  
Anton Meyer parks up in the car park and walks up the stairs, a spring in his step, he looks around smiling as he sees Alex walking past.  
  
Alex: Anton!  
  
Anton: Indeed Mr Adams.  
  
Kath arrives at Sarah's side and rest her arm on her shoulder, taking her hair away from her face, to reveal tears steadily flowing down her cheeks. She falls into Kath's arms and sobs uncontrollably.  
  
The Holby theme tune starts up once more as it zooms out from the two women in the park, showing Holby just across the road, sleeping silently.  
  
Part 2.  
  
Kath looks up into Sarah's crying eyes and pulls away from her, holding Sarah's arms in her hands.  
  
Kath: Sarah, what's the matter?  
  
Sarah: I had to come to Holby, my husband he, he was a.  
  
Kath: Wife beater?  
  
Sarah: How do you know?  
  
Kath: Sarah, it's obvious to someone who has been through it before, you need to forget him and move on.  
  
Sarah: It's so hard, living in fear of him coming back every moment of your life.  
  
Kath: I know.  
  
Kath pulled Sarah close once again, the tears falling from both their eyes, dragging up painful memories that belonged in the past; it was easier just to leave them there.  
  
Meyer stands inside his office beaming at the office as he places photos, documents and memories onto the desk. He sits silently at the chair, Holby brought back mixed memories, some painful to remember but some that made him want to laugh and shout that he was back there. He didn't want anyone to know how he felt about coming back. What did it matter to them anyways? He was there to work and that was all that mattered in his mind.  
  
Kath stands in the park, her arm still around Sarah's shoulders, her shaking with fear constantly.  
  
Kath: Its ok, he won't get you here.  
  
Sarah looks up into Kath's reassuring eyes, still not quite convinced.  
  
Sarah: Steve could have got anything that he wanted, he was a very persuasive man. It took a lot for me to leave him, but I'm afraid I'll just take him back.  
  
Kath: If he hurt you that much Sarah, there is no way you could ever take him back. Assault and rape are very serious offences, why didn't you ever contact the police.  
  
Sarah: It mainly boils down to fear, and shame.  
  
Kath nods and wipes away Sarah's tears with a tissue, squeezing the top of her arm softly, the scars at the bottom were rather sore, or so it seemed.  
  
Ed walks slowly into Tom's old office to see Anton sitting at the desk, his head buried in some paperwork, patient files.  
  
Anton: Tom didn't tie off well with his patients did he?  
  
Ed: Anton?  
  
Anton: Mr Keating.  
  
Ed: He didn't have time to; he was pretty much thrown out in a hurry. Not that he didn't deserve it, I can't even think of what he did.  
  
Anton: Indeed not Mr Keating, but if you could please fill me in on Mrs Arferad, I have an appointment with her tomorrow morning and I can't sit around here all night sorting out the mess that Mr Campbell-Gore has left behind.  
  
Ed smiles and goes over to Anton looking through some paper work with him, a great look of respect on his face. Alex was right about him, a loyal consultant, and very professional.  
  
Lisa sits beside Jess in the flat, Jess sits ignoring Lisa as she watches TV the tears flowing silently down her cheeks. Lisa lifts her arm as if wanting to reach out and comfort her, but she thinks the better of it and puts her hand back down, Jess needs to be alone to get her head straight, even if Jess didn't quite know that at the time, she would in the future understand, or at least that's how Lisa understood it.  
  
Lisa: Jess, I'm sorry.  
  
Lisa looks up into Jess's tear stained eyes and smiles sympathetically, holding out her arms. Jess moves across the couch and hugs Lisa, friendly. She then sits back into the couch allowing the tears and emotion all to escape, Lisa places her hand on Jess's shoulder and smiles encouragingly.  
  
Jess: I can't believe he's gone, I just wake up every morning expecting to see him and Diane working together, laughing and joking. But it just couldn't happen, and that hits me when I finally get a hold of my senses. I don't see the point in getting up, if my dad and a good friend have left me, what more is there in life.  
  
Lisa: Oh, Jess.  
  
She rubs her arm gently and the tears cascade down her face, her blond hair sticking to the wetness. She couldn't hold in her pain, she wanted them back as well, more than Jess knew.  
  
Jess: I'm not going in today.  
  
Lisa: Don't worry about it; take as much time as you need.  
  
Jess looks up into Lisa's crying eyes and nods gently taking Lisa's hand from her shoulder.  
  
Kath and Sarah sit in the Hospital ward, it's the start of their shifts and they are talking as It is too early for many people. Kath turns as she hears someone coming down the corridor.  
  
Kath: Anton!  
  
He walks over to her and smiles gently, taking her hand.  
  
Anton: Miss Shaughnessy, it's nice to see that you are still here, I heard what happened with Ric, I hope this won't be affecting your work?  
  
Kath: No, Anton, I think I will be ok.  
  
Sarah: Mr Meyer, I have heard great things about you! I thought you left here.  
  
Anton: One cannot keep someone away from here too long, and when Tom left they asked me back, what more is there to say?  
  
Kath smiles and picks up some clipboards in which she hands over to Sarah who starts to look through them. Kath then walks off towards the ward where she starts talking to some patients.  
  
Anton: Just how she always was, a good nurse and great with people, very well Miss Jenkin, I will be seeing you later no doubt.  
  
Sarah nods and Anton strides across the ward his face full of determination, this time he was going to get it right, he had felt like such a failure, but this time, it was different. He stands looking through the window in the ward, smiling he pushes open the door and walks in, his head held high. Ed stands inside awaiting his arrival and looks up at him as he enters.  
  
Ed: This is Mr Meyer; he will be performing your operation.  
  
Anton: Pleasure to meet you Mr Macdonald; you are our all famous heart transplant are you not?  
  
Mr M: I've been on the list for ten years now; I just want it to go right this time.  
  
Anton: Indeed, we will try our best Mr Macdonald, no worries. Will I be needing to go through the procedure with you or are you familiar with what is to happen?  
  
Mr M: It almost happened before, so yes, I know what's going to happen, it had best be quick that's all.  
  
Anton: All in good time Mr Macdonald, all in good time.  
  
Ed: Your operation will be taking place later tonight, as long as you're still fit for the operation.  
  
Anton: We will be needing Sarah in here for obs every half hour if you will.  
  
Ed nods and walks out of the room, leaving Anton flicking through Mr Macdonald's notes, he sure had taken charge quickly. It was obviously best this way, of course.  
  
Nic stands in his bedroom, tears escaping his eyes, a note clutched in his shaking hands. He looks down onto the bed and sits down on it silently crying into the note that he is still gripping tightly in his hands. The sound of Chrissie crying from the room nearby starts up, Nic doesn't move, he sits silently transfixed, awe struck by what has happened.  
  
Jess sits on the sofa, watching the images on the television flick past, not paying much attention to anything shown. The tears break free from her soft brown eyes she doesn't notice their steady decline as she flicks the channels with the remote almost robotically.  
  
Anton stands at the sink scrubbing up for surgery walking slowly past ed, his hangs held up so as not to touch anything. Ed stands by the sink and begins to wash his hands thoroughly.  
  
Anton: This could be an interesting one.  
  
Ed: Who is on the other side?  
  
Anton: Tash is dealing with the donor, such a young man, a very healthy heart though.  
  
Ed: And she will be working with?  
  
Anton: Why the sudden interest?  
  
Ed: I was just wondering, you know.  
  
Anton: Indeed Mr Keating, she will be assisted by a Mr Richards, the new registrar. If the patients interests are your main cause for concern Ed, I wouldn't worry, Tash is a very capable consultant.  
  
Ed: I'm fully aware of that Mr Meyer.  
  
Anton: the can we please get into theatre and do this operation?  
  
Ed nods and the two of them lead off into surgery.  
  
Nic sits silently on the bed, holding baby Chrissie delicately in his arms cradling her, the baby unaware of what had happened. The tears continually spill from his eyes and end in deep succession on his sodden chin.  
  
He looks down into his daughters wide eyes, she was the image of her mother, where was she now, what was she doing?  
  
Anton is standing doing surgery, Ed at his side them both looking down onto the body, the new heart in place.  
  
Anton: More light please, move it further towards me.  
  
The SHO takes the light and moves it closer over the heart allowing Anton to see clearer.  
  
Anton: More suction please Ed!  
  
Ed looks down onto the body, moving the suction around, trying to keep out of Anton's way, it had been such a hard day, and he didn't need it.  
  
Anton: Ok pacing wires please.. Ok, good work guys, can I leave you to close please Ed?  
  
Ed: Sure.  
  
Anton takes his gloves and throws them triumphantly into the bin taking off his gown and wrapping it up placing it onto the side. He looks up towards the clock, still an hour of work left but the day had been successful, and he had proved that he could make it back to Holby.  
  
Kath crosses the room and opens the door smiling to a soaking Nic; she holds out her arm and leads him into the house. Despite the rain splashed across his face she could tell he had been crying. She spots the sodden note still clenched in his tightened fist, she holds out her hand and puts it around his hand stroking the back of it gently.  
  
Kath: What's happened?  
  
Nic: I-I-Its Sandy, Sh-Sh-she.. She has. has, gone!  
  
He breaks down in floods of tears; she places a hand around his shoulders and strokes his arm, his head placed into his hands.  
  
Kath: And Chrissie?  
  
Nic: I left her with Lisa, Kath, she just. went. he called her back. and she just. just. went. running to. to. him.  
  
Between each word he whimpers and sobs gently, the pain unbearable in his, now broken, heart.  
  
Kath: Danny?  
  
Nic nods silently causing more tears to escape and run down his trembling chin.  
  
Nic: My world. is falling apart. and theirs nothing I can do to stop it.  
  
Kath pulls him closer; he places a hand onto her shoulder and cries gently into it, not afraid to let his emotions run away with him, just like Sandy had run away with Danny. He looks towards the floor and for once second he feels like he is in Sandy's arms again and all will be ok. But the second fades, as they always do and the reality hits him harder than ever with the pain, hurt and loneliness. Would he ever see his wife again?  
  
Tash stands looking over the ward smiling as Anton walks slowly over to her, her face a mask of seriousness.  
  
Anton: Good work in theatre today.  
  
Tash: It was nothing, I had a good registrar.  
  
Anton: Indeed, well, Miss Bandara, you would have made Ric proud.  
  
Tash nods gently and folds her arms as if waiting for more, but no more was to come. She takes some files from Sarah and heads off for a patient who is sitting up in bed talking animatedly.  
  
Nic and Kath sit on the couch Kath rubbing the back of Nic's neck, the tears still gracefully falling down his rugged cheeks.  
  
Kath: Where are you spending tonight?  
  
Nic: I don't know, probably at home  
  
Kath: You want to go back there?  
  
Nic: I have to, for Chrissie.  
  
Kath nods, knowing that he would have to go home, for his daughter's sake, but she just didn't want to leave him, not like this.  
  
Kath: Are you sure you will be ok on your own?  
  
Nic: Lisa will be there probably, so I won't have to worry about Chrissie.  
  
Kath: Do you want me to take you back now?  
  
Nic nods and she lifts up from the couch Nic rising after her, she turns and heads for the door and he takes her arm and turns her around.  
  
Nic: And Kath.  
  
Kath: What?  
  
Nic: Thank you.  
  
She smiles and turns away once more leading off towards the door and holding it open for him to leave. He walks silently out of the door, the tears still slipping through the barrier of his eye lids. She follows silently after him and into her car.  
  
Kath: She was a good woman, but she always loved Danny.  
  
He nods once again causing more tears to run free from his wide eyes, pulling his seat belt over him, he sits back into the car and Kath turns on the radio.  
  
Lisa stands cradling Chrissie as she falls asleep in her arms, she looks into her eyes and realises how much she looks like Sandy. The tears begin to line her eyes as she wonders where Sandy is now, what she's doing. Why would she leave her husband and baby for Danny, it didn't make sense.  
  
Anton stands in his office talking to Ed about the days work and the patients that he had to clear up, Ed's face showing a look of real admiration for Anton as he speaks.  
  
Anton: Walk with me Mr Keating, I have places to get to.  
  
Ed and Anton walk out of the room.  
  
Anton: And so she was left with the tumours, even with the risk of spreading?  
  
Ed: Afraid so.  
  
Anton: Ok, Mr Keating, this will be a hard one, I have my up most faith in you, but we do not yet know how much the cancer has spread.  
  
Anton places some files into a nurses arms as he passes her, she smiles and carries on walking in the opposite direction.  
  
Anton: How old is she?  
  
Ed: thirty-five, so young.  
  
Anton: Indeed so Mr Keating, a reason that we must remove all the tumours and save her, is it not?  
  
Ed nods as they walk into surgery, the doors slamming firmly shut behind them.  
  
(The piece of music- He sleeps, from the soundtrack to pretty woman plays in the background.)  
  
Nic sits alone in his bedroom, the tears never ceasing to stop and the pain growing ever harder to bear. He falls back onto the bed and cries aloud for the loss of his wife. He then looks quietly over to the empty place next to him, quiet and lonely, and breaks down into increasingly more tears. He places his head deeply into his hands and lays curled into his bed sobbing gently.  
  
Sarah sits alone in the ward of Holby when a man appears from the shadows and places his hand firmly onto her shoulder; she swings the chair around to see who it is.  
  
Sarah: Steve!  
  
Steve: Hello Darlin'  
  
A look of horror and fear spreads over her face, grabbing at the phone, but he pushes it off the desk, smashing it onto the floor.  
  
The camera zooms out from the phone showing Steve grabbing Sarah and trying to pry her off her chair, the Holby theme tune going all the while.  
  
Part 3.  
  
Kath walks slowly into the ward, at the sight of Sarah lying unconscious on the floor she rushes over and places her hand to Sarah's heart. She lifts Sarah up and lies her flat onto her back, rising once more to look for help.  
  
Kath: Tash!  
  
Tash comes running over, stopping in her tracks seeing Sarah lying there; she kneels down beside her and places her ear to her heart.  
  
Tash: Help me lift her to a bed please Kath, she's lucky we found her.  
  
She smiles and the two of them lift Sarah up and onto the trolley exchanging, frantic, worried looks. The wheel her over to a bed and lift her from the trolley slowly onto it.  
  
Tash: We will need to get her down to AAU, to get her checked over but if you wouldn't mind giving her a quick once over.  
  
Tash turns on her heels to walk out of the ward but Kath pulls out her hand and grabs Tash's arm.  
  
Kath: Tash, wait.  
  
Tash: What is it?  
  
Kath: It might have been her ex-husband Steve, the building will have to be searched, and the police will need to be notified.  
  
Tash: Whoever did this wouldn't have waited behind, but I'll go and phone them, it may take a while though. The phones been smashed on the floor, shows sign of a struggle so it seems it was an attack.  
  
Kath: Since when have you been a police woman?  
  
Tash laughs lightly and walks off towards the doors smiling slightly as she closes them firmly behind her. She had grown as a person since she left; she had seen things many couldn't even imagine. She knew the way people's minds worked and all about attacks, dealing with them often as a surgeon, you can just tell.  
  
Nic turns over in bed and places his arm out, feeling the space next to him he opens his eyes and the harsh reality of it all hits him once again. He lifts his head off the pillow and Lisa comes in through the door wearing a mans tee-shirt and holding a mug of tea in her hands drinking deeply from it.  
  
Lisa: Morning sleepyhead.  
  
He looks up and smiles lightly; did he sleep with her last night? He knew he had a lot to drink but, he couldn't have?  
  
Nic: Did I?  
  
Lisa giggles and places the mug onto the bedside table, sitting herself on the bed and smiling at him.  
  
Lisa: Wouldn't you just love to know!  
  
Sarah's eyes begin to flutter open slowly adjusting to the light that is shining brightly through the window. She looks up, the terror of the night before rushing into her head once more.  
  
Sarah: Steve?  
  
Kath looks up from Sarah's notes at the sound of her voice and goes over and takes her hand gently.  
  
Kath: He's not here, it's me, Kath.  
  
Sarah: Ohh Kath.  
  
The tears begin to fall rapidly from her eyes in a flurry of fear and shock, she sobbs gently between words, never ceasing to stop the tears.  
  
Sarah: He just. attacked me. he was... was. watching me. and he.he.I think he.. he. tried..  
  
Kath looks into Sarah's frightened eyes and brushes the hair away from her face smiling gently. How could Steve have done this to such a lovely woman?  
  
Kath: To kill you?  
  
Sarah nods gently, showing the rough bruising on her arm made by his hands gripping tightly to her arm  
  
Sarah: He pulled me to the floor, when I. struggled. too much. he.he. said that I was better off. off. dead. and threw me into the desk. and just.just. left me.  
  
Kath kneels down beside Sarah and takes her hand, talking deeply to her and looking into her eyes, she needed someone and Kath was all she had.  
  
Kath: It's ok Sarah, its ok, you don't have to go through it if you don't want to, he's not coming back for you again, I promise.  
  
Sarah: I was so scared.  
  
She carries on crying into her pillow softly, she raises a hand to her head and rubs it gently, the pain was bearable, just about.  
  
Sarah: What's the damage?  
  
Kath: Nothing too major, a few bruised ribs, one fractured, a major bump on your head and that's about it. The bump doesn't seem to have caused any trouble to your memory, so you will be back to work in a few weeks.  
  
Sarah: I don't want to go home, not alone!  
  
Kath: I wish I could help but, Adam has a spare room in his flat, I'm sure he would let you stay at his.  
  
Sarah nods and turns her head the other way, she didn't want to face people, just to hide away and never come out again.  
  
Lisa and Jess stand in the corridor talking as they put the notes at the ends of the patient's beds.  
  
Jess: He can't remember if he did or not? What made him think he did?  
  
Lisa: I happened to be wearing one of his shirts!  
  
Jess: So you didn't?  
  
Lisa: Course not! But its funny watching him trying to remember, it will take his mind off Sandy for a bit.  
  
The two of them walk of laughing, and Lisa looks over to Nic who in turn goes bright red setting off Jess again.  
  
Kath sits by Sarah's side still looking down to the floor, hiding tears, it brought back memories of when she was with Simon and Ric had been there for her, the first time she allowed herself to realise how she really felt about him.  
  
Kath: Ric would have been really good if he was still here.  
  
Sarah: I know he would have, the way you talk about him he sounds like a remarkable man.  
  
Kath: He was.  
  
The door swings open and Tash comes through and places the notes on the table at the end of the bed.  
  
Tash: Looks like you will be going home tomorrow if you take things easy.  
  
Sarah: Has Adam said anything yet?  
  
Tash: He's making you up a bed as we speak.  
  
Sarah smiles and puts her arm to her chest, which would be a constant reminder of Steve, like he had said when he did it. She couldn't even think about him, each time she did the pain got too much to handle and the tears escaped the solitude of her lids, she didn't want to fall apart. Not this time.  
  
Lisa sighs walking up the ward, Nic was following her again, he wouldn't leave her alone until he knew the truth. She takes him by the collar and pulls him aside playing with his top affectionately.  
  
Lisa: If you must know, nothing happened, very tempting, but nothing happened.  
  
Nic smiles, relief running through him at last, at least he knew that he hadn't gone and got Lisa pregnant or anything, that would have been typical in his life, just to top all of his misery.  
  
Anton Meyer stands in surgery; he is being accompanied by Adam Richards.  
  
Adam: It's a pleasure to work with you Anton, I have heard so much about you.  
  
Anton: All good I hope,  
  
Adam: Of course, so we will need to remove the left lung.  
  
Anton: Indeed Mr Richards.  
  
He moves the lung around with his gloved finger and the holds out his blood stained hand.  
  
Anton: Scissors!  
  
Out of reach.  
  
Kath stands silently in the kitchen sipping from a mug of coffee; it falls to the floor spreading about her face full of horror. Steve has his hands tightening around her neck; he throws her n a rag doll fashion into the counter just as Sarah comes through the door to inquire in the noise.  
  
Sarah: Steve!  
  
The tears at once prickle in her eyes but she looks bravely into his face, doesn't break down and cower in the corner. The fear shows but she doesn't back down.  
  
Sarah: I don't want you any more Steve, just leave me alone!  
  
She bends down and begins to slowly examine Kath's head with her hands, Steve bends forward, grabs her hand and pushes her backwards into the cabernet base.  
  
Steve: I will NEVER leave you alone, Sarah, I love you!  
  
Sarah: You've got a funny way of showing it.  
  
She stands up and looks Steve defiantly into the face with utter disgust of his presence, he throws her into the side and pulls her onto the floor, shaking her violently.  
  
Steve: Why did you leave me, eh? Was I not good enough for you?  
  
Adam stands in the doorway horrified at what is happening before his eyes, without another thought he jumps forwards and grabs Steve off of Sarah.  
  
Adam: What do you think you're doing? Do you get some sort of weird kick out of beating defenceless women?  
  
Steve swings back his bloody hand but Adam dodges it and smiles at Steve, then right out of the blue his fist flies through the air with a mixture of rage and sorrow and smacks Steve onto the nose. He staggers forward and runs out of the kitchen his hand clenched over his bloody nose. Sarah stands slowly, shaking with emotion and falls into Adam's awaiting arms, sobbing gently into his, now blood stained, shirt. After a few minutes Sarah breaks free and kneels by Kath's side taking her hand. Adam jumps down onto his knees and checks for a pulse.  
  
Adam: She's still breathing, if we wait for an ambulance she might not make it, we need to get her to my car quickly.  
  
He lifts Kath silently into his arms and leads her out of the flat and into his car outside where he sits Sarah next to her. Sarah lifts her head, still shocked from the whole ordeal, she was the one perfectly fine from her husband?  
  
Sarah: Is she going to be ok?  
  
Adam: I'm not going to lie to you Sarah; right now it looks very unhopeful.  
  
Sarah looks down onto Kath's pale face, how could she be dying, it had to be a terrible nightmare. It all seemed so unreal and all the while she knew she would never wake up from the living nightmare.  
  
Anton and Ed walk down the corridor towards the doors.  
  
Anton: There will be two casualties coming up here, one with a few minor contusions and the other in a coma.  
  
Ed: What happened?  
  
Anton: You know no more than me Mr Keating, I haven't yet received the notes, where are they. What do these people think they are playing at?  
  
Ed: Here they are.  
  
Kath is wheeled down the corridor on the trolley, her face looking ever paler. Sarah is stroking her face gently the tears falling gently down her kind fun-loving face.  
  
Anton: Kath!  
  
Ed: What happened?  
  
Anton: We don't have time for that now Mr Keating, we need to get her into Theatre ASAP, there could be some bleeding that could lead to a haemorrhage if we don't act quickly. Can you manage that Mr Keating?  
  
Ed looks up, a look of horror on his face but he nods gently not being able to surpass words. He gulps and takes the trolley once more wheeling her into theatre not able to look positive.  
  
Nic sits on his sofa flicking through the mail, his heart racing; he had found what he was hoping to receive. His fingers tremble as he goes to open the letter. His whole life could be thrown upside down again from one simple letter. He breathes in deeply and tosses it aside; he would deal with Sandy's letter later.  
  
Sarah sits outside theatre, Adams arm around her shoulders, she looks up as people come and go from in theatre. It never seemed this disturbing when she had been on the other end of it all. She turns towards Adam and stages a smile, Kath was her best friend here, she had helped her through a lot, and all she could do was sit and wait. Adam had obviously sensed what she was feeling as he looks up into her sorrowful eyes.  
  
Adam: Do you want me to go in there?  
  
Sarah: No, best not to disturb them, please stay here with me.  
  
She grips his shirt tightly and he nods slightly and holds her closer, allowing her to bury her head in his shirt. He lifts his hand slowly, not knowing if he should, and then places it onto her hair, playing with it softly. She pulls away and looks into his big blue eyes, knowing at once that he would never hurt her she leans forward and kisses him. Mr Meyer walks into the corridor, coughing as he comes. They look up, embarrassed to be caught like it and Sarah rushes over to Kath's trolley. She then looks towards Anton awaiting the feedback.  
  
Anton: She survived the operation, Sarah, there isn't much more I can tell you right now, we will have to see how it goes from here.  
  
Sarah nods silently, the tears springing to her eyes, there was so much she wanted to say to Kath, talk to her about Simon, and thank her for everything. So much she had to say but the trouble of never being able to say it.  
  
Nic looked up over the dash board trying hard to concentrate; his mind was still at home with the letter, what was he going to do. He looks up again from his day dream in time to see a figure slipping over the front of the car. He slams on the breaks unable to realise what he has done. Opening the door slowly, his eyes cast over the body lying lifeless on the ground before him. He kneels down in front of her, and checks for a pulse, would a woman die just because he had been thinking of his wife? Did she have children, a family? All the questions running through his head, he couldn't begin to wonder what to do, he picks up the phone, his hand trembling and dials 999.  
  
Sarah sits by Kath's side, stroking her forehead, would this be her last chance to say what she wanted? She looks towards the heart monitor that still battles on continually, Anton had said that she looked hopeful, but had he only said it for her sake?  
  
Anton is walking down a corridor with Ed, determined to go on, Kath was in hospital once again, but he had to be professional.  
  
Anton: I just heard news of an RTA coming down here from A&E, multiple head injuries, possible internal bleed. Page the on-call SHO; it seems Mr Derry has fallen suddenly ill.  
  
Ed: Sure thing, I'll be back in time for surgery.  
  
Anton nods and Ed rushes off, the tears beginning to fall down his cheeks, he knew more than most that Kath had such a slim chance of living. He stops outside the door of Kath's room, looking through the glass at Sarah sitting talking to her. For a few seconds he feels like telling her everything, how Kath has very little chance so she could prepare for the worst. He turns away, before he does anything stupid, and goes off to page the SHO.  
  
Nic stands watching from the sidelines as they battle to revive the woman he knocked down, no one knew it was him, but soon the questions would begin to come out. The surgeons, nurses and staff brush past him, he stares silently onto the woman as she slowly slips away, all because he had been thinking of that letter. The sound of the heart monitor beginning to flat line causes his daydreams to become reality, how could he have been so stupid?  
  
Kath looks around the room silently, her eyes only slightly open, she lifts a hand to her head, the pain beginning to show through. It had really happened then, but where was Sarah, she starts looking around frantically until her eyes rest on a woman coming through the door.  
  
Sarah: Kath! You're awake!  
  
Kath looks up and smiles into the familiar face, the feeling of loneliness subsiding a little all but the pain in her head.  
  
Nic and Anton stand in the corridor, a look of confusion on Nic's face and one of anger on Anton's.  
  
Anton: Nic! How could you? What were you thinking of?  
  
Nic: I.  
  
Anton: No excuses, Mr Yorke, now I have to send an inquiry, I'm busy as it is. I'm sure the family will need to be notified, and the police.  
  
Nic looks towards the floor, how could he have been so foolish?  
  
Anton: You do understand the seriousness of this matter don't you Nic? That woman died in there because of you and your stupid mistakes.  
  
Nic: I'm sorry ok!  
  
Nic pushes past Anton, tears of anger and resentment springing to his eyes, what was going to happen to his life from now on, he couldn't even begin to image it all.  
  
Kath sits up slightly in bed as Ed walks in the door, almost dropping all of his notes over the floor in pure shock.  
  
Kath: Ed?  
  
Ed: Wow, Kath, we didn't think you were going to get better. How long have you been awake?  
  
Sarah: about ten minutes now.  
  
She smiles and places her hand onto Kath's, rubbing it gently, knowing that it was her fault that Kath almost died. She couldn't help but wonder what she would have felt like if she did die.  
  
Ed: Why did no one tell me? How are you feeling, Kath?  
  
Kath: I'm ok, I guess, its just weird to be here again.  
  
Sarah: I'm sorry, it should never have happened.  
  
The tears spring to her eyes once again but Kath looks up into them sympathetically, gripping her hand tightly.  
  
Kath: It wasn't your fault.  
  
Nic sits at home, his shaking hands clasped around the letter, the letter that had thrown his life upside down as he had predicted. If even not reading it could do that to him, what would happen if he did? He had reached his final conclusion; he stands up and rips the letter into shreds before tossing it into the fire that crackles peacefully in front of the sofas. He looks down onto the paper as it softly curls in the flames, the tears starting to roll down his cheeks. Had he just saved himself, or made a huge mistake once again?  
  
Adam and Sarah stand in the corridor alone, him stroking her hair gently smiling lovingly into her bright green eyes.  
  
Sarah: About earlier. I.  
  
He lifts his finger slowly to her lips and shuts his eyes, bending forward and removing his hand. They stand in the corridor, oblivious to the world around them, kissing passionately.  
  
Kath looks up from her bed, into the window that shows the corridor, she smiles gently and then turns over to her side. She was glad that Sarah had finally found someone she could trust, that wouldn't mess her around. Just seeing the couple together brought back painful memories of Ric, something she didn't want to live her life dwelling in.  
  
Nic looks up as a hand rests itself on his shoulder, he looks up into Lisa's reassuring face and takes her hand. She turns around and sits beside him, gazing into the crackling fire.  
  
Lisa: What are you going to do?  
  
Nic: I'm not sure, I'm so confused. Lisa, before I forget, my first few weeks at Holby.. I'm sorry for how harsh I was.  
  
She smiles and shakes her head gently taking his hand, she still had feelings for him, but she knew now wasn't the time for reminiscing.  
  
Lisa: Don't worry about that, I just hope that things are going to be ok.  
  
He takes her hand and kisses it gently taking it to his chest and holds it there smiling deeply into her reassuring eyes. He leans forward but Lisa takes his shoulder and holds him back.  
  
Nic: What's wrong?  
  
Lisa: Nothing, it's just.  
  
He takes her hand once again and strokes it silently, he didn't need words, the two of them grew closer together once again. They begin to kiss, not caring about anyone else, but the moment is ruined by Jess walking through the door and dropping her bag, the contents spreading over the floor, due to shock. Lisa and Nic look up, embarrassed, and rush off around the room to do other things.  
  
Adam pulls Sarah down onto the couch, on top of him; she lies giggling there for a second before kissing his nose softly. He pulls her closer, holding her in his warm embrace breathing in her comforting smell.  
  
Adam: You're beautiful.  
  
She sighs and places her hand onto his head, smoothing away his hair.  
  
Sarah: You only want me for my body!  
  
He giggles pulling her down, kissing her gently, they lie together silently, no fear of the future anymore. The Holby theme tune starts as the camera zooms out slowly around the couple.  
  
Stand by me.  
  
Nic rolls over in bed and looks around the room, his eyes slowly adjusting to the light. Lisa strolls casually into the room with Chrissie in her arms, singing softly to her. He lifts his head up and smiles at her, thoughts rushing to his head. It was the day of his trial; he looks over to the suit hanging on the wardrobe and sighs gently.  
  
Lisa: Don't worry about it, Nic, you didn't do anything wrong.  
  
Nic: We both know I did, I can't stand up there and lie to them all!  
  
Lisa: You're pleading guilty?  
  
Nic looks down towards the floor, the tears beginning to prickle his eyes; Lisa takes her hand and lifts his head gently as he nods silently.  
  
Anton stands in his office, Ed faithfully standing by his side, joined by Tom Campbell-Gore.  
  
Anton: Tom.  
  
Tom: Anton.  
  
Ed: You're filling in for Anton?  
  
Tom looks around him, smiling silently to himself, then straightening up he looks Ed into his wide eyes.  
  
Tom: Yes, Mr Keating, and if you have a problem with that then you should go and contact Jan Goodard, I'm sure she would be interested in knowing about the situation back last year in my kitchen.  
  
Anton looks towards the two men, obviously confused, but Ed looks more confident and professional.  
  
Ed: Of course.  
  
Anton: Very well then, I believe that I have a trial to be getting to. I will see you later Mr Keating, Tom.  
  
Kath sits alone in her hospital bed, thoughts rushing through her head, she hadn't time to think yesterday, but her silent thoughts and silent tears are interrupted by Sarah slipping into the room, sitting by her side once again.  
  
Kath: I just keep remembering when I was with Simon; all the times he hit me, all becoming one.  
  
Sarah: It's in the past now, Kath, remember what you told me, things that are the most hurtful are the hardest to forget, but once forgotten keeping them there is hard, but bringing them back up is harder. Listen to your own advice Kath, forget about him.  
  
Kath: It's hard to forget.  
  
Sarah: But harder to remember.  
  
Kath smiles slightly, rubbing Sarah's hand gently, she was right, of course. As she always was. She couldn't live her life being forever reminded of Simon; she had to get him out of her head, the sooner the better.  
  
Nic looks across the court as it slowly fills, his eyes beginning to blur with terrified tears, it was all her fault, and he couldn't even find words to tell anyone. Anton stands at the front of the judge, he looks over to Nic and gives him a light smile, he knew that there was more that Nic wasn't saying. Lisa looks over to Nic, smiling slightly, the last time she had been in court had been for Kath's trial. She stands up quickly and runs out, in her eyes, justice was never found in court.  
  
Sarah and Kath are still sitting in the ward; an understanding silence is between them as they sit thinking, their thoughts carrying them away. Adam slips through the door, unnoticed until he coughs.  
  
Adam: Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you.  
  
Sarah: Don't worry about it.  
  
Kath: You two go, I'll be ok on my own.  
  
Sarah shoots a frightened look towards Kath, needing not to speak. Kath looks over at Adam and smiles.  
  
Kath: Adam, go home and get showered, I need to talk to Sarah a minute.  
  
He walks out of the room, the door slamming slightly behind him and Kath turns her confused gaze towards Sarah who puts her head in her hands.  
  
Sarah: How can I ever trust a man again?  
  
The tears fell silently down her face, Kath takes her hand and wipes them away, exactly how Ric had done for her.  
  
Kath: You know that you can trust Adam, he's a good man, you can't live your life thinking that every man that comes along will be another Steve. Life doesn't work like that.  
  
Sarah nods, knowing that she is right, of course, Kath was usually right especially when it came to Steve.  
  
Sarah: I had best go and find Adam.  
  
Kath: And make the most of him, he's a nice guy.  
  
Sarah nods silently again; Kath had made her life sound so easy, picking her up even when she was further down than herself.  
  
Nic stands at the bench, his head facing towards the floor as his whole life was decided before him, and there was nothing he could do about it. The tears pour down his face, tears of confusion and hurt.  
  
Judge: Nicholas Yorke, we are here today to decide whether you are guilty of manslaughter. You pleaded not guilty?  
  
Nic: Yes your honour.  
  
Judge: The foreman of the jury will now give us their decision.  
  
Nic looks over at the foreman who stands slowly, gathering up her papers. She looks around at the court and smiles then coughs slightly.  
  
Foreman: The jury have reached their decision, we find thee Nicholas Yorke not guilty of all charges.  
  
Nic looks around, tears of joy swelling in his eyes, a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. But he still looks slightly nervous, Anton knew he had done it, all because of that stupid letter, but he can't help wondering if it would have been different if he had read it.  
  
Sarah pushes the door open looking around the flat, she sighs, it is empty, maybe she wanted it that way. She sits down on the couch but then feels someone behind her, playing with her hair. She jumps and turns around to see Adam, who smiles lovingly into her green eyes. She laughs slightly, all would be ok, if he was here, nothing could ever go wrong in her life.  
  
Adam: I missed you.  
  
Sarah: and you I.  
  
Adam: What did Kath want?  
  
Sarah: It doesn't matter now; all that matters is that I am here with you.  
  
She walks over to him and places his arms around his waist snuggling her head deeply into his shirt, he pulls her away and smiles pulling her close once again, he kisses her on the forehead then holds her in his warm embrace once more.  
  
Sarah: I love you.  
  
She stands back, worried, why did she say that, Steve had shown her "love" and look where it had got her. He places his finger calmly on her trembling lips. Bends forward and whispers into her ear.  
  
Adam: I love you too.  
  
Nic walks out of the courts, not looking where he is going, not caring, the letter still on his mind. He still hasn't come to terms with being let off and now all the regrets of yesterday hit him like a bomb on a cold day. Lisa walks slowly up behind him, placing her hand tenderly on his shoulder.  
  
Lisa: Nic, you did it, WE did it!  
  
Nic: Lisa look. about the other night.  
  
Lisa: You're regretting it?  
  
Nic: Lisa, I was upset. I didn't know what to do. You don't understand.  
  
Lisa: I think I understand fully!  
  
She walks off across the car park, Nic looking past her silently for a few moments, and then his gaze slowly slips towards the ground once again. The pain showing in his confused eyes, he didn't want her to be angry at him. He lifts out his arm in her wake as if to call her back but thinks the better of it. He turns away silently the tears falling after him, why did his life never go right?  
  
Adam and Sarah stand in the hallway, him stroking her hair away from her face, just as Steve always had for her. She takes his hand and holds it delicately in her own, smiling into his loving face.  
  
Sarah: Promise me you will never hurt me.  
  
Adam: A promise that means more to me than anything.  
  
He leans forward and kisses her, taking her hand and pulling it around him, they don't see anyone else in the world but each other. In their eyes, they are perfect.  
  
Nic looks into the fire where the letter had once burned, if he could only reverse the hands of time and re-produce that letter. He sits silently down onto the couch, his eyes still focused on the fire. The tears fall down his eyes gradually, the fire crackling slowly in front of them.  
  
Jess: Staring in there won't bring them back out.  
  
Nic turns around to see Jess standing in the doorway watching him silently; he places his sleeve to his face and wipes away the fallen tears.  
  
Nic: How long have you been there?  
  
Jess: Long enough to know you want that letter back.  
  
Nic looks towards the floor and Jess sweeps over to him, putting her arms around him, securing him tightly. He lifts his arms into the air slightly, not sure what to do but then he places them around her and cries into her shoulder.  
  
Kath looks up towards the door as Zubin comes through the door smiling at her, he sits on the chair by her bedside and smiles.  
  
Zubin: Good news Kath, you should be going home today.  
  
Kath: Thank you Professor Khan.  
  
Zubin: Please, call me Zubin.  
  
He smiles at her kindly and then takes her hand and rubs it gently with his thumb, smiling all the while.  
  
Sarah lies on the couch, her head rested in Adam's lap, he strokes her hair from her head silently as they watch the rain fall down the window outside. She looks up into his eyes and smiles, a feeling of satisfaction and true love finally in her heart.  
  
Nic stands alone, his head rested on the wall as he watches the rain splash to the floor, he leans forward obscuring his face from Lisa as she comes through the door, Ed standing by her side.  
  
Nic: Sorry if I interrupted anything.  
  
He pushes past her and storms through the door, leaving Lisa staring after him, in his wake.  
  
Lisa: NIC!!! Wait!  
  
Lisa falls back into Ed's arms; he pulls her close and kisses her on the back of her head, smiling she stands looking towards the door, Ed still behind her with his arms wrapped securely around her.  
  
Zubin strokes Kath's face silently with the back of her hand, she takes his hand with her own and holds it to her face, smiling into his trusting eyes.  
  
Nic walks into the park his eyes full of un-cried tears as he sits on the bench that Sandy had sat in on his wedding day. He places his head in his hands and sighs deeply, running his hands then through his head silently. How had he let his life get so out of hand, how had he let her slip away from him like water through his hands.  
  
Tash walks down the corridor next to Adam who has a huge smile on his face, she turns around and stops him.  
  
Tash: What's got you in such a good mood?  
  
Adam: Sarah, she's amazing.  
  
Tash: If you're always this happy and good at your work when your in love I want you to never break up with her.  
  
Adam looks down at the floor, not meeting her eyes.  
  
Tash: You do love her don't you?  
  
Adam: Of course I do. it's just. it's not round the hospital already is it?  
  
Tash laughs, shaking her head and leads him off down the corridor with her hand placed firmly on his shoulder.  
  
Sarah sits on the bed, the tears streaming down her face, she gets up quickly and locks all the windows and then collapses back onto the bed in flurries of held back tears.  
  
Sarah: It hurts to be alone.  
  
She can't help but be afraid that he will come after her, even if Adam was there he could attack her, but with him at work, the reality is more vivid than ever.  
  
Ed pulls Lisa towards him, swinging her around gently; she laughs playfully and tugs at his collar. She reels him in by it and kisses him tenderly on the lips, throwing him silently onto the couch.  
  
Kath sits with Zubin, still in the ward, staring into each others eyes, transfixed, the minutes pass and Zubin strokes her face once again and she laughs, her eyes coming alive once again.  
  
Zubin: Kath, you're an amazing woman.  
  
Kath: I. I.  
  
Zubin: Shhhh  
  
He takes the back of her head and leans forward, kissing her, she pulls away silently and looks into his wide eyes.  
  
Zubin: I thought that was what you wanted.  
  
Kath: I do, but look.  
  
Zubin turns around to see Chrissie, Sarah and Tash staring through the window, smiling slightly.  
  
Zubin: Let them watch.  
  
He leans forward once again, taking her into his warm embrace, kissing her, her heart monitor starts beating madly and they separate once again, laughing.  
  
The nurse turns to Sarah and smiles at her, gripping her shoulder lightly, needing not to say words.  
  
Sarah: I'm happy for her, she finally has what she has wanted.  
  
nurse: Its early days yet.  
  
Tash: Kath deserves someone special, Professor Khan is a good man.  
  
Nurse: Sure is, Tash.  
  
The three turn away and separate at the doors, all of them looking back into the ward, Zubin still leaning over Kath whispering sweet nothings in her ear, her eyes gleaming once again. Sarah stops down the corridor and sits on a chair, thinking silently. The last person she had truly let into her life had destroyed her, in her mind, soul and took away all her dignity. How can she ever trust Adam? The thoughts of him holding her tight in his arms keep flowing into her mind, and the tears stop falling as a loving gaze falls over her sombre face.  
  
Adam: Are you ready to go yet?  
  
She looks up to see Adam standing beside her with his hand outstretched, she smiles into his loving eyes and takes his hand, allowing him to lead her out of the ward. They walk off into the distance him taking her arm and placing it around her waist. She has forgotten it all so easily, any doubts she has wash away with one look into his face.  
  
Tash walks across the café and sits silently at the table; the memories of Mel come flooding back to her, the tears burning in her eyes. It is a new start and so she is determined to fight back the tears, not to cry. Thoughts rushing through her mind like canon balls she places her head into her hands and brushes back her hair, sighing deeply.  
  
Kirstie: Tash?!  
  
Tash looks up from her thoughts, her mind being sent into total oblivion again, she sees Kirstie Collins walking across the café smiling deeply at her. Tash stands up sending the chair crashing to the ground, but she doesn't notice.  
  
Tash: Kirstie! I... I had no idea what happened to you!  
  
Tash goes to sit down, almost falling over until she takes her chair and seats it up again; she was like a young school kid, making foolish, stupid mistakes. She hadn't seen Kirstie in so long and she just let it go, let her guard down for a second, in one second so much can happen. Kirstie takes the chair opposite Tash and seats herself smiling onto it, this is not what she expected at all, the look of utter shock on her face telling all.  
  
Kirstie: It looks like I'm back here, for good.  
  
Tash: But this time, Kirstie, don't just leave, stand by me.  
  
Kath sits by the fire, Zubin with his arm protectively around her, they smile as they sit talking to each other, talking about their pasts, the first time they saw each other, everything.  
  
Adam pulls Sarah towards him once more, protecting her from everything, she looks up at him and smiles deeply into his caring face.  
  
Sarah: I love you Adam.  
  
Adam: I love you too.  
  
The Holby theme tune starts again as the sun sets over the horizon, the faces of the Lisa and Ed, Sarah and Adam, Kath and Zubin fading in and out of it in turn.  
  
Secrets, tears and fairy tales.  
  
Lisa sits staring dreamily out of the window, the rain still falling silently outside, maybe the rain would wash away the guilt that lie inside her. Ed walks up beside her placing his hand onto the window sill and his other on her shoulder. He looks out of the window and speaks to her, not taking his eyes away from the rain splashing onto the ground far below.  
  
Ed: Its terrible weather out there, but you know what?  
  
Lisa looks up at him smiling turning her eyes slowly back to the rain.  
  
Lisa: What?  
  
Ed: You brighten up even the dullest day; you brighten up my whole life.  
  
Lisa turns her amazed stare up to Ed, her face brightening up as he smiles down on her, he holds out his hand and she takes it. Sweeping her up into her eyes he whispers words of love softly into her ear, his hot breath making her laugh.  
  
Nic sits impatiently by the phone; his hand often reaches out as if to pick up the receiver, awaiting someone to phone. A look of deep longing in his eyes shows through as he looks up, Jess walking into the ward. He takes his gaze back to the phone and Jess goes off to the patients, shooting him a worried look. She walks off, leaving a patient alone, and stands beside him, looking at the phone, waiting for something to happen.  
  
Jess: Err. Nic. are you ok?  
  
Nic: I'm fine, I had best get up to Darwin, I was told I should be working up there.  
  
He turns off quickly, jess looking from Nic to the phone before she sees his address book lying open on the desk next to his mobile. She picks them up and holds them in her hands calling for him.  
  
Jess: Nic!!  
  
Nic doesn't turn back, probably doesn't hear her, and just carries on along the corridor at a brisk pace, almost a run. Jess stares after him and places the items back onto the desk, sighing sympathetically, these days Nic was so distant, he obviously still missed Sandy.  
  
Lisa looks up at Ed as he pulls her away from him, looking silently, deeply into her eyes, a look of deep content on his face. He takes her hand as he walks towards the door.  
  
Ed: I had best be back to work.  
  
He walks off out the door, Lisa with her hand still outstretched in his wake, her face alive with feeling and emotion. She sits down onto the bed, the same look of longing that Nic had on his face now showing on her own.  
  
Nic crosses Darwin and Sarah comes up beside him, looking confused.  
  
Sarah: Nic, what are you doing up here? Shouldn't you be in AAU?  
  
He looks up into her confused face and nods silently, he is confused and even Sarah can tell that, no matter how busy she is. She sits him down in her office sitting in front of him, bent over awaiting him to tell her what the problem is. There is an awkward silence in which Nic coughs looking at Sarah his eyes brimming with lonely tears.  
  
Sarah: Nic, I know its none of my business but. what's wrong?  
  
Nic: It doesn't matter, and you're right, it's none of your business!  
  
He walks out of the office, the door slamming loudly behind him; Sarah looks hurtfully towards it, gathers up her hair and follows him out of it, pushing the tears back. It isn't her fault that Nic had problems, but she still looks sympathetically over to him, she can't be angry when he is so upset. She watches him run out of the ward and then turns around to a patient who is trying to grab her attention.  
  
Adam walks across the ward Tash walking a few paces behind, her mind elsewhere; back with Kirstie in the café, it seems so far away now, a distant dream amidst many others that she had encountered recently. They approach a patient and Adam picks up the notes, smiling at the patient stupidly.  
  
Adam: Ah, Miss Hardly, I assume you are here to try and find out what this lump on the lower abdomen is?  
  
Ana Hardly: That was generally the idea.  
  
Mrs Hardly: Any idea's what it is? Sorry about her.  
  
Adam: We have our idea's yes, any sickness, fever, bruising of any kind?  
  
Mrs Hardly: She has been rather sick and feverish surely that was just a bug, you know how it is in these high schools, things spread quickly.  
  
Adam: That's what we are trying to confirm.  
  
Ana: Do I get no say in this? Frankly I don't want to be cooped up in this place anyways. Its nothing, just let me go.  
  
Tash: I know your scared Ana, but you really need to be in hospital right now, ok?  
  
Tash and Adam walk out onto the ward, Adam slipping the notes back on to the end of the bed as he goes.  
  
Tash: Doesn't look good does it?  
  
Adam: I'm suspecting chronic myeloid leukaemia, all the symptoms are there, I know I haven't dealt with many patients, but in my training I met a girl with it and.  
  
Tash: Lets not get ahead of ourselves Adam, it could still be a bug for all we know.  
  
They reach the desk where Kath is filing, as usual, but looks up when Tash comes up beside her.  
  
Tash: We need bloods when you are ready Kath.  
  
Adam: and page the oncologist, we may be needing him down here.  
  
Kath: Right away.  
  
Sarah stands in Darwin looking very confused and annoyed, Anton Meyer turns to her, he too obviously very annoyed.  
  
Anton: I asked for Mrs Allen t have been assessed over an hour ago and yet she has seen no one!  
  
Sarah: Honestly, these agency nurses, they just wander around flapping bits of paper.  
  
Sarah cranes her neck backwards looking around the ward frantically, this was something she couldn't handle, working mostly alone.  
  
Sarah: Now where the hell has she gone?  
  
Anton looks much taken aback by the sheer forwardness of Sarah but he dismisses it and proceeds, after all she is under a lot of pressure.  
  
Anton: You are in charge Miss Jenkins.  
  
Sarah: I'm fully aware of that but.  
  
Anton: No buts Miss Jenkins, if you cannot handle your job I'm sure I can find someone with more capabilities anyways.  
  
Sarah: I'll be right to it!  
  
She turns back to the other nurse on the ward, who is dodging Sarah as best she can but turns rapidly to her when she speaks.  
  
Sarah: Will someone find that nurse? God, do I have to do everything around here? Hello! Yes that nurse!  
  
The nurse smiles and goes off to find the agency's mess up of a nurse, all the while Adam comes up behind Sarah, slipping his hands around her waist.  
  
Adam: You know, you're cute when you're angry.  
  
She laughs and turns around allowing Adam to sweep her into his arms like he always did, all her troubles blowing away. She looks up and suddenly realises where she is.  
  
Sarah: What are you doing down here?  
  
Adam: Trying to find the oncologist, and I came to see you.  
  
Sarah: The people in this place, you have to go on a wild goose chase to find anyone even when it's really important.  
  
Sarah turns and storms off towards some patients leaving Adam laughing quietly and shaking his head.  
  
Nic stands alone on the roof, trying to clear his head, he can't think about anything, everything is just merging into one in his head and he can't separate it. He breaths in deep, the fresh air soothing him slightly, the wind whipping at his face.  
  
Nic: Where are you now Sandy?  
  
He looks down into the car park where Lisa is getting into a car with Ed and sighs, that could have been him. But maybe it still could, he runs down the stairs not looking behind him, he had to get down there, and fast. As he reaches the car park Ed's car slowly pulls out but Lisa's face is still visible through the window, smiling at him. Nic begins to smile and laugh once again; maybe Lisa felt the same way.  
  
Kath approaches Adam; some notes in her hand, looking unsure whether she should give them to him, after all where is Tash.  
  
Adam: Ahh these must be Ana Hardly's test results!  
  
He takes them out of her hand smiling as he rips open the envelope; he again turns back to Kath, the smile dropping from his face.  
  
Adam: We need to arrange for a bone marrow sample to be taken from Ana's hip, I'm sure the oncologist is busy, I can do it. If you could just get her ready for it, I should be available in fifteen minutes.  
  
Kath: Won't you be needing to talk to her mother?  
  
He nods and follows Kath into the bed where Ana sits, agitated, her mother rushes over as Adam approaches and he leads her off to the side.  
  
Adam: We will be needing to take a bone marrow sample from the back of her hipbone, just to rule out any possibilities.  
  
Mrs Hardly: What do you think it is?  
  
Adam: Right now we are unsure; the bone marrow sample should clear that up for us. She may have a slight discomfort for a few days but the results should be with us by the end of the week.  
  
Tash walks up beside them and smiles slightly at Mrs Hardly.  
  
Tash: Adam, why wasn't I informed of what was going on.  
  
Adam: Excuse us.  
  
Tash leads him off by the arm, pulling him aside in the ward reception, the anger showing in her hurt eyes. She was in charge, she didn't feel in charge in her love life or anything else, she needed it here.  
  
Adam: Tash, I'm sorry, but I didn't know where you were!  
  
Tash: You could have paged me Mr Richards, you know that, and it COULD have waited until I got here.  
  
Adam: I know, but I really wanted to get this test out of the way.  
  
Tash: What test?  
  
Adam: A bone marrow sample needs to be taken, I think that my idea of leukaemia is right, I don't know if I got the right type, the pathologist can tell us that.  
  
Tash: I'm fully aware of the procedure Mr Richards, but that gives you no excuse to be taking matters into your own hands! And by the way, we often get things right, but in these moments is when you need to think more. We don't want you messing things up.  
  
He looks towards the floor, his fists clenched and tears welling in his eyes, for once his life is going great, why does this have to happen?  
  
Adam: Sorry Miss Bandara.  
  
Tash: Just think next time ok?  
  
She can't be angry at him, no matter how hard she tries, she can tell he is hurting, and just because she is it doesn't mean that it's all his fault. She remembers what it was like all that time ago. As she walks off she mutters to herself.  
  
Tash: Work doesn't get into my personal life, pull yourself together Tash. You're stronger than this!  
  
Lisa sits at the dining table, her face illuminated by the soft glow of the candle that sits before her. She checks her watch, 5:00, as Ed comes through the door, the plates of food held in his arms. He sees her and spins them around, trying to impress her, sending the dinner falling to the floor with a smash of broken china. He gets to the floor trying to clear it up, Lisa helping him. They raise heads to look at each other simultaneously causing them to hit heads. They fall into eruptions of laughter, Lisa's beautiful dress covered in the remains of the curry he had prepared.  
  
Adam crosses the ward, not looking at anything in front of him, his head pounding and his emotions running high. He had made the right diagnosis; couldn't Tash just be proud of him? He slumps into a chair in the corner, Tash seating herself beside him, looking very guilty.  
  
Tash: I'm sorry.  
  
Adam: It should be me apologising, I.  
  
Tash: Wait! I shouldn't have let my personal life get in the way and I should have listened to you. You are a good surgeon.  
  
His face lights up once again, as if her approval means the world to him, he smiles, squeezing her knee and goes off across the ward, Tash soon in his wake.  
  
Kath sits by in front of the couch, beside the fire, Zubin on the couch, playing with her hair. He whips her up suddenly into his arms, her giggling all the while, and flicks on some music. They stand dancing slowly to 'Forever and for always' Kath breathing in deeply from his shoulder.  
  
Lisa sits curled up on the couch, Ed beside her, them both eating from fish and chips that sit warming there laps as they watch television.  
  
Ed: This wasn't how I planned this evening. I wanted it to be special.  
  
Lisa: It is special, I'm here with you aren't I?  
  
He smiles and slips off of the couch, getting down on one knee, an astonished yet happy look spreads across Lisa's face.  
  
Ed: Also something I didn't plan for this to be like but, Lisa Fox, will you marry me?  
  
Lisa: Yes, Ed, yes I will!  
  
He slips the ring gently on her finger, beaming up at her, this is all he ever wanted, someone he loved and that loved him back. He curls up on the sofa once more with her, breathing in the soft smell of her hair, that was a smell he would remember for eternity.  
  
"I will always love you" by Whitney Huston plays softly in the background, Kath pulls away from Zubin, tears springing to her eyes. She buries her head in her hands sobbing continuously on the sofa. He runs over to her, placing his arm around her, pulling her close.  
  
Zubin: What's the matter Kath?  
  
Kath: That was mine and Ric's. song.  
  
She buries her head further in her hand, the tears coming more strongly to her eyes; she is unable to hold them back.  
  
Kath: We shouldn't be doing this Zubin; I have only just broken up with Ric.  
  
He takes his hand and lifts her head up gently to meet his caring eyes, the tears brimming in his own now.  
  
Zubin: Kath, Ric wouldn't want you to live the rest of your life unloved because he left us, and I know my wife wouldn't have either. (she starts to look down so he gets closer, speaking louder as he lifts her head once more to meet his eyes) They are watching over us now and they are waiting for us, wanting us to be happy, and if happy is together they don't mind. Love isn't all fairytales we have our ups and downs, but it doesn't mean I don't love you, because I don't know about you but I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I don't mean now, but some day I want to marry you Kath, and for you to become Mrs Khan, for us to grow old together, reminiscing about the past.  
  
She looks up at him, her face still full of much forgotten tears, wiping them away with her sleeve she smiles at him. This was the new start she had been waiting for, he was right, maybe it wasn't all fairytales but she is damned sure that she's going to make it one with a happy ending.  
  
Adam walks down the corridor towards Ana's bed, his head held high. Tash had allowed him to do it alone and he has to prove that he can do this, for the sake of Ana, Tash, himself and for Sarah. A smile spreads over his face just thinking about Sarah, at least he didn't have to go home with leukaemia, Ana might have to. He smiles again cheerfully as he draws the curtains around her bed.  
  
Adam: If you could just turn on your side.  
  
He draws out a hypodermic needle, as Ana turns around, her mother smoothing out her soft hair. The tears falling silently and freely from Ana's eyes as she grips her mother's hand, fifteen is no age to be faced with such a thing.  
  
Nic sits alone in his flat, thoughts running through his mind, how could he have let every woman he had ever loved just slip away from him? A single lone tear falls down his cheek as he looks into the empty fireplace. It reminded him of his heart, was once filled with warmth and fire but now an empty grate where Sandy's letter had burned and been lost forever. He takes his hand and wipes away the tear that had previously fallen, he has to get his life back on track, if it's the last thing he does.  
  
Kath stands looking into Zubin's eyes, her face still gleaming from the forgotten tears, she leans forward and kisses him tenderly on the lips.  
  
Kath: Just promise me that you won't ever hurt me, Zubin, don't put me through it again.  
  
The tears begin to spring to her eyes once again, but he looks her silently in the eyes, smiling gently at her. He runs his fingers gently over her face and leans forward whispering into her ear.  
  
Zubin: I love you Kath, let's put the past behind us, don't dwell in it, the future is what's ahead of us now.  
  
Tash sits alone in the café where she had last seen Kirstie, she swirls the spoon around in the cup of coffee that sits before her. She lifts her hand to her head and sweeps away her hair, showing a look of loneliness and pain on her face, reflected in her tears. Kirstie walks through the door, looking down on Tash, seating herself in front of her. She was back, but for how long this time? Is it worth the pain? She doesn't want to be alone, she wipes away the tears and looks across to Kirstie ordering two coffees and engaging in quiet conversation.  
  
(One Moment in Time by Whitney Huston plays in the background) Nic looks up as the door knocks, getting up and crossing the room is difficult due to the tears still lining his eyes. When he sees Lisa's face at the door he wraps his arms securely around her, sobbing silently into her shoulder, maybe she had finally come back for him! She pulls away looking into his hurting eyes, and nods, allowing him to take her inside. She takes the ring off her finger and slips it in her pocket; she will break it to him later, not now. He sits her quietly down onto the couch next to him; he leans forward silently taking the back of her head, pulling her into a passionate kiss. She places her own hands on the back of his head, pushing him down onto the couch.  
  
Ana Hardly sits up in her bed looking out of the window; the tears flow silently from her cheeks and fade at her lips. She looks around her, sighing deeply, she then looks up at the ceiling and lays onto her back, rubbing her hip, the place of the injection.  
  
Ana: Dad, its me again, I don't want to die, they think I don't know, but I'm not stupid, its leukaemia. Why can't they treat me like an adult?...  
  
Kath slips into the room unnoticed and busies herself at the side of it, trying not to disturb Ana.  
  
Ana: I'm really scared Dad, I know I'll see you again; its going to hurt though isn't it? Will you be waiting for me? Mum always said you would but I'm sure you expected to have had to have waited longer.  
  
The tears start to flow ever more rapidly, she sees Kath standing in the corner, and with the side of her gown she wipes away the tears. Kath wanders over to her, sitting on the edge of the bed, looking sympathetically towards her.  
  
Kath: We aren't sure what it is yet, Ana, don't give up. I know this is hard for you, but whatever you do, don't give up. Be strong, if only for your mother.  
  
Ana looks up, the tears being illuminated by the light in the room, her face a mask of determination. Kath squeezes her hand gently, the long night still ahead of her at work, and smiles at her, Ana is a good child, just scared. Kath crosses the room, still smiling towards her to find Zubin standing outside his arms outstretched.  
  
Kath: What are you like!  
  
Sarah crosses the bedroom, folding away her clothes as her long hair strays in front of her face. She brushes it back and sits on the bed, sorting out the pillows. That's the one bad thing about surgeons, so unpredictable, especially at nights. He stands in the doorway, looking down on her, he knew how long he had been standing there but as she sees him step out from the shadows she jumps and grabs at the quilt in front of her..  
  
The front door slams and he runs into the hallway, a sound of breaking china fills the bedroom. Tears fill Sarah's wide eyes as she looks around frantically. The house remains silent as Sarah grips to the quilt allowing the tears to fall, Adam wouldn't always be there to protect her, and she looks up as he stumbles in the room, blood pouring from his nose. He doesn't need words, it had been Steve and she would never be truly away from him, he sits himself on the bed and allows her to collapse in his arms where he strokes her hair gently.  
  
Lisa grabs up her clothes as she rushes around the bedroom, Nic rolling over. She holds her breath as he grunts and she runs out of the door, not looking behind her. She walks out into the street, tugging at her pockets, looking for the ring. She looks down onto her finger as she gets into the car, she can't go back there now. She looks over the dashboard squinting in the lights of the headlights.  
  
Sarah looks up in the darkness, the tears on her cheeks shining brightly from the moon beaming through the window. Adam smiles down on her, the blood still smeared across his face, but he doesn't mind the pain, all he wants is for Sarah to be ok. He pulls her close to him, her face still looking out into the window.  
  
Sarah: Wouldn't it be so easy to fly to the moon? Just to escape everything?  
  
Adam: Wouldn't it be easy to just run away, but we don't. We all have to go on, Sarah, please don't give up now.  
  
She pulls away from him, the tears flying across her face from sudden movement. Her face is full of hurt, pain and mostly a look of fear. She turns to face him, the tears falling steadily and silent once again, her voice wobbling and failing her.  
  
Sarah: Give me one good reason why?  
  
He takes her hand and looks lovingly in her eyes, his heart filling with love and adoration, it being reflected silently in his eyes and voice as he speaks.  
  
Adam: Because I love you.  
  
Lisa pulls up outside Ed's house and looks up towards it, sighing gently. She places her head on the steering wheel, her head pounding from the alcohol and her mind racing from what she had just done. A single, lone tear rolls down her cheek; she loves two men of which she can't choose. She drags herself out of the car; she can't stay there shivering in the cold all night. She creeps into the bedroom, sitting on the bedroom beside Ed who is deep in dreams and sleep.  
  
Lisa: All at once it's coming to me and I don't show it, but it hurts so much. I love you both. I'm best off alone, I don't want to be torn like this any more.  
  
She places her hand on his shoulder and runs her fingers up it, leading to his face which she strokes delicately. He begins to stir, opening his eyes slowly; he smiles at her softly as he sees her face looking down on him. He sees the tears, not wishing to ask he just sits up and places his arms securely around her.  
  
Ed: Its going to be ok, Lisa, whatever it is, I'm always here.  
  
Zubin and Kath stand in the corridor, silence in the ward all but their breathing slowly and quietly. Kath looks up into Zubin's eyes as he holds her in his arms, but out away from him. He admires her silently, the love showing deeply, passionately in his face.  
  
Kath: Sometimes life really is a fairytale.  
  
Zubin: My whole world is a fairytale since you walked into it; please let it be a happy ending.  
  
Kath: I won't, so long as you don't, remember all fairytales have happy endings. I love you, my own 'prince charming'.  
  
Part 2.  
  
Lisa stands on the pier staring at Nic who stands before her, his hand reaches out and strokes her hair gently. She places her hand onto his and holds it there, looking deeply into his eyes. She loves Ed so much, but what Nic gives her is excitement, secrecy and the fear of being caught. She leans forward and kisses him gently on the lips, the sun rising behind her. She had forgotten about crying late that night, forgotten what Ed had said, it was so far away now. She takes his hand, running off towards the car; Ed would be waking any time soon. She smiles at him gently, his hand outstretched as if she had never left his side. He looks towards the floor, smiling all the while, and heads off towards his car. As he sits in it he looks over to Lisa in her car, a look of pure love and compassion in his eyes.  
  
Ana sits in the ward, the tears still falling silently as they had all night. She looks up slowly as Kath enters the ward but soon her gaze falls back to her hands where she twiddles her fingers gently. She couldn't show them all how she felt. Kath walks over to her and places a hand on her shoulder, Ana looks up, the tears gleaming around her sullen face.  
  
Ana: Kath, I don't want to die, don't let me die.  
  
Kath: Its going to be ok, don't worry Ana.  
  
The tears well in Kath's eyes as she shuts the door to Ana's ward, she walks over to Adam who stands at the desk, she watches him impatiently.  
  
Adam: The results for Ana are in yes, the pathologist is just sending them up. oh Kath don't look at me like that. Didn't they tell you not to get involved in these things?  
  
She stares at him, breathing in deeply, holding back the tears. She nods and walks off towards the ward once again. Adam watches her silently for a few moments before turning back to the paperwork.  
  
Tash rolls over in bed hitting her hand on the alarm, her eyes flutter and survey the time, she jumps out of bed and begins to put on her clothes.  
  
Tash: 10:00, oh I'm so late!  
  
She falls into the corridor, trying to put her trousers on, she buttons them up as she strolls into the kitchen and grabs an apple. She puts it between her teeth as she grabs her coat and bag, takes the apple into her hand once more and rushes out of the room.  
  
Anton walks down the ward smiling generally, he nods towards some nurses and enters his office soon Ed follows him and stands by his side as faithfully as ever.  
  
Anton: I can see that someone has had a good night.  
  
Ed: I'm engaged!  
  
Anton: I see, just remember, keep your personal life at home, and don't bring it all to work.  
  
Ed nods and goes to walk out the door.  
  
Anton: Oh and Mr Keating. congratulations.  
  
Ed smiles and continues his journey out of the room and onto the ward, Sarah stands in the corner looking confident and brave, a good nurse. He walks over to her and leans himself on the desk.  
  
Ed: Any news on the RTA victim?  
  
Sarah: White male aged 45+ serious head injuries and a possible ruptured spleen. AAU are just bringing him up for surgery.  
  
Ed nods as the lift doors open and reveal Lisa pushing a man down the corridor towards Ed and Sarah. Tom Campbell-Gore lays unconscious on the bed, and Lisa looks down almost sympathetically at him.  
  
Ed: What happened?  
  
Sarah: Driving back from a previous night out drinking presumably, well that's what Jess said on the phone.  
  
Lisa: Possibly under the influence but they couldn't tell, he was in such a state they didn't have the heart to check. No one else was hurt, all but the tree he smashed into.  
  
Ed: How long has he been in here for?  
  
Lisa: What's with the 100 questions Ed? You know what he did to Chrissie, its all over now, treat him like any other patient.  
  
Ed: Ok, any idea's how he got in this mess, an alcoholic and everything.  
  
Lisa takes the files and walks over to the lifts, Ed tailing her, she presses the lift button and waits silently. She turns to him and places a hand on his shoulder.  
  
Lisa: It is his trial later tonight; maybe he was out after drinking and crashed.  
  
She sighs as the lift reaches the level and she walks onto it, smiling silently after Ed, he sees her finger as the lift closes.  
  
Ed: Lisa, your ring. It's gone.  
  
He turns round, defeated and heavy hearted, and walks across the ward to where Tom lies in the trolley as he wheels him off towards the beds. He mutters to Sarah in the background.  
  
Ed: Do we even have any beds; honestly, this bed shortage is getting way out of hand..  
  
Adam walks into Ana's ward, the envelope that encloses the results griped tightly in his hands. Tash comes up behind him and peers over at the envelope and nods. Mrs Hardly looks up at him from the chair beside Ana, stroking Ana's hair softly. Adam slowly opens the envelope and pulls out the results. His face looks sorrowful as he passes them over to Tash who coughs gently, clearing her throat.  
  
Tash: I'm afraid to say Ana that you have Chronic Myeloid Leukaemia. We will give you some time with your mother before we decide what course of medication to go ahead with.  
  
Ana: Is this the end?  
  
Adam: don't worry Ana, there is so much we can do now, just trust us ok?  
  
He walks out of the ward as the tears begin to spill from Ana's eyes; Mrs Hardly pulls her close and allows her to cry into her shoulder. She looks up trying to hold back the tears herself; a single tear manages to escape. She can't believe it her daughter is slipping slowly from her grip just as her husband had done. Maybe all that time ago she should have done it, taken that knife and ended it all. Maybe Ana would still have a future; maybe she wouldn't have to be gong through it all again. Here she was being selfish when her daughter could be fading away like the sunrise on a winter's morning. She looks out of the window, the rain still pounding slowly at it as she pulls herself away from her daughter. Ana places a hand on her shoulder and looks deeply into her eyes, wishing all the pain and hurt to just leave.  
  
Ana: Mum. Just leave; I don't want you to go through this again.  
  
Mrs Hardly: Oh Ana.  
  
She strokes her daughters face gently with the back of her hand, sweeping away the tears with a simple swipe of her hand. She remembers the last time she had done that, just after her husband had died, when Ana was so young. This time she couldn't say anything, things were not going to get better and she couldn't just help Ana with a few simple words.  
  
Ana: Its like that song, all at once my dreams were shattered, that one you always played when dad.  
  
Mrs Hardly: You will get through this. you're a fighter just like your dad was.  
  
Ana: But his fighting didn't help him did it? Mum, I don't want to die, don't let me die, please tell me its going to be ok.  
  
Mrs Hardly: Oh Ana, if I thought it would help I would say a thousand words and swim a million oceans, you know I would.  
  
Ana looks down at her hand as her mother strokes it gently with her thumb. She looks into her mothers eyes; she had always been there for her, no matter what. The tears fall silently from Mrs Hardly's eyes as they sit transfixed, letting each others tears flow into one.  
  
Ana: All at once.  
  
Mrs Hardly: All at once.  
  
Adam stands against the desk, running his hands through his hair; Tash approaches him from behind, placing her hand on his shoulder.  
  
Tash: You were right, well done.  
  
Adam: But right at this moment I wish I was wrong, is this the end? Will she die, my first ever patient to die.  
  
Tash: It will happen some time or another Adam, I know it's hard and you don't even know if she will die yet.  
  
Adam nods, pulling himself away from Tash and walks across the ward, seating himself in her office. She looks over to him and walks off; he needs to be alone right now. She stands looking into the window that shows into Ana's room. She is kneeling on the bed her arms around her mother's neck. The tears slide down Mrs Hardly's face as she rubs Ana's back lovingly and whispers gently to her. Tash smiles and walks off, she will discuss the procedure later when Adam is up to it.  
  
Lisa stands in AAU as Nic slips his hand around her waist, she throws him off quickly and pulls him off to a corner, laughing slightly.  
  
Lisa: Nic! Do you never think? What if we had been seen?  
  
Nic: We weren't, don't worry about it Lisa.  
  
He pulls her playfully forward that loving sparkle gleaming in his eyes once again as he kisses her gently on the nose. She drags him and pushes him in the office giggling flirtatiously.  
  
Ana stands up on the roof, she has finally got away, given herself time to think. She looks down on the cars passing gently away as her tears splash onto the railings. She breathes in deeply and wipes a tear from her eyes. The wind and rain sweeps across her face obscuring her vision as she watches the rain get thicker turning to sleet and the temperature get colder.  
  
Ana: Dad, where are you now? How can you let this happen? DAD!!!  
  
The tears splash in quicker succession just thinking of her father, maybe she would be seeing him again soon. She takes her shaking hand and begins to heave herself onto the railing as the snow begins to fall on the wet ground around her. She had known what she wanted to be since she was only seven years old, to be a writer, the one thing that meant so much to her. She looks towards the ground below, crouched on the top of the railings. She had made the decision to write from when her father had died, when she had let all her feelings out in a story that had been 'phenomenal' She sighs and begins to hoist herself up, she doesn't want to die in pain.  
  
Ana: Maybe it's best this way.  
  
She looks out at the snow drifting all around her as the tears begin to fall once again, the pain showing in her deceived eyes. Kath comes out onto the roof and stands far to the back.  
  
Kath: I wouldn't do that if I were you.  
  
Ana: And why not? You told me it would be ok. YOU said that things would get better; does this look better to you?? DOES IT?!  
  
Tears of anger mix with those of hurt and fear ending in a flurry of confused sobs as she tries again to hoist herself up on the railings.  
  
Kath: Ana, don't do it, don't do it this way please. This won't make it any easier I promise you. Think about it and please get away from the edge.  
  
She looks across to Ana, holding out her arms. Ana looks down on her, the tears burning her eyes and melting the snow as it falls on her chalk white face. She begins to lift herself down, her legs shaking with emotion. Kath takes her arm and lifts her gently down onto the snow. The tears continue to gush down Ana's face as Kath puts her arm comfortingly around her shoulders, how can she not get involved with this girl?  
  
Lisa walks out of the office and onto the ward, a cheeky smile widening over her face. Nic stumbles out soon after and walks over to a patient as he watches Lisa crossing the ward, his face brimming with emotion and happiness.  
  
Ana sits again in her bed watching the snow drift silently down past the window, the tears have long stopped, and she is drained of all life, emotions and the will to go on. Her mother rubs her arm softly wiping the tears away from her cheeks. A great deal of pain shows in her tear stained eyes but she looks deep into her daughters none the less.  
  
Mrs Hardly: The surgeon said you have a good chance you know.  
  
Ana: What, a good chance of dying?  
  
Mrs Hardly: You know that's not true! Have faith in yourself I know that you're dad would have wanted you to have fought for all it was worth.  
  
Ana: Why do you always bring dad into this? You wouldn't know what he thought; you couldn't see anything past your own nose!  
  
She begins to break down in tears once again; tears she can't understand where they come from. She had just been all cried out and now the emotion hits her again, her mother always dragged her dad into it when it suited her.  
  
Ana: All you did was argue with him, no wonder he had a heart problem with all the pain you ever caused him. How dare you talk about him! You know nothing!!  
  
Mrs Hardly looks hurt over to Ana, the tears brimming in her delicate eyes, tears of pain but all the while a tint of anger shows through. She gets up rubbing her daughters hand and leaves the room, the door slamming behind her fiercely. Ana sighs and turns her attention back to the window. The snow growing heavier as the moments pass, she gets up and heaves herself to the window like an empty shell, all her soul and life drained from her. She looks up to the snowy heavens, leaning her head out of the window and allowing the snow to drift onto her face. She smiles at the snow below, the snow angels beaming up at her; she remembers making them as a child. If only back then she had known that this was where she would be, twelve or thirteen years later. She looks back up to the sky and remembers her dad talking to her softly about how when it snowed god was looking out for her.  
  
Ana: You said god was here when it snowed dad, where is he now? Why isn't he protecting me from leukaemia?  
  
The door to the room opens behind her as Kath and Mrs Hardly walk in, looking solemnly towards the window where Ana stands. Ana: Once again you have showed me that maybe everything you say wasn't true. I miss you and wish you were here and in my one time of need you're not. Dad where are you?  
  
Mrs Hardly: He's waiting for you.  
  
Ana jumps as Mrs Hardly approaches her, staring out through the window into the snow, every little feature of Holby barely visible under the ice white blanket.  
  
Mrs Hardly: I remember when you used to make snow angels, remember what he used to call you?  
  
Ana: How could I ever forget?  
  
The tears begin to fall from Ana's eyes once again, just at the simple mention of the good times with her father. She looks her mother into the eyes, their emotions of pain, worry and anguish merging into one.  
  
Ana & Mrs Hardly: His little Snow angel.  
  
Kath stands at the back of the room, a single tear gently rolling down her cheek as she watches Ana and her mother deeply embrace by the window. She takes the notes, checks them and leaves the room, shutting the door firmly behind her. She stands pressed against it, sighing gently; maybe all would be ok for Ana. Think positively right? Adam walks past her and she reaches out, grabbing his arm.  
  
Kath: I think it's time that you spoke to them about what can be done.  
  
Adam: Let Tash do that later.  
  
He pulls himself out of Kath's grip and heads off in the same direction he came, the sense of deep hopelessness about him. He can't bear to see his patient that his first diagnosis had been right about die in front of his eyes. He hadn't expected it to hurt him so much, it was all in a days work wasn't it?  
  
Lisa stands in the hallway running her hand around where her engagement should have been. The look of guiltiness spreads over her face as she thinks of Ed. Why was she doing this to him, why? Because Nic meant so much to her, he made her come alive inside, but all the while she loves Ed with all her heart. She reaches her hand to her heart knowing it is torn between two men. She sits down on the empty chair still swinging around where she had jumped quickly from it earlier. She spots an envelope on the side and rips it open, her ring and a note fall out from beneath the crumpled paper.  
  
Lisa, you left this at mine, I guess that means goodbye then, I didn't want to have to end it like this or for it to have lasted for such a short time. Nic.  
  
She looks down onto the note and ring and throws the note into her pocket along with the ring as she goes in search for Nic. She knows its wrong but she can't stop the feelings deep inside of her.  
  
Tash walks into Ana's room and they all turn expectantly up at her as she enters the air in the room unbearable.  
  
Tash: I assume you all know what I am here for, Mr Richards would have attended to this but he is no where to be seen at the moment.  
  
Ana: Just say it, I'm going to die!  
  
Tash: Don't be so negative Ana; there is the possibility of a bone marrow transplant or stem cell with some chemotherapy. We were considering using some new drugs out on the market but they are rare and not exactly fool- proof yet.  
  
Mrs Hardly: What is fool-proof these days Miss Bandara? I ask you that.  
  
Tash: We need to find a match for Ana's bone marrow, we can do stem cell but we want to try and find bone marrow, that's our first priority.  
  
Lisa stumbles out into the snow, it whipping at her face obscuring her vision, she follows the footprints set into the snow. She sits down onto a bench looking up to the figure beside her.  
  
Nic: How did you know I would be here?  
  
Lisa: Because this is where everyone goes to run. Nic, I'm sorry I wanted to tell you, I really did.  
  
Nic: It doesn't matter now, your going to marry him.  
  
Lisa: Nic, no, I want to be with you, please don't leave me.  
  
She breaks down in tears and leans her head delicately on his shoulder, she doesn't want to show the pain, she never does. He takes his arm and puts it silently around her rubbing her back gently. She sits sobbing; shivering from the cold, in his arms as he continues to rub her back warming her slightly. Lisa smiles and looks up at him as he leans forward and kisses her gently on the cheek.  
  
Nic: your cold, lets get you out of here.  
  
He wraps his jacket around the two of them and leads her off into the darkening night, pulling her closer to him.  
  
Tash walks out into the snow, a slight smile spreading across her face as a faint figure approaches her from the distance.  
  
Tash: I thought I could.  
  
Kirstie: Tash, I'm so glad you have forgiven me.  
  
Tash puts her finger to Kirstie's lips softly and shakes her head gently sending a flurry of snow cascading to the floor.  
  
Tash: I thought I couldn't survive without you, but I was wrong, maybe its best if you just run away, after all that's what your best at.  
  
Kirstie: Tash, why are you being like this?  
  
Tash: Because I'm beginning to realise that before you came back my life was just getting good again, I now know that I'm better without you. Just go, don't make it harder for the both of us.  
  
She slips a plane ticket into Kirstie's hand, the one she was going to leave with herself, and walks off into the thickening snow. Soon she has been swallowed by the mass of snow pouring from the heavens above.  
  
Ana sits alone once again in her ward thinking things over, a few unexplained tears trickling down her cheeks. She can't begin to think of the pain she will be causing her mother, to go through it all again. She looks out into the torrent of snow blowing outside and sighs gently the tears begin to fall once again. She looks up to the ceiling the pain and hurt showing in her young, scared eyes.  
  
Ana: Does it hurt to die?  
  
She falls onto the bed in flurries of unbroken tears, lifting her hand to her face covering it from view.  
  
Kath stands at the doorway looking down on her; she turns to Mrs Hardly who stands beside her in silent tears.  
  
Kath: Tell her not to give up, she won't listen to me, she has every chance of living.  
  
She rubs Mrs Hardly's shoulder gently and walks away from the ward to Zubin's awaiting arms and snuggles herself gently in his chest.  
  
Ed look's down onto Tom's body as Anton slowly stitches him up, the operation finally over. A deep look of hate spreads over his face but he brushes it away like a feather in the wind and turns to Anton who is walking out of the room. He hesitates for a second and then follows obligingly not looking back towards Tom.  
  
Lisa puts baby Chrissie into the cot and presses Nic onto the bed giggling. She kisses him passionately before glancing over at the clock, 10:00pm.  
  
Lisa: I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow.  
  
She runs out of the bedroom, smiling cheekily and slipping the ring back onto her finger.  
  
The Holby theme tune starts up as Nic flings himself onto the bed, smiling lovingly as he switches on his answering machine.  
  
Machine voice: Hello Nic? Its Danny, Sandy asked me to phone you..  
  
Snow angels.  
  
Nic stands alone on the pier waiting for her; he checks his watch for the fifth time, looking around frantically looking for the merest sight of her car. She promised she would meet him at 7:00 why would she break the promise? He looks over to his car, Chrissie's face screwing up and beginning to cry and he looks hurt once again. He strolls over to her and lifts her out.  
  
Nic: Its ok Chrissie, Danny and mummy aren't going to take you away, I promise.  
  
Lisa looks over to her wedding dress that hangs from her wardrobe, she sighs deeply the thoughts catapulting around her mind. She can't go and meet him, not on her wedding day and yet she knows that she has to, to call it all off for the best. She climbs into the car, the snow has finally cleared away and the sun shining hazily on the horizon, it isn't warm and she shivers as she turns on the ignition. She pulls off out of the drive turning on the music to clear her head, the cold air soothing her gently.  
  
Ed breaths in deeply as he straightens his tie, looking at his reflection deeply in the mirror, he notices the look of nervous in his eyes but right in there he sees a future ahead of him. He smiles gently as he pulls on his suit jacket and buttons up the bottom, gleaming at his reflection once again. Anton comes through the door, his suit crisp and neat, and smiles towards Ed.  
  
Anton: Are you ready to go?  
  
Ed nods silently, too nervous to allow words to escape his lips, he turns and follows Anton out into the drive where his car sits awaiting him. He looks gently around him.  
  
Ed: The next time I come here I will be married.  
  
Without another word her bends down into the car, sighing with deep satisfaction the worries of his life ahead of him but all the while he can't help but be happy.  
  
Lisa pulls up at the pier as Nic continues to look at his watch, staring out along the icy horizon. She walks up to him and stands talking to him, the wind hitting her fiercely, blowing her hair across her face.  
  
Lisa: Nic, I don't think this is going to work, I'm getting married in an hour, and it can't work.  
  
He looks down towards the ground, slowly but steadily he lifts it to meet her eyes, the glint of all happiness lost in that of confusion.  
  
Nic: Don't leave me Lisa, you know it's not what you want or else we wouldn't have got this far.  
  
Lisa: But Nic.  
  
Nic: You agree with me that it's not over between us!!  
  
Ed looks around from the front of the church, his hand rested on his watch. Anton stands beside him, looking equally as worried. He looks down into his pocket and produces the wedding ring, twisting the box around in his hands.  
  
Ed: That's it; I'm going looking for her!  
  
He pushes himself through the crowd and jumps into his car before anyone can stop him, he knows where she will be, the pier, the place she always goes to think when something is bothering her.  
  
Nic holds his hand up to Lisa's face and strokes away her hair; he can't help but love her, no matter what she came there to say.  
  
Lisa: Look, Nic.  
  
Nic leans forward, without another word; placing his hands round her neck he kisses her passionately on the pier just as Ed comes flying round the corner in his car. His frightened, hurt face show's over the dashboard as he goes flying into the wall, loosing complete control. Lisa pulls herself away quickly, seeing Ed's face just before the car bursts into fits of flame and smoke. Silent tears slip from her eyes as she stands, transfixed watching it all in front of her. Anton's car comes around the corner and stops at the scene as Nic tries to comfort Lisa. She pushes him away and runs off towards Anton, sobbing gently into his suit as the tears of regret and sorrow build inside of her.  
  
Ana sits alone in her ward, she's used to being alone by now, and her mother finds it hard to be by her side continually, maybe its best that way. She looks weak, the colour drained from her gaunt face, the eyes expressionless and the will to fight vanished. She lifts her hand, with great strain, to her face and wipes it slowly, the tears fading away with one gentle swipe.  
  
Ana: I can't go on like this anymore dad, save me please, let me go now!  
  
Kath stands at the window and turns silently towards Tash who stands beside her, observing Ana closely with deep sympathy in her eyes.  
  
Kath: She's not going to fight much longer Tash; we can all see that now.  
  
Tash: I know, I wish we could have done more for her.  
  
Kath: We all do, Tash, we all do.  
  
Tash squeezes Kath's shoulder gently and walks off into the distance, her eyes brimming with tears, she had seen this happen a million times before but this time it truly hurt.  
  
Owen walks across maternity, a smile spread about his face and baby Daniel in his arms, cradling him gently. He looks down on him, his eyes radiating his loving smile as he sweeps into his office and single handily picks up his coffee from the desk. He places Daniel in the rocker and picks up the letter once again, still in disbelief, Tom had been found guilty last night, even if he hadn't been at the courts.  
  
The paramedics haul Ed out of the car quickly, laying him on a stretcher.  
  
Paramedic: He's still breathing, good pulse, probably just a few broken bones, a rupture of something at worse. Thank god.  
  
Lisa steps back allowing the paramedics to take Ed into the ambulance, she follows him in and takes his hand, the tears falling ever more frequently down her sodden face. Nic still stands outside on the pier, shocked at what had happened, the tears burning his eyes and the pain stabbing at his heart. She had left him, Ed had had an accident, and it all doesn't sink in, not quite, not yet.  
  
Mrs Hardly places her arm around Ana's weak shoulders and hugs her gently, the tears still falling as they had ever since Ana had been diagnosed.  
  
Ana: Mum, I know it's hard for you, just go, please.  
  
Ana finds the words hard to find inside, she knows her mother wants to be there at the end and yet she knows it hurts her too much to be there now.  
  
Mrs Hardly: I will always love you Ana.  
  
She walks away silently slipping out of the ward, leaving Ana alone once again, all but Kath who had turned up at the door once again as Mrs Hardly had left. She sweeps across the room and sits beside Ana, stroking her arm softly.  
  
Ana: That sounded like a final goodbye.  
  
Kath: I'm sure it wasn't Ana, you know it's really hard for her, if only you had someone else here for you.  
  
Ana pulls herself, with great effort, away from Kath at her side and forces out a louder voice.  
  
Ana: What like a FATHER you mean?  
  
She raises her hand to her throat and rubs it gently, the shouting hurting her slightly; Kath places her hand on Ana's knee and strokes it tenderly with her thumb.  
  
Kath: Oh Ana, you know I didn't mean that, I'm sorry.  
  
Ana: Kath, can you do me one favour?  
  
Kath: What's that?  
  
Ana: Tell my mum that it's not too late, to go back to him. don't worry, she'll know what I mean.  
  
Kath nods causing the tears to empty themselves of her eyes, she brushes them back and hurries out of the ward. Ana is so young, she doesn't deserve to die. She bumps into Mrs Hardly in the corridor and almost doesn't catch her in time, due to the flurry of tears.  
  
Kath: M.Mrs Hardly, Ana wanted me to tell you that it's not too late to go back to him. I don't know what she means though.  
  
Mrs Hardly sits down on the chair, raising her hands to her head and sits crying deeply into them. Kath slowly kneels beside her, placing a hand on her knee.  
  
Kath: What is it?  
  
Mrs Hardly: Him. She means.G.Gary, an ex. ex boyfriend of mine who. used to... to beat h.her.  
  
Kath: Oh... Mrs Hardly, I never knew.  
  
She rubs her knee gently, smiling comfortingly at her, her wide eyes showing a look of deep compassion and kindness. Mrs Hardly looks down at her and nods, gets up and then walks up to Ana's ward door. She breaths in deeply, straightening herself up, tidying her hair. She can't let her daughter see how hurt she truly is, not when she doesn't have much time left, it isn't fair. She gathers herself together at last and pushes open the door, stepping into the quiet room and looking over to Ana huddled on the bed, sobbing gently. She looses it again, breaking down into tears at the mere sight of her daughter, scared and alone in the world again. Ana looks up at her through tear stained eyes and gives her a slight smile.  
  
Ana: Mum, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, take him back. you were only ever happy with him. I'm sorry I broke you up, I'm so, so sorry!  
  
Mrs Hardly rushes over to her, placing her head in her daughters shoulder and pulling her close, letting their tears flow as one. She smoothes out her hair gently and looks into her eyes, her own gleaming with pain and suffering but with a glint of hope buried deep away inside them.  
  
Mrs Hardly: Ana, I would never go back to him, now you listen to me. you mean more to me than he ever did. I love you so much honey, you know I do. Don't ever listen or believe what he told you, you are my true angel and I love you.  
  
Ana: Mum, please.  
  
She lifts her hand to her mothers shoulder and looks deeply into her eyes, knowing at once that whatever she said, her mother would be reluctant to leave. She had tried to persuade her mother to leave all the day before, but to no avail, no matter what she did, her mother would be there till the end. She looks out of the window, a weak smile spreading across her face as she watches the snow drift past it softly. Mrs Hardly places her arm around Ana's shoulders once again and holds her securely in her arms, kissing her hair softly as they both stare out into the oblivion of snow. Ana holds in the tears for once and you can see the pain and effort it is causing her to do so.  
  
Ed looks up at Lisa, opening his eyes for the first time since the accident; she strokes his head softly as he goes to speak. He sees the dried tears still clinging to her eyes and the pain that shows inside them.  
  
Ed: Lisa. just. go.  
  
Lisa: Ed, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry!  
  
Ed: Forget you're apologies, I don't want them.  
  
Lisa: But.Ed. let me explain.  
  
Ed: LISA!! I don't want them either. you want HIM not me!  
  
Tash comes into the room, looking slightly annoyed as she looks at his chart and checks everything over.  
  
Tash: I think it's best for you to leave him alone for a bit.  
  
Lisa: But Ed, no!  
  
Ed: Just go.  
  
He turns over in bed to bury the tears that have begun to tumble down his cheeks, the hurt and resentment building slowly inside of him, why him? He turns around to see Lisa walking out of the door, her hand on her head and the tears escaping her wide eyes. He looks hurtfully over to her, his heart torn in two, and he pulls the pillow closer to his head, trying to block out the tears and everything around him. Tash looks around the room and then sits beside him, looking down on him with a very sympathetic smile.  
  
Tash: I'm sorry Ed, is there anything I can do?  
  
Ed: Just tell me what's wrong with me.  
  
Tash: That's not what I meant, but. Well it's just a few fractured ribs, some minor head injuries and you should be going home in a few days, weeks at the most.  
  
Ed: That's nice.  
  
She feels the irritation in him by the tone of his voice and leaves the room; she doesn't need Ed being a difficult patient when she has poor Ana to think of. She sighs just thinking of Ana and walks into the ward, seeing Ana alone once again. She looks up at Tash as she enters and smiles very weakly, her eyes not reflecting it at all.  
  
Ana: She just went to get a cup of coffee, it's killing her sitting around here, I think it reminds her of when dad died.  
  
Tash: I know.  
  
Ana: I honestly, don't think that. that I can. go on much. l..longer.  
  
Tash: Shhhh... It's going to be ok, does it hurt anywhere?  
  
Ana shakes her head lightly, unable to muster the strength to do much more, Tash smiles gently at her and lays her down into the bed, sorting out the bed ready for when the time came. She sits down once again on the chair beside the bed, not wanting to leave Ana alone, not now.  
  
Whitney Houston's, I will always love you plays softly in the background.  
  
Ed sits alone in his ward room, glad to be alone; he looks out towards the window as he has a million times before. Each time he looks the snow doesn't look different, and Lisa's face doesn't appear, not without his mind playing tricks. He looks towards his hands which lay rested in his lap as a silent tear trickles down from his hurting eyes. He wipes away the tear but soon many follow, he just leaves them, looking around the room. He places his hand on his heart and looks up at the ceiling, the tears cascading down his face in a flurry of fear, anger and hurt.  
  
Lisa sits outside on the bench, the snow drifting into her hair and all around her as she cries gently into her jacket. She looks up into the night's sky, the moon beaming silently down upon her and the tears illuminated from its light. She casts her eyes upon the foot prints beside her, the figure sitting beside her turns and looks at her. She looks towards him, the tears gathering pace as she falls into his welcoming arms.  
  
Lisa: Oh Ed, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I never meant to hurt you, I promise.  
  
He looks down into her eyes, and shakes his head gently, sending snow flying in all directions as he pulls her close again. His face screws up slightly in pain as she hits the side of his ribs, but he doesn't care, he continues to sit with her, huddled up gently on the bench.  
  
Ana is lying on the bed, looking up at Adam, Tash, Kath and Sarah who stand all around her, making sure it is all ok for her at the end. She stares up at Kath and, with much effort, takes her hand softly in her weak grip.  
  
Ana: I don't want to die, but I'm not afraid anymore, don't be sad to leave me, I'm better off up there where the pain will finally be over.  
  
That was it, she has said goodbye, their faces fade slowly away from view but she fights it. She has things that she has to say to her mother. She nods silently and they all file out of the room in silent succession all but Kath standing beside the heart monitor, tears tumbling from her eyes. Mrs Hardly walks into the room, tear stained eyes view her daughter with such pain and anguish.  
  
Ana: I never wanted my life to end this way.  
  
Mrs Hardly raises her hand to her daughters chilling lips and holds it there for a few silent seconds.  
  
Mrs Hardly: Ana, I love you, I don't want to let go.. Please don't leave me Ana, don't give up!  
  
Ana: Mum, you have to let go, it's the end for me now, live your life. **gulp**. Be all you want to be and. Learn. to. l. love again.  
  
She takes her last breath as she grips her mothers hand, she is no longer afraid to die, like Kath had said, the pain would be over at last. Kath leans forward and turns off the heart monitor, tears falling from her eyes ever more frequently. Ana was such a brave young woman, not much got her down and she was a keen fighter, why oh why was this happening?  
  
Ed pulls away from Lisa and looks lovingly into the stars that are reflected in her eyes, her then turns and looks up at the stars in their entirety.  
  
Ed: Their beautiful aren't they?  
  
Lisa: Yeah, they are.  
  
Ed: Not half as beautiful as you mind.  
  
He takes her hand and lifts her up, dancing with her under the stars, with no actual music to dance to, he sings to her softly. She then pulls away his hand and puts his arm around her, leading him up to the hospital.  
  
Mrs Hardly kisses Ana's hand softly before departing the room, the tears escaping her grief ridden eyes. It is the end of her world, her daughter is gone, forever, however she puts it she sees no way out. No turning back now though. She heads for the car park, the thoughts rushing through her head. She rests on the bench that had once occupied Lisa and Ed and looks up into the snow all around.  
  
Mrs Hardly: Make snow angels for me Ana.  
  
Zubin sits in his office when Kath busts in full of tears and rushes into his protective arms, sobbing in his shoulder. He doesn't ask, he knows what the answer will be, Ana has died. He strokes her hair softly and then kisses her tenderly on the lips, pulling her closer to him, studying her face in the dark. He smiles slightly, with a look of deep shining love glittering in his eyes, and strokes her face gently with the back of his hand.  
  
Mrs Hardly walks across the, now, snow covered car park, the flakes still drifting all around her. Her foot prints leave their distant mark. Who knows how long she has sat there, before, as the snow had grown heavier around her. All she knows is that she misses Ana and nothing in the world can bring her back into her arms, well again, not even for one single day.  
  
Adam paces up and down the ward, thoughts flashing through his mind in the form of blurred images. He notices a tear slipping down his face, followed by another and another until he can't even count anymore. He slides gently into a chair and surveys the ward, his patients dead; maybe he isn't a good surgeon after all. People had always said it would be hard, he hadn't long started Holby and his first patient has died. He knows that you can't stay stuck in the "what if's" and the "if only's" for the rest of his life but he still can't get over loosing his patient, of all people HIS. He gets up again, unable to sit still, his mind still not at rest. He takes his coat and slings it over his shoulder before viewing the time, 8:50, still another hour and ten minutes of work, but that's not what he's interested in, he just goes.  
  
Lying on her back and looking into the stars Mrs Hardly slowly moves her arms and legs and makes a snow angel, smiling gently, with tears that can melt away all the snow. She gets up and crosses the car park, turning back just to survey the angel in the desolate car park.  
  
Mrs Hardly: Ana, that one was for you.  
  
(I will always love you stops)  
  
Danny strolls across the gardens of the flat, approaching Nic's door, he hesitates outside, not knowing what to expect. He sighs and lifts his hand gently to the knocker, banging it softly not wishing to wake up Chrissie. He stands looking dumbly up at the door, sighs again and turns to walk off just as the door slides open to reveal Nic standing at the doorway, baby Chrissie in his arms sleeping peacefully.  
  
Danny: I assume you are Nic.  
  
Nic: Danny.  
  
Danny: Look, Sandy is really missing her, Nic please.  
  
Nic: If she misses her that much she can come back for her!  
  
Nic goes to close the door but Danny quickly puts his hand in front of it, stopping the door in its tracks.  
  
Danny: We can do this the hard way or the easy way; we are willing to fight you until the very end.  
  
Mrs Hardly walks off into the distance, brushing the snow off her back as she walks, she doesn't turn back towards the hospital, she knows it will only hurt her more. She stops in front of her car and takes out her keys, should she really be driving? She leans back and sits on the floor, leaning her back against the car still not understanding the entirety of her daughter being gone, never seeing her in her bedroom again, and never moaning about her horrible "teenage" music. She does it, she looks towards the hospital, picking out the window that had once been Ana's in the ward, her eyes brim with tears again as she looks up at it seeing a figure standing in the window, she leans forward trying to get a better look and whispers.  
  
Mrs Hardly: Ana?  
  
She looks up again, surely her eyes are playing tricks on her, Ana is gone, but all the while she doubts it, when she looks again, she begins to realise it is Kath. She sighs, putting her head into her hands allowing her to sob gently into them, letting all her emotions go. She heaves herself off of the ground and opens her car door, sitting inside it she pauses for another few minutes before turning on the ignition and driving away into the distance, her tires leaving visible tracks in the snow that glistens under the bright moon.  
  
Nic slides down the wall outside his house, still watching Danny's car as it heads off, the headlights becoming pinpricks along the midnight road. He looks down to the floor as the tears escape his eyes, no more crying, he has had enough of it all, he sniffs and wipes away the tears looking up into the sky. Within one day he has managed to loose a girlfriend and a baby that he loved both so dearly. He looks up into the night's sky watching the stars shining brightly down on him; maybe he should have gone to prison all those years ago.  
  
Nic: Why are you doing this to me? Why not just take me now and let it be all over!!!  
  
He gathers himself up, dragging himself across to the door and heaves himself through it and slamming the door loudly behind him. No point in being quiet if Chrissie isn't there to be quiet for.  
  
Lisa looks quietly down on Ed as he lies back in bed once again; she smiles and rubs his hand gently, her ring catching the glare from the lights and glinting up at them both.  
  
Ed: At Christmas me and you will finally get married, I promise you.  
  
Lisa: Oh Ed, it's only a week away.  
  
Ed: For you, I would get married tomorrow, in fact I would get married right here, right now.  
  
She smiles and squeezes his hand gently, realising the love for him inside of her growing stronger every moment like a fire burning deep inside. Loves true fire.  
  
Zubin pulls Kath away from him gently and stares into her eyes, lost in the love and compassion buried deep inside them, the emotions bubbling to the surface. He pulls it out of his pocket, the box that holds his future deep inside it. He opens it up and holds it in front of her.  
  
Zubin: an eternity ring, as a promise that some day, we will marry.  
  
Kath: Its beautiful, Zubin, one day I want to marry you that's for sure, not now, just some day, when the times is right.  
  
Zubin: When the time is right.  
  
He slips the ring onto her finger and pulls her into his embrace once again, sitting her on his lap gently. She giggles slightly and leans forward hugging him, feeling his warm embrace and breathing in his soft smell. She smiles from his shoulder and squeezes him tighter, never wanting to let go.  
  
The Holby theme tune starts up as Kath and Zubin stand up and leave his office, snuggled together happily.  
  
Written in the snow  
  
Lisa smoothes out her wedding dress and looks up at the clock, 10:00am, Sarah comes through the door and places a hand on Lisa's shoulder gently.  
  
Sarah: You look beautiful, not half as good as I did when I got married.  
  
Lisa: I'm sure you looked wonderful.  
  
Sarah smiles lightly, just thinking of Steve hurts her and scares her to the very depths of her soul. She looks towards Lisa and smiles even brighter, its Lisa's day and she isn't going to ruin it. She sits down on the bed next to Lisa and takes her hand, placing a necklace into her hands.  
  
Sarah: You're wedding present, sorry it's not something practical, but that necklace I really liked and I thought you would too.  
  
Lisa leans forward and hugs Sarah gently, she knows that deep down Sarah fears weddings and commitment since Steve but she is glad that she decided to come, for her.  
  
Lisa: It's beautiful.  
  
Nic sits back in his chair, he knows what day it is, everyone does and he can't keep his mind away from his losses. People had always told him with every loss there is a gain and yet he sees no gain in life right now apart from him being able to be alone, sleeping peacefully at night again. He places his head in his hands and allows the tears to flow freely from his eyes; no matter what he does this is a natural occurrence at any time, anywhere. He has always tried to look strong, for himself mainly, and to not let them know they hurt him but how can he when the hurt inside is stronger than ever? He looks from the knife to his wrist as he had a million times before, still not even strong enough to do it. He looks towards the ceiling sighing in hurt and anguish then slowly lowers his head to looking down again.  
  
Nic: Not even strong enough to end it.  
  
He gets up not trusting himself to be alone for much longer and grabs his coat while crossing the room. He knows she will be at home; she wouldn't leave him right now. He hesitates at the door, looking back at the knife sitting lone on the side but thinks the better of it and continues out of the door.  
  
Lisa arrives at the church and crunches across the snow, hitching up her dress, she smiles as she watches the church filling up, all those people there to see her get married. She laughs as she sees Ed rushing inside almost tripping up the stairs, typical him to have got something wrong. She knows she won't care though even if she has to get married in the middle of the road with him dressed as a clown, she loves him to much to matter how, when and where.  
  
Sarah: Are you nervous?  
  
Lisa: Hell yeah, but who isn't on their wedding day?  
  
Sarah: I sure was but I didn't know what I was letting myself in for, I was happy and so naïve.  
  
Lisa: Sarah. I'm. I'm sorry.  
  
Sarah: Look, don't worry lets just get you into the church.  
  
She takes Lisa by the arm without another word and pulls her up the steps and into the church, wishing not to have to remember Steve. She has moved on with Adam now hasn't she? She leads Lisa into the church then departs, sitting herself neatly beside Adam who gently puts his arm around her, pulling her close. He knows she doesn't like weddings, however he put it, and she would rather be anywhere but attending one. He wants to get married to her, but he would rather she is happy any day.  
  
Nic stands outside Kath's door as he had a million times before that day each time another catastrophe in his life had happened. He lifts his hand and knocks the door softly, reminding him of the night that Sandy had left him, although it was so different then, it had been raining and Kath had consoled him, how could she help him now. The door opens slowly and Nic realises things have definitely changed as Zubin stands grinning at him from inside it.  
  
Zubin: Nic, I guess you have come for Kath, go straight in; I was just on my way to work in fact.  
  
He pushes himself past Nic and walks off into the distance as Nic slides into the flat looking around for Kath. He spots her in the kitchen, humming gently to herself; this was a different Kath than she had been when he met her. He stands in the hallway looking towards her until she finally puts the kettle on and leads him into the living room, putting her arm around his neck. She doesn't need to ask him what's the matter, she knows what Danny had done and she knows all about Lisa. She sits him down on the sofa and allows him to cry into her shoulder for a few moments before pulling him away and looking him straight in the eye.  
  
Kath: I know what Danny did, I'm sorry Nic, I tried to stop him, honestly I did.  
  
Nic: Don't worry Kath, I know. its just. he wouldn't let me see my own daughter, she was all. all I had.  
  
She pulls him into her arms again, knowing he needs someone right now, not asking him to talk any more. She would rather have company than be at home alone with most at the wedding.  
  
Lisa looks up at Ed as he stands beside her in the aisle, and she smiles gently at him before turning to the vicar once again.  
  
Lisa: I Lisa Fox, take thee Edward Keating to be my lawful wedded Husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, to death do us part.  
  
Vicar: And do you Edward Keating take thee Lisa Fox to be you're lawful wedded wife?  
  
Ed: I do.  
  
Vicar: Repeat after me, I Edward Keating take thee..  
  
Kath looks across at Nic, knowing his pain; he looks up at her, his eyes glistening with fresh tears and his face red from the old. She smiles gently at him and gets up, bringing back two teas. She sets them down on the table without facing Nic for a few moments and then she turns back to him, without hesitation.  
  
Kath: So, what made you come?  
  
Nic: Ohh Kath, I almost killed myself, the silence was killing me, I couldn't take it any longer. Let the pain be over Kath, make it all end!  
  
Kath: Nic, please don't do it. I'm here for you Nic.  
  
Nic: I know, what's happened in my life is worse than any knife could inflict this is a never ending pain.  
  
Kath: We will get you Chrissie back, I promise.  
  
Lisa smiles warmly as Ed slips the ring gently onto her finger and pulls her into a passionate kiss with many claps from the church around them. Lisa grins broadly, her eyes sparkling with compassion and joy, her life has truly got some meaning, she is happy at last. Ed pulls her close, his arm around her waist and leads her down the aisle with cheers and claps following them. She blinks, unable to take it all in, but all the same is blinking away held back tears, tears she had saved for this day, the day she will remember her father the most. It should be him there clapping, him taking her up the aisle and he isn't. A single tear almost escapes from her eye, cracking her strong exterior but she brushes it gently away with a single hand motion and puts it all down to happiness as she smiles. She bends down getting into the limo that awaits them outside, she hasn't had time to think until she is in there alone with him, Lisa Keating at last.  
  
Nic walks out of Kath's flat, his mind still confused and hurt, his emotions at high and his thoughts catapulting around his mind at a tremendous rate. He gets in the car almost robotically and just drives, not caring where he goes, as long as it's somewhere alone. As he pulls up he recognises it at once, the park that Sandy had loved oh so dearly, what was always bringing him back there? He sits down on the familiar old bench and looks out over the icy lake to the snow covered trees, his mind racing ferociously. He lifts his hand to his head and squeezes his temples as his head begins to sear in pain, from all the thinking and the drinking. Far off in the distance he watches young children playing with the snow and laughing, joking, happily. He sighs remembering how it was to be young and carefree, not to be hurting any more.  
  
Nic: Oh Lisa, Sandy, Danny, why are you doing this?  
  
He gets up, looking all round him and producing the letter, something he hadn't shown Kath, something he would rather not have bothered her with. He turns it over in his hand, however he puts it the words divorce stick out at him in all directions, from all lines of view. He can't look at it a second longer, the words burning deep holes in his hurting eyes. He tosses it silently into the lake and bends down, skimming it along the edges of the ice where it is still wet, the letter becoming fragile and falling apart. He feels the snow below his feet beginning to give way and he tries to scramble to his feet but instead plunges deep down into the icy depths of the lake. His head pushes to the surface for a few seconds, looking afraid, lonely and extremely blue but within seconds he has sunk down into the water, his body sinking towards the bottom slowly. The car pulls up beside the lake and Kath jumps out, knowing at once that Nic's car is sat beside the lake. She jumps out of her car frantically, looking around at the patch left on the seat where he had once sat.  
  
Kath: Don't let him have done anything stupid. Nic... NIC!!!!  
  
She crouches down by the side of the lake and looks into it with blurry eyes of grieving tears, seeing his body lying lifeless at the bottom. She jumps up again, carefully, and runs off to wards her car, grabbing out her mobile and dialling 999. not yet another tragedy! She looks across the park, seeing no one but the children playing in the fields far beyond, un- knowing about what had gone on a few fields ahead. She sighs and lets a few tears escape her eyes, why can nothing happy in life ever happen?  
  
Ed takes Lisa's hand gently and leads her onto the dance floor, for their first married dance. "Forever and For Always" by Shania Twain comes on and he leans forward, whispering in her ear.  
  
Ed: Our song.  
  
She smiles and falls into his arms once again, dancing softly with him under the glint of the disco ball and streamers. Something her father would have loved to have seen is her getting married, thinking of him, tears well in her eyes but she rubs them into his shirt. No going back now and no thinking of the past, it's a new beginning and a second chance for her and Ed, the way it should be. She smiles as the people all around the hall smile gently at her as she dances softly with Ed.  
  
Kath watches from the side as Nic is lifted onto the stretcher, his body blue and lifeless but a small pulse and slight breathing still comes from him, a true fighter. She sighs slightly as she climbs on board the ambulance behind him, she was meant to have been spending the night with Zubin and the darkness has already penetrated the sky. She checks her watch as the ambulance doors close, 11 o' clock.  
  
Ed walks Lisa out into the snow and along the path towards the Limo, shouts and laughter still erupting from the Hall. He sits her gently in the back of the Limo and then sits himself beside her with his arm around her.  
  
Ed: This has been the happiest, most wonderful day in my entire life.  
  
Lisa: Mine too.  
  
She snuggles herself deeper into his warm embrace, looking up at him with a look of pure adoration that is mirrored in her loving smile. He looks down at her and they are caught in each others eyes and emotions for a few moments before they fall into a passionate kiss in the back of the Limo that is still heading slowly to their romantic destination.  
  
Kath looks across the corridor, sitting in one of the plastic waiting chairs waiting anxiously for any news of Nic. Something she had done a million times before, when she had been there for Diane she hadn't been alone though. Her eyes fill with tears of grief, every time she has been in this situation the person didn't make it, maybe Nic won't either. She can't stand even thinking of it and stands up pacing up and down, trying to think positive. The thoughts rushing through her head cause her to have to squeeze her temples from the headache it is all causing her, like Nic had previously. The doors to Nic's emergency room swing open and Lara comes rushing through, almost knocking Kath over. Kath grabs her arm and manages to stand up straight, looking impatiently but all the while truly worried towards Lara.  
  
Kath: How is he?  
  
Lara: He's stable; there isn't much I can say right now, I have to get going.  
  
Lara rubs Kath's shoulder gently and rushes off down the corridor leaving Kath staring into her wake for minutes after. She sits back in the chair still gazing at the doors, everything had seemed ok, she is glad she had gone back to find him and yet maybe she should never had let him leave. There is no point in going into what if's at the moment, he can still survive.  
  
Kath: (whispers) He can still survive.  
  
No matter how she puts it, it doesn't seem very likely, she's a nurse and she knows how these things work, 'Stable' isn't a particularly comforting word when she thinks about it. She sits there with her head in her hands until she feels a warm hand on her shoulder and looks up, Zubin. She smiles gently at him and he sits himself beside her, putting his arm around her gently.  
  
Zubin: Kath, that smile isn't fooling anyone, come on.. It's ok.  
  
She falls further into his arms, breaking down into uninterrupted tears; he strokes her hair gently in attempt of soothing her but fails miserably and just allows her to sob into his shoulder. He lifts his hand and places it on her back, rubbing it softly finally soothing her outburst of cries until she falls silent in his warm arms. He looks up and out of the window, the moon beaming down upon them and the stars twinkling cheekily.  
  
Zubin: It's about time we left.  
  
He stands up and looks down upon Kath, seeing the pain and hurt in her eyes as she gazes at him. She places her arm out and holds onto his with her fingers, white with shock and emotion.  
  
Kath: I can't leave him, not now; I'm all he's got.  
  
Zubin nods, sitting himself beside her once more, looking blankly at the theatre doors, just waiting for the merest movement inside. They slowly open and a doctor comes out Smiling, looking hopefully at them.  
  
Doctor: Looks like he's going to make it.  
  
Zubin and Kath turn to each other, smiling fit to bust, their emotion and happiness leaving them speechless, he is going to be ok! Zubin looks back down impatiently at his watch but he knows that Kath won't leave, not right now; they both know that things like this can go wrong at any point, best to stay with him.  
  
Lisa walks along the snow covered field, her hand clasped tightly in Ed's as she smiles at him lovingly. The stars twinkling above them romantically and the candles that lay ahead glistening softly, a picnic in the snow. She looks up at Ed as he sits her down on the blanket, placing his wedding suit jacket around her shivering shoulders. She smiles warmly at him, the happiest she has ever been in her whole life as he snuggles himself up beside her and uncovers the plates of food. He places his arm around her, lying backwards with her and staring into the stars that glow above them, picking up their features in the light.  
  
Lisa: Ed, I love you so much.  
  
Ed: I love you too.  
  
He kisses her gently on her cheek and then continues looking up at the stars that twinkle above them, enclosing secrets far beyond their knowledge. The snow around their blanket glistens in the light from the stars leaving everything glowing, lighting up their faces. Lisa turns her head to face Ed and smiles, he doesn't see her, but she smiles at him just happy that she is finally with him, she loves him with all of her heart and it shows whenever she looks at him.  
  
Anton Meyer looks up over the dashboard of his car, impatiently, wondering why at the early hours of the morning there is such an amount of traffic. His beeper goes off again as he begins to crawl slowly along the road in his car.  
  
Anton: Yes, yes, not much I can do Sarah, calm down!  
  
He sighs and takes off his beeper, throwing it into the glove compartment before carrying on trundling up the road. His mobile then begins to ring; he looks over to it, sitting on the passenger's seat and reads the name from it as he picks it up.  
  
Anton: The hospital.  
  
He cancels the call and again turns back to the road, which is now slowly clearing and he begins to speed up towards Holby.  
  
Adam walks along the corridor, still exhausted from a long day at work, he doesn't want to go home, no matter what, and it's too early anyways. He looks at the watch that is on his wrist, 1:00am still an hour left, Tash couldn't go on with out him, too busy. He sighs as he passes, what used to be, Ana's ward room. He stops silently outside it looking in, as if it has to be kept that way, no one can ever sleep in there again. He walks in and sits on the bed, running the sheets through his fingers. Why is he feeling so bad over a patient? There was nothing he could have done for her, they all knew that. But all the while he can't help thinking they could have diagnosed it sooner, anything could have helped, but they didn't and it didn't.  
  
Anton pulls up at the hospital as Sarah comes running out, he half laughs, half sighs at her, what could be this important? He gets out of his car, locking it behind him, and heads off towards her as she continues to run, slip and slide, across the snow towards him.  
  
Sarah: I tried, paging and ringing you!  
  
Anton: Indeed Miss Jenkin, I was quite afraid you would turn up at my house soon. But all the same, I was trying hard to get here; one cannot do much about traffic.  
  
Sarah: Come on!  
  
She grabs his arm impatiently and tries to drag him across the car park, giving up half way she starts running, hoping he will be following. As they are running down the corridor she turns to him.  
  
Sarah: Its Mr Campbell-Gore sir, he went into cardiac arrest, we had to get him ready for surgery and we managed to get Mr Richards down here, but he can't do anything without you here sir.  
  
Anton: And Mr Campbell-Gore is?  
  
Sarah: Stable I think.  
  
Anton: And Mr Richards?  
  
Sarah: Adam, he's well. glad to be busy to be honest.  
  
They steer into surgery where Sarah leaves Anton and hurries back off down the corridor, glad that Anton was finally there she relaxes on one of the seats. A wave of tiredness spreads over her and she yawns as a nurse comes up beside her.  
  
Nurse: Keeping you up?  
  
Sarah laughs, lifting herself back onto her feet as she begins to do the ward rounds for about the hundredth time that night, surely it was coming up to five soon. She looks around the ward as she is checking all the notes, she doesn't want to go home alone, and hopefully Adam will be finished by sun-rise. She shivers as the thought of Steve comes into her mind, but she puts it down to being cold and walks back to the desk, sorting through files.  
  
Kath looks up from her book as she hears Nic's heart monitor as he goes into arrest, she jumps up and pushes the button, calling for help.  
  
Kath: Can we get some help in here? CRASH TROLLEY!!  
  
She looks around frantically, as the crash team push her out of the way, for Zubin who is no where to be seen. The sun has started to show slightly along the horizon, sending purple light over the star covered sky, as she looks out of the window opposite Nic's bed.  
  
Kath: Hold in there!  
  
She looks down at his body as the nurses and crash team run around, hopelessly trying to save him. She feels a single tear escape her eyes as she sees what is coming up next, no chance of him surviving. Why does everyone always die for her?  
  
Surgeon: Time of death, 2:00am, well done everyone.  
  
Sarah pulls away all the cables and packs it away as Kath drops onto her knees in flurries of tears as the surgeons and crash team disperse.  
  
Kath: NO!!!!  
  
Sarah: Kath, you know there is nothing we can do.  
  
She places her arm gently over Kath's shoulder; Kath pulls herself from her grip and heads off. She knows exactly where she is going, where she always goes to think, where everyone does, the roof. As she gets up there she sees the sun slowly rising up above the horizon, showing itself at once.  
  
Kath: Merry Christmas Nic.  
  
Ed turns to Lisa as she helps herself to more food, amazed at how much she can eat; amazed he is finally with her. He smiles to himself once again, beaming so hard he is frightened he might burst with happiness. He places his arm around her shoulder as they watch the sun slowly rising; they are silhouetted against the horizon.  
  
Lisa: Your going to run away now that you realise how much I eat aren't you?  
  
He giggles at her manor and complete mock-seriousness and grabs at all the food playfully hiding it in his arms.  
  
Ed: Yes!!!  
  
They fall into each others arms in complete laughter; they are one with each other, as they always seem to be. He looks into her eyes as they part, finally realising how much she loves him back, why still baffles him though.  
  
Kath piers over the edge out over the acres and acres of snow covered town, all glistening back at her as the snow begins to fall again, a white Christmas. The tears continue to fall down her face as Zubin comes up behind her, placing his arms around her middle. She turns around in his arms to face him and falls into his welcoming arms. Everytime something went wrong she always fell into his arms, he is her rock.  
  
Kath: Why does everyone leave me?  
  
Zubin pulls her away from him and looks into her eyes, holding onto her arms with his warming grip.  
  
Zubin: Look at me Kath, I'm not going anywhere, I promise you, and I'm not going to leave you, no matter what.  
  
Kath falls into his arms once again as he holds her, watching the sunset as she continues to cry. He strokes her hair gently and then falls down onto his knee, taking her hand.  
  
Zubin: I was going to give you your present tonight, last of all. But right now it seems the right thing to do.  
  
He produces a small black box from inside his jacket and opens it to face her, a glinting diamond ring. She raises her free hand to her mouth, knowing what is to come.  
  
Zubin: Kath, I love you so much and I never want any harm to come of you. I know you had a hard time with Simon, but I would NEVER treat you like that. What I'm really trying to say is, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, to grow old with you. Ok I'm not making much sense here; I didn't do this very well the first time either. I'm just going to come out and say it, instead of all this nonsense talking. Kath, will you marry me?  
  
She takes the box from his hand, nodding silently through tears of sorrow, but tears that are now singing with joy. He takes the ring from the box and places it on her finger, his face brimming with happiness; he is overcome by joy and delight.  
  
Zubin: Kath, I love you.  
  
Kath: I love you too Zubin.  
  
Sarah walks out into the darkness of the car park, constantly looking behind her until she finds herself at the safety of Adam's car. She bends down, getting inside it and looks nervously over at Adam who smiles gently at her, his eyes showing anger. Sarah pauses for a moment, looking at the sunset and then turns back to Adam.  
  
Sarah: Adam, what's the matter?  
  
Adam: You're never going to trust me are you, he scares you too much, and he has ruined your life too much.  
  
Sarah: I will Adam, just give me time.  
  
Adam: Not long enough.  
  
He tosses his keys into her arms and heads off across the car park, knowing where Steve is. She looks after him in shock and disbelief, where is he going, has he left her for good? She sighs and shifts seats, starting up the engine and drives off, trying to look out for Adam but fails. She sits back further in the seat as she pulls up in the drive of her house, looking around again just hoping Adam will be waiting around somewhere, she hates to be alone.  
  
Adam walks down the road, his nose bleeding deep red blood again, but this time it bothers him even less, Steve is finally warned off Sarah and won't be coming back. He smiles to himself, wiping the blood from his nose with his sleeve.  
  
Adam: This is a merry Christmas.  
  
He walks onto the drive of his home, wondering how Sarah will react to him fighting Steve, she won't be happy. He opens the door quietly and falls into her arms, she has waited up for him. He takes her hand leading her up to the bedroom, knowing it is finally time for some rest.  
  
Kath leans closer to Zubin, their hot breath warming each other, Kath's eyes alive with emotion and love.  
  
Kath: You know, a fairy tale never ends without a Kiss.  
  
She leans even closer and falls into his embrace, kissing him passionately. This truly is her happy ending, the happiest she could ever dream of in her wildest of dreams. She laughs as they split apart but are soon kissing once again on the roof, the sun still shining behind them as it rises above the purpling horizon. All the worries and grief of Nic lost in their love.  
  
Ed looks into Lisa's eyes as they sit inside the log cabin, the light from the fire brightening their faces in a soft glow. He strokes her hair and she reverts her gaze up to him, smiling gently into his softened face.  
  
Lisa: How did you know that I was telling the truth when I said I loved you not Nic?  
  
Ed: It was reflected in your tears. 


End file.
